Many women wonder why men cheat on their wives and girlfriends even if they still love them. Let’s explore the possible reasons for being unfaithful.

Nothing feels worse than being cheated and lied to by someone you love very dearly. People who get cheated on feel enraged, frustrated, disappointed, and broken.

Both men and women can be unfaithful. However, according to statistics, men are more likely to cheat on their spouses, girlfriends, and partners than women are.

Women are extremely sensitive and when being cheated, they suffer enormously. It makes sense why the first question that comes to their minds and that they keep asking themselves is: “Why did he cheat on me? Why does this happen to me?”

When I studied psychology at the university, I had to write a paper about this phenomenon. Thus, I did some research on the most common reasons for being unfaithful. But at that time, I was too young and lacked the experience to get a clear picture. Now, as five years have passed since my graduation, I feel more confident in expressing my own ideas about relationships and unfaithfulness.

Relationships are not easy. Any relationship can become vulnerable to an affair. Still, the truth is that most men who cheat still love their wives and girlfriends.

So why do men cheat on the women they love?

Of course, every situation is unique, but there are some common reasons:

1. Men cheat because they are immature.

Men often lack the maturity to fully understand that their woman will eventually discover their infidelity. They also neglect the fact that it will inevitably have devastating consequences like hurting their family and that they might even lose the woman they love.

2. Men cheat because they are insecure.

He might feel that he is too old or too young, not smart enough, not handsome enough, etc. to be desired. He chooses infidelity to get validation from other women. It helps him feel better about himself and to feel that he is worthy, desirable, and attractive to others.

3. Men cheat because they want to save their marriages.

Many men aren’t good communicators. When they have problems with their partners and do not know how to fix them, they think it’s much better to look for comfort elsewhere. They may feel trapped and unhappy in their relationships but they do not want to hurt their partners breaking up with them.

They hope that their partners might eventually become the person who will give what they want.

4. Men cheat because of selfishness.

He cares only about himself alone, so he can lie without regret if he gets what he wants. His selfishness prevents him from honoring another person above self and ruins his integrity of character and commitment.

5. Men cheat because they have unrealistic expectations.

Some men who thought that after marriage, their life would be great become disillusioned with their marriages when they have to take responsibilities and take care of other people and their needs. They believe that their partners should meet their whims and desires 24/7. It’s because they fail to understand that their spouses have lives of their own and may have other priorities (children, home, finance, work).

When their expectations are not met, they start looking for intimate attention elsewhere because they think that they deserve to be happy.

6. Men cheat because they lack admiration and praise and when they don’t feel valued.

Men like to be praised spontaneously and genuinely. They work hard for their families and would like to receive appreciation and attention. If their emotional needs are not met and they are constantly ignored or criticized, they may feel neglected and emotionally disconnected from their partners and lack intimacy in their marriage.

Then, they consider an affair as an opportunity to receive approval, admiration, attention that makes them feel good. This is probably one of the most common reasons why men cheat.

7. Men cheat because the relationship is losing excitement.

If a relationship gets monotonous, it may feel like a burden. If you feel bored in the relationship, it’s just a matter of time before one of you start looking for opportunities to make your life more exciting.

Men often have affairs to escape from the routine of everyday life and have a new experience or some adventure. They are looking for thrill, excitement, and novelty.

8. Men cheat because they are confused about love.

Some men fail to understand the evolution of love in healthy long-term relationships. They don’t understand that in a truly committed relationship, the rush of early romance is replaced with less intense feelings of commitment, attachment, and emotional intimacy.

Men who focus on the romantic ideal, miss this short and intense phase and start longing for a passion that was present when their relationship began.

There might be a multitude of reasons why men cheat. Yet, the truth is that most of them really want to be faithful and committed in their relationships. So the main reason for unfaithfulness is that something is going wrong in the relationships.

When someone is cheating, either it’s a man or a woman, it means that his/her needs are not being met in a relationship or marriage.

Men want to feel appreciated, admired, and desired by partners and they want to feel loved. Men who are not happy in their relationships frequently do not express these feelings. Thus, they suffer in silence when they can get what is important for them.

So although they truly love their wives and children, some men get unsatisfied with the current state of their relationships. As a result, they try to get what they need through cheating.

The best way to avoid this in your marriage is to take steps to improve communication and intimacy. It is equally important to keep your relationship healthy and find happiness together with your partner.

You can fix your relationship if you and your partner are really committed to your future together. The most important part is to be willing to work on it and understand that it takes a lot of patience and hard work.

Valerie Soleil, B.A., LL.B.

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