Many women wonder why men cheat on their wives and girlfriends even if they still love them. Let’s explore the possible reasons for being unfaithful.

Nothing feels worse than being cheated and lied to by someone you love very dearly. People who get cheated on feel enraged, frustrated, disappointed, and broken.

Both men and women can be unfaithful. However, according to statistics, men are more likely to cheat on their spouses, girlfriends, and partners than women are.

Women are extremely sensitive and when being cheated, they suffer enormously. It makes sense why the first question that comes to their minds and that they keep asking themselves is: “Why did he cheat on me? Why does this happen to me?”

When I studied psychology at the university, I had to write a paper about this phenomenon. Thus, I did some research on the most common reasons for being unfaithful. But at that time, I was too young and lacked the experience to get a clear picture. Now, as five years have passed since my graduation, I feel more confident in expressing my own ideas about relationships and unfaithfulness.

Relationships are not easy. Any relationship can become vulnerable to an affair. Still, the truth is that most men who cheat still love their wives and girlfriends.

So why do men cheat on the women they love?

Of course, every situation is unique, but there are some common reasons:

1. Men cheat because they are immature.

Men often lack the maturity to fully understand that their woman will eventually discover their infidelity. They also neglect the fact that it will inevitably have devastating consequences like hurting their family and that they might even lose the woman they love.

2. Men cheat because they are insecure.

He might feel that he is too old or too young, not smart enough, not handsome enough, etc. to be desired. He chooses infidelity to get validation from other women. It helps him feel better about himself and to feel that he is worthy, desirable, and attractive to others.

3. Men cheat because they want to save their marriages.

Many men aren’t good communicators. When they have problems with their partners and do not know how to fix them, they think it’s much better to look for comfort elsewhere. They may feel trapped and unhappy in their relationships but they do not want to hurt their partners breaking up with them.

They hope that their partners might eventually become the person who will give what they want.

4. Men cheat because of selfishness.

He cares only about himself alone, so he can lie without regret if he gets what he wants. His selfishness prevents him from honoring another person above self and ruins his integrity of character and commitment.

5. Men cheat because they have unrealistic expectations.

Some men who thought that after marriage, their life would be great become disillusioned with their marriages when they have to take responsibilities and take care of other people and their needs. They believe that their partners should meet their whims and desires 24/7. It’s because they fail to understand that their spouses have lives of their own and may have other priorities (children, home, finance, work).



When their expectations are not met, they start looking for intimate attention elsewhere because they think that they deserve to be happy.

6. Men cheat because they lack admiration and praise and when they don’t feel valued.

Men like to be praised spontaneously and genuinely. They work hard for their families and would like to receive appreciation and attention. If their emotional needs are not met and they are constantly ignored or criticized, they may feel neglected and emotionally disconnected from their partners and lack intimacy in their marriage.

Then, they consider an affair as an opportunity to receive approval, admiration, attention that makes them feel good. This is probably one of the most common reasons why men cheat.

7. Men cheat because the relationship is losing excitement.

If a relationship gets monotonous, it may feel like a burden. If you feel bored in the relationship, it’s just a matter of time before one of you start looking for opportunities to make your life more exciting.

Men often have affairs to escape from the routine of everyday life and have a new experience or some adventure. They are looking for thrill, excitement, and novelty.

8. Men cheat because they are confused about love.

Some men fail to understand the evolution of love in healthy long-term relationships. They don’t understand that in a truly committed relationship, the rush of early romance is replaced with less intense feelings of commitment, attachment, and emotional intimacy.



Men who focus on the romantic ideal, miss this short and intense phase and start longing for a passion that was present when their relationship began.

There might be a multitude of reasons why men cheat. Yet, the truth is that most of them really want to be faithful and committed in their relationships. So the main reason for unfaithfulness is that something is going wrong in the relationships.

When someone is cheating, either it’s a man or a woman, it means that his/her needs are not being met in a relationship or marriage.

Men want to feel appreciated, admired, and desired by partners and they want to feel loved. Men who are not happy in their relationships frequently do not express these feelings. Thus, they suffer in silence when they can get what is important for them.

So although they truly love their wives and children, some men get unsatisfied with the current state of their relationships. As a result, they try to get what they need through cheating.

The best way to avoid this in your marriage is to take steps to improve communication and intimacy. It is equally important to keep your relationship healthy and find happiness together with your partner.

You can fix your relationship if you and your partner are really committed to your future together. The most important part is to be willing to work on it and understand that it takes a lot of patience and hard work.

Valerie Soleil, B.A., LL.B.

Copyright © 2014-2020 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Jessie

    You ”””’LOVE”””” someone you cheat on….that is the most illogical phrase. You might see them as a partner but never ”””love””’ when you go outside to look for what you do not get. This is a very bad name for an article as it lies in it’s very name and also in other phrases. One should know first what true love for partner in life is and just than say you can ever cheat or lie or be unappreciative. From the first cheat, love is dead. (I was on both sides of the story)

    1. Avatar
      Stephanie

      Totally agree. All the reasons above point to selfishness. (Even in the case where someone doesn’t feel valued, just walk away. Why cheat?) Selfishness is not love. If you love someone, you don’t cheat.

  2. Avatar
    Malcolm

    It is also blatantly sexist. It would have been so much better had you addressed both sexes equally. And trust me, I know through experience that women cheat

    1. Avatar
      Stephanie

      But it’s an article about why men cheat…

  3. Avatar
    David

    “… they consider an affair as an opportunity to receive approval, admiration, attention that makes them feel good”. This is the heart of it – the other woman makes them feel good about themselves.

    1. Avatar
      Stephanie

      Value and worth need to come from within. Hopping from one person to the other in hopes of finding someone that makes you feel good about yourself is a disaster (and selfish). Leave the person who is not healthy; don’t cheat just to make yourself feel good about yourself.

  4. Avatar
    Fred

    Yeah i don’t think that’s a relationship, from starts its a slavery with everything being taken away and isolation granted…. also I am bored it’s always the same

  5. Avatar
    A man

    This was written by a woman. I know because it’s extremely sexist and shows her clear disposition towards men. Men cheat on women they love because to a man sex and emotion don’t always come together. Men don’t “cheat”, they engage in sexual activities with other women for mostly physical reasons, while when a women cheats, it’s almost always emotional. Due to lack of empathy and understanding, women think that when their man cheats, it’s the same as if they would, and that’s why they call it cheating. it’s not. A man can engage in sexual activities with 0 emotion involved, women can’t. When they think they do, it’s usually all about emotions about their dads. Monogamy serves women and seriously hurts mens rights of self fulfillment and freedom. I hope every man you date cheats on you until you come to realize this very simple truth.

    1. Avatar
      Stephanie

      Well… you claim to understand how women feel, but you obviously missed something very important: CHEATING (yes, cheating because that’s what it is) on a woman is betrayal and it hurts, so it’s very selfish to do it. If YOU don’t like the truth, never be with a woman. Have all the “physical stuff” all by yourself. We don’t need someone like you around. Thanks.

      Also, we all know a woman wrote it because her picture is below the article.

  6. Avatar
    Arthur

    I don’t care if you are a man or a woman writer. I just want to give this article a thing or two to wonder on factual possibilities, which even Hollywood can’t figure out. Honestly, It is true that everything you say applies to both sexes.

    What I don’t read here, is, that either sex has extra-marital relationships because they have realized they have never really been in love with their so-called significant other. In many occasions, men or women minds, unconsciously play make believe they have found their True Love, when in fact, they haven’t or they never did, it was just a joke life played on them. Which, could result in several consciously or unconsciously actions on behalf of either gender. Something, they can’t comprehend if analyze from the socially promulgated fatuous believes imposed in their inexperienced, or undeveloped minds.

    Let it be known I am not insulting them, for, if humans were to think or trained to think in a more unbiased and deepest manner, without the input from others about love, emotional love, just relying on their own assumptions about what is true in their Heart (so-called the nucleus for the development of feelings towards a career, passion, or Love for that matter), they would find that all they believe in was created according to the expectation from others in accordance with unrealistic emotional feelings about finding Love, True Love.

    In some instances, they never thought of, why their assumptions of falling in love with someone could be wrong, in the sense of being just an infatuation and joy to find pleasure in the company of another human being, but their minds trick them into believing that the pleasures they experience with another person transform into what society calls Love, because their programming is culturally compliance to inadequate beliefs they were brought up with, and the inputs they received from family or friends. e.g., Lets say person A believes to fall in love with person B, but circumstances bring them apart, how likely is that person to travel the Atlantic Ocean to go look for that human being they believe they have fallen in love, even if it takes him or her through difficult moments, painstaking moments during their search for that other person? How likely is person A to let go of family, friends, and dreams just to be with person B?

    How likely is person A to do the impossible to protect person B even from their own Government regardless of any problems it may cause them? How likely is person A to have the grown-up attitude to rescue, protect, and let go of person B if the circumstances call for person B to disappear and not be found by anyone, including he or her? I know these are extreme assumptions, but play the game for a moment and ask yourself if you truly were capable of doing any of this? How likely are they to vanish from their family if the family and friends do not accept person B as his or her significant other?

  7. Avatar
    heart broken

    My boyfriend lied about where he was living for 2 years. When I found out he broke up with me. We continued to see eachother and were intimate. He swore I was the only one his soulmate his only love his last love. Three months later I showed up and saw him holding hands and laughing with someone else. He became enraged with me instead of being sorry. His biggest concern was her. Why didn’t he just break up with me if he was so happy with her? I don’t understand and I guess I never will. I knew him since kindergarten. He was the love of my life and I would’ve done anything for him. Ive been so devastated heart broken sick to my stomach, I cant eat I cant sleep and all I do is cry. Can someone tell me how he could do this to me? I am numb and dead inside

    1. Avatar
      Stephanie

      He kind of sounds like a narcissist. You might want to look up information about narcissists because some of his other possible behaviors might tell you whether he is one. He lied to you and cheated. Instead of feeling bad, he was angry. These are all huge red flags. You dodged a bullet. Hopefully, he hasn’t come back.

  8. Avatar
    Steve

    It is most of the women nowadays that are very unfaithful since they’re without a doubt the biggest cheaters of them all, and just can’t stay committed to only one man anymore today unfortunately.

  9. Avatar
    Life

    Men cheat because they know they are capable of getting into a new relationship anytime they feel like it. I was being cheated on when I was pregnant. We planned it but he went out and cheated on me, he kept on breaking and breaking my heart. I would sleep with a broken heart crying. One day found him with the girl. Instead of being of sorry he broke with me infront of his new girl. Our baby was still so young 10 days.

    Through all this after a year he came back, I forgave him. He then went again cheated on me after he deny the truth that he can see, took pictures with his girl then the girl posted he denied and said they are just friends, yet people could see her coming out of his house every morning, and the little was so young a 2000 girl

    1. Avatar
      Stephanie

      He’s no good. You’re better off without him. God bless you and your little one.

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