Are you that one emotionally detached person who at the same is affectionate?

Having two separate sides to your personality can be difficult. Particularly when you’re an emotionally detached person, hard shell on the outside and secretly affectionate on the inside, with few special people.

Here are ten struggles only those people face:

1. People base your relationship on your level of PDA

People may assume that since you’re not all over your partner in public, that you aren’t that into them or that you’re never affectionate in private either. For emotionally detached/affectionate people, showing affection is something private that can be enjoyed without others seeing and for them, it has no reflection of the relationship whatsoever.

2. You like to sleep separately

Being emotionally detached and secretly affectionate can mean you like your cuddles, but you also like your own space, especially at bedtime. Sure, it’s nice to know the person you care for is next to you, but you just don’t want them to be too close to your personal space.

3. Seeing PDA tends to unsettle you

Sure, it can be cute when you see a loved-up couple sharing a quick moment together, but when it’s too much, it’s too much and you just can’t cope with it.

4. You’re not much of a hugger, especially with strangers

When it comes to saying bye to people, especially strangers, you’d rather walk away and wave behind you than hug them goodbye because that means having somebody in your personal space and most of the time, you’re just not okay with that.

5. Touchy-feely people make you feel uncomfortable

This one can come in many shapes and sizes. Whether it’s drunk friends, family parties or sometimes even strangers, people who are touchy-feely and get all up in your personal space make you feel way too uncomfortable. Family parties are the worst – everyone kissing you on your cheeks and giving familial hugs, it’s too much and it needs to stop!

6. Opening up to your partner can be hard

Whether they mean to or not, emotionally detached/affectionate people usually have a lot of walls up in new relationships. They may be entirely sure of their feelingsbut may struggle to get them out, particularly when it comes to saying those three special words.

7. You’re very caring

When you care about someone, you really do care and when that person really needs you, you’re there no matter what. The distant side to you can completely disappear when a loved one is in need and they can often be shocked by your caring attitude.

8. You hate other people witnessing your social interactions

Whether it’s saying goodbye to your friend or welcoming a family member at the airport, you hate when other people watch you and your social interactions. Those are meant to be private and when other people are watching you, it can make you very uncomfortable and adds pressure that you already felt from having to deal with close personal interactions anyway!

9. You’re not sure how to act when somebody is upset

If somebody you don’t know that well gets upset over something small, the emotion can shock you and you don’t know how to act. This is very different to point number 7, which was about people you care about.

This one has more to do with acquaintances and people who you may not know on a deeper level becoming emotional over something seemingly insignificant and you just don’t know how to handle it.

10. Your friends appreciate that you have your own way of showing love

Whether it’s friends, family or your partner, they know you may not show your love in a “conventional” way, so they have gotten used to your little acts of love and know to appreciate them.

Being emotionally detached but secretly affectionate can be hard and there are a lot of struggles that come with it. But if you open up your heart to those who earn it and who you truly care for, you won’t regret it.

Do you class yourself as an emotionally detached but affectionate person? Or do you have different types of ‘layers’ to your personality? Let us know in the comments!

Like what you are reading? Subscribe to our newsletter to make sure you don’t miss new life-advancing articles!

Copyright © 2014-2024 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Rachel

    Yes its been my struggle for long time . and my family doesn’t understand . and see it has I don’t care and Then feeling pressured. Just want to withdraw more.

  2. Melissa Rodda

    This describes my 18 year old daughter. Not only can I see it is difficult being her, but it’s difficult living with her too. Most people don’t understand her and if she feels even the slightest bit of pressure to do or show more emotions she crumbles and withdraws. But she has a huge heart, is very passionate about things she cares about. It is a huge challenge to be around someone who seems so cold and uncaring on one hand but so giving on another. And because she is young, a lot of this is directed at or around me. I’m hoping she learns to cope better as she ages and develops.

  3. Prottoy

    Yes ,most of the above matches but 1 point was avoided,some people are very alone,they don’t have any friends,what for them ??? lonely people sometimes think as if they are alien or something…….

Leave a Reply