It’s a mindset, honestly. If you want to understand how to get over your ex, you have to learn to love yourself and become acquainted with who you really are.
For some of you, learning how to get over your ex is easy. For others, it’s one of the hardest things you will ever do. It’s about a mixture of self-esteem, history, and children, if applicable. Some factors of holding on to a relationship are positive/some are negative. It’s all how you look at it, and how you develop a new sense of self.
Get over it and move on!
It’s not so easy to just get over it, you have to learn in various ways how to get over your ex. You can’t just wish the memories away or tell the intrusive thoughts to leave you alone. You must have a plan in place to begin the cleanup process. For instance, here are a few ways to make that happen, according to psychologists.
You don’t really need a psychologist to tell you this, but if you stay busy, you can learn how to get over your ex. Find a hobby, clean and organize a room, or do things for friends that help them. In this process, you will change pathways in the brain and create new memories and a new purpose.
You shouldn’t try to get over an ex by yourself. This can lead to more nostalgic thoughts and the desire to rekindle the relationship. The thing is, some things were never meant to be and you will just torture yourself by trying to put the relationship back together. You have to let go.
You should surround yourself with friends and family, ones that will be happy to support and comfort you during this time. Be thankful for your friends, as well, because it’s better to have them than to be alone in your suffering. With their company and good vibes, you will begin to feel much better. You can then move on.
Contrary to what eternally optimistic people may say, sad music is good for you. During a breakup and right after the traumatic event, you should listen to sad music. Surprisingly, it has the ability to lift your spirits and make you immediately feel better. It’s not clear how this works, but it does.
It may sound strange, but having a rebound relationship is actually good for you after a painful breakup. Some people think it’s too sudden or that you are using the new person to bandage the wounds of lost love. There’s a better way to look at it, however, and that’s to see it as a mutual company. Maybe your rebound is doing the same thing. You never really know.
There is no time limit after a breakup for you to engage in new relations. It just depends on what feels right for you. Remember, you are the one who endured the end of the relationship, not your friends. They cannot tell you what is right or wrong in terms of healing.
Focus on why
When you start to miss your ex, take a moment to remember why you broke up in the first place. Most of the time it was for a good reason. If your ex-partner was selfish, manipulative, and otherwise abusive, remembering the negative events in the relationship will bring things back into perspective. All the wonderful and sweet memories will be overshadowed by what really happened most of the time.
Think about it this way: If the bad times outweighed the good, then it is time to move on. The breakup may be the best thing you’ve done yet. Take a look back and understand once more why it had to end.
Learn and apply
To get over an ex, you can understand what you’ve learned so far. All the negative things that occurred during the union will be lessons for future relationships. You will know what works and what doesn’t work. You will differentiate between good and bad ideas as well.
Learn things from the breakup and all the negative experiences and apply this in the future.
If you want to date someone else, why not date yourself. Now’s the time to focus on yourself and learn everything you can about what makes you tick. I bet you thought you already knew yourself well. I bet you’re wrong. After all, I honestly think when you learn to be happy alone, you will see things about yourself that you never thought existed.
You might seem like a stranger. Don’t be afraid, this is just the real you peeking your head about the corner. Embrace you!!!
Most of all, after a breakup, you need to let yourself be sad. In order to truly get over an ex, you have to cry and allow yourself to feel the raw pain. Yes, it will be one of the worst feelings ever, but it will help heal your wounds.
If you hold it in, it will fester causing emotional, mental, and physical problems. Learning how to get over your ex is about honoring your grief.
You can get over your ex. I promise
There’s nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to the task. I thought I could never let my ex-husband go, but I did. It took me 20 years and two attempts to realize it wasn’t meant to be. I suffered from low self-esteem, negative baggage, and abuse to learn that I was worth so much more than my treatment.
I finally left and embraced my new life. You can too!
By Sherrie S.
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