Have you ever said anything about rebound relationships? Perhaps you have had a rebound relationship in the past or are in one right now and don’t realise it.
‘She’s only with him because she’s on the rebound‘; ‘I only got with her because it was on the rebound from Julie, it was never bound to last‘. These and similar comments are likely things you have heard said by others in the past.
From the outside looking in, a rebound relationship can be very easy to spot. From the inside though, inside that relationship bubble, it might be that you are unaware.
If you are unsure about whether you are or have been in one in the past though, don’t be alarmed. You have come to the right place. In this post, we are going to discuss exactly what a rebound relationship is and signs to recognise you are in one.
What Is a Rebound Relationship?
A rebound relationship is generally defined as one that started after another ended. But the main feature is that it happens before the feelings about the previous relationship are properly resolved.
More often than not they occur after a serious, long-term or just intense relationship. The reason why people rush into another relationship so quickly is often that they are emotionally fraught and hormonally imbalanced.
They want to avoid facing the necessary feelings of grief and loss for the previous relationship. Instead of facing them and moving on healthily, they jump right into another emotionally-charged and intimate relationship.
While it is true that not all rebound relationships are destined for disaster, there are studies that show many can be harmful and detrimental to all involved.
How can you tell if your new relationship is on the rebound or is a genuine healthy new relationship?
We’ve put together a tell-tale list of the most common signs:
Starting a Relationship with Someone You Know Is Not a ‘Keeper’
This is by far the most common sign to look out for. If you have started dating someone new, that you know when you really think about it that they are fun, but not for the long-term.
There is nothing wrong especially bad about having a fun, short-term relationship with a consenting adult. However, when you jump straight into one almost immediately after the last one, you are running the risk of causing physical and emotional pain for both you and your new partner.
You Love the Attention
Often, after a hard breakup, people have a tendency to find someone who will make them feel good and give them attention. If your new partner is big on gestures of affection and not scared to show their interest; you need to ask yourself some serious questions.
Do you like the relationship between the relationship and the partner? Or do you like it because the attention and positivity make you feel good and blocks out the sadness and pain of the break-up?
You Neglect Your Partner When You Feel Alright, Want Attention When You Are Lonely
One of the clearest signs that you are in an unhealthy rebound relationship is if you find yourself only calling and wanting to spend time with your new partner when you feel lonely.
Are you always busy when you are happy or less likely to make plans with them when you are feeling good? It is a sign that the relationship is an emotionally convenient one for you. You are only spending time with them because of your needs, not your wants.
You Love Showing Your New Partner Off to Your Ex
There is nothing wrong with wanting to shout from the rooftops that you are in love, or even just in lust. But when it is at your former partner’s expense or to spite them, it is a sign that your rebound relationship is not healthy.
Do you like to show-off date night pics and anecdotes on social media and make a big showy display when you attend events or go to places you know your ex will be present?
If this is consistently happening, you need to ask yourself whether you really are with the new partner because you want to be or if it is just because you want to hurt your ex.
Looking for Personality Traits of Your Ex in Your New Partner
This is less common than a lot of the other signs included in this list. Though, it still happens. Sometimes, people subconsciously or even consciously look for personality traits in their new partner that remind them of their ex.
For instance, if you broke up with a very athletic person and are now dating another athlete, it could be that you are doing so merely because you are on the rebound. Another good example is if you recently broke-up from a blonde and immediately start dating another blonde.
Although it could just be that those are your favourite characteristics, it may be something far less healthy. You want to cling on to memories of your ex or you want to prove that you are loveable. So you look to be loved by someone like your ex, to prove this to yourself.
You Spend a Lot of Time Thinking about Your Ex When You Are with Someone New
As noted at the outset, one of the defining factors of a rebound relationship is that it starts before residual feelings have been resolved for the former relationship. Because you haven’t given yourself enough time to grieve and move on, you are left still reminiscing and thinking about your ex.
The unhealthy part of this is that you may find yourself still mulling over your ex. Even when you are spending time with your new partner.
Not only will this distract you from putting effort into the new relationship, it is not fair to your new partner.