There are a few warning signs that you should look out for to spot someone who isn’t ready for a relationship so you can invest your time in someone who is.
The first phases of dating are always exciting, getting dressed up and getting to know each other is always good fun. Yet, as time goes on, you can begin to wonder whether the person you are dating is truly ready for a relationship.
Here are some signs to help you find out:
1. They’re hard to make plans with.
If someone isn’t ready to commit, they probably won’t be very accommodating when you try to make future plans. If you are planning for something within the week, they will get back to you, but anything after that will be hard to pin down.
Plans that seem to be too committal will be very difficult to finalize. If your partner is umming and ahhing over a weekend away, they may not be ready to settle down just yet.
2. They don’t give you an answer to where the relationship is going.
If you have asked the brave question of where the relationship is going, you may have been left quite disappointed with the answer. Someone with intentions will make them clear when asked this question, whether it be that they want a relationship or that they do not.
Someone who isn’t entirely ready for a relationship, but doesn’t necessarily want to be single, will be vague and won’t answer the question.
3. They don’t have many long relationships.
A serial dater won’t have any recent record of a long relationship. It may be a series of short relationships or long periods of no relationship at all, but it’s a sure sign that someone hasn’t, and isn’t, ready to commit.
Although there is a chance he may choose you to make the change, he also may just be casually dating at the moment.
4. They’re known for being single.
If someone has a reputation, there is a reason for it. If someone is known for being the single one then they may have been happy to garner it. Although it may be an unwanted reputation, it’s always a warning sign if they play into the jokes.
5. They’re inconsistent.
One week they are obsessed with you, the next they are apathetic. If they randomly give you periods of lots of attention with periods of no contact, then they aren’t ready to commit the right amount of time to a relationship. It may not be that there is anyone else, their schedule may just be a little bit too full right now.
6. They avoid introducing you to friends and family.
Meeting the parents is a big step in a relationship, and if someone isn’t willing to commit then they may be reluctant to introduce you to their closest friends and family.
This is a clear sign that they aren’t envisioning a future, as keeping you from meeting their family means that they plan on keeping you around for a while. If you feel it’s time to meet the parents whereas they do not, you may be in slightly different places in the relationship.
7. They don’t plan far into the future.
Planning dates are part of the fun of, well, dating, but if dates are only days or weeks in the future, there may not be as much commitment coming from your partner. In the beginning, planning for dates in the near future is a good way of getting to know one another, but long-distance plans signify a commitment to the relationship until then.
If it’s been a while and you’re still planning dates only days in advance, you may not be with someone who is ready for a bit of commitment.
8. They still live with their parents.
In your twenties, living with your parents is a natural part of growing up, as most people need to save before getting a place of their own. When it gets to your thirties, however, living with your parents is less acceptable.
Failure to launch is a key indicator of someone who is not ready for a relationship, as they don’t have the maturity to live alone.
9. They don’t prioritize.
Prioritising the right things is an important part of being an adult. Work and life admin are two of the most important things to keep on top of, whilst still allowing yourself time with friends and family, and doing the things we enjoy.
Having the right work-life balance is important, and someone who prioritizes the fun parts of life more than the important parts of a career may not be ready to prioritize a relationship.
10. They recently became single.
Sometimes people aren’t ready for a relationship is more emotional than it is maturity. If someone has recently come out of a relationship, they need time to heal and process what has happened. A relationship closely following another may simply be a rebound, and this will end up hurting both partners.
Finding someone to settle down with can be a challenge, and you have to kiss a few frogs to get to the prince. Knowing the signs of someone who isn’t ready for a relationship can save you a lot of time and heartache, so you can find your prince a bit faster.
By Francesca F.