When you are in love, you often miss the signs that your relationship is getting one-sided. Could it be? Could you be in this type of situation? It’s easy to fall into the trap of a one-sided relationship.
In the beginning, everything seems perfect. This is mainly due to the fact that you’re seeing things through what some call “rose-colored glasses”. This means your relationship looks and feels amazing, and the new love is so strong that it covers all faults and imperfections… even the one-sided traits.
When you’re dating or even married, things should be balanced in order for both parties to be happy. Relationships should be 50/50. Love, commitment, and basic care should always be the same between two people in an intimate union.
So when you find yourself in a one-way relationship, it surely isn’t a happy situation, at least for the one who’s doing all the work. So why do people enter and stay in one-sided relationships?
Why Do People Get Involved in One-Way Relationships?
Honestly, most people don’t even know their relationship isn’t 50/50. To them, the actions may seem normal, their self-esteem could play a part, and many other factors could blind someone from seeing the truth of the relationship. That’s why we have to know the signs of a one-way relationship.
Don’t beat yourself up if you realize you’ve been a part of an unfair situation with your mate though. Many people endure this and often fail to see and interpret the signs.
I have endured one-sided aspects of a relationship before, but I survived. And no, I’m not still feeling like a fool. It happens to plenty of people, honestly.
How to Recognize the Signs of a One-Sided Relationship?
So, without dragging this on, here are some signs you may have been ignoring.
You always reach out first
It’s okay to reach out to your partner when you want to talk. What’s not okay is when you seem to always be the first one to initiate conversations or texts. Honestly, think about it. If your partner never calls first, never starts conversations face to face, and never plans fun things to do with you, then something is terribly wrong.
Are you always the one who starts the process, whether it’s the calls, texts, or even intimacy? Are you the only one making plans to go out or even visiting your partner if you’re not yet married? If you’re married, do you initiate almost everything, unless your mate already wants to do it for themselves? It has to be a selfish desire if they initiate anything.
If these things ring a bell, your relationship could be one-sided. In fact, it must be if the other member of the relationship has no desire to reach out for anything.
If you find it easy to open up to your partner, then you’re doing it the right way. Unfortunately, some emotionally unavailable girlfriends and boyfriends have a hard time opening up at all, and this leads to one-sided relationships.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you share things with each other. This could be tangible things, but the most important things are mental things. It is important to be honest with your partner, and it’s healthy to talk about your feelings with one another.
You shouldn’t be the only one sharing stories about yourself to your partner, or sharing your deepest faults and feelings. It’s a bad sign if you’re telling your partner everything, and they’re utilizing a brick wall to hide their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Maybe you haven’t noticed the difference here before, but I bet you’re considering it now.
If they aren’t doing the same, they are definitely creating an imbalance and not only that, they are keeping up with everything you say in case they need to use it against you. While not everyone uses facts to hurt people, when some relationships end, one person uses what they know about the other and smears their ex-partner’s reputation. Watch out.
Issues aren’t fixed
Here’s one that has really irritated me in the past, and I looked past it so many times. Well, I’m here to help you see it early on.
Have you expressed something that bothers you to your mate? How did they react? If your partner listened and helped you work through these things, that’s good. If they told you that you’re nagging and then refused to change any of these issues, then you might be fighting a one-sided battle.
While we should all have freedom, we should never let our freedom come before the feelings of our mate. In healthy relationships, partners express things that bother them, and they both work on ways to fix the issues, either compromising or sacrificing damaging influences. You will know you’re in a one-sided relationship with your partner when he or she refuses to be considerate of your feelings.
Communication is one of the most important aspects of a happy relationship, and if you cannot use it, then the relationship is doomed. If one person is trying to communicate problems in the union, and you brush them off or get angry, then this is one-sided behavior also known as stonewalling.
You cannot fix a problem unless both parties are involved in the discussion, and yes, there needs to be a discussion.
One way to reveal an unequal one-sided relationship is to pay attention to your partner’s priorities. While priorities can vary a bit when it comes to relationships, no one should pick their friends over their partner. It’s just not right. If your partner rather spends time with friends than you, you could be in a relationship that just isn’t fair.
Too many or wrongful apologies
Yeah, sure, sometimes, the fight is your fault, but not all the time. There is rarely a relationship where all the fault goes to one person. If your girlfriend refuses to take responsibility for her part of the disagreement or issue, then the relationship’s balance is off.
Maybe you think you’re keeping the peace by apologizing all the time, but you’re only letting them take advantage of you. Apologies are important, but not when you’re handing them out left and right for no reason. If you make a mistake or do something wrong, by all means, say you’re sorry. But don’t get stuck on apologies to please your significant other.
If you are shelling out apologies for being tired or for something you didn’t do, then the relationship is coming from a one-sided angle.
Making excuses for your partner’s behavior is another tell-tale sign of a one-sided relationship.
Of course, this also depends on why you’re making excuses as well. If you are ashamed of your partner, then making excuses is an issue within YOU. But if you’re making excuses because of mistreatment, then seems like your partner has the upper hand. You are helping them portray an image that isn’t real. It might be time to get out.
Your parents, friends, or other loved ones may start to notice little things about him that seem a little off, but you will always come to his rescue. I remember doing the same thing in my first marriage. My husband was abusive, my parents noticed, and they warned me. I told them he was just going through some serious problems at the time.
Just face it, if you’re making excuses for your partner’s toxic behavior, you’re in the wrong relationship.
You have to ask for favors
Do you often find yourself having to ask for favors that you gladly do for your husband? Well, this is a sign of a one-way relationship.
If you’re shopping and pick up some small treat, you will probably think of your husband. Will he do the same for you when he’s out? You have to pay attention to these small things as well in order to understand the direction the relationship is going.
You second guess your own mind
One of the worst parts of being in a one-way marriage or union is second-guessing yourself. Here’s an example of what that means.
If you’ve ever lived alone after leaving your parent’s home, then hopefully, you’ve discovered the basics of who you are. When you enter a one-way relationship, after a while, your partner will have you questioning who you really are… even those basics you discovered while being alone.
This is usually done to get you off-kilter and prove you wrong, in case you are in an argument. Never ever let your partner make you second guess your worth.
You’re just not happy
And then there’s getting right to the point. Maybe you aren’t happy with your wife. Maybe you thought you had many things in common but realized that wasn’t true.
There could be some attributes or characteristics that were exposed during the first part of the marriage, and now you’re trying to make it work. If both of you aren’t trying, then you are probably incredibly unhappy. You’re living a fake life with a fake marriage.
There’s way too much stress
I realized something a long time ago, and here is what I know now: If there are more bad times than good, it’s time to evaluate the relationship.
Being overly stressed out may be due to an imbalanced love affair. If one person is stressed out and the other one seems happy and carefree, something isn’t right. It’s time to consider the future of your relationship.
There’s just a feeling
Sometimes you just feel like the relationship is unfair. Maybe you’re dealing with negative energies which cause you to question the future with your boyfriend.
Honestly, there may be no clear reasons why you feel this way, but the feeling may be so strong that you build resentment. This is the time to evaluate all the other signs above and see if some of these things are happening right under your nose.
Hey, some things just aren’t that obvious when you’re in love, and all you have to go on is a lingering feeling of doubt. Pay attention to this.
What to Do If You Are in a One-Sided Relationship?
Being in an unbalanced relationship is horrific. I’ve been there, and more than once. It seems I have a hard time learning my lesson about dating people who don’t pull their weight.
I hate to tell you, but when one side dominates the other in a relationship, it will usually fail if not improved or changed. The key is always equality when it comes to how you treat your mate and how they treat you in return. It’s only fair that both parties get the attention, love, and care they deserve.
If you are in a one-sided relationship, then you’re not the only one. There are so many people, women, and men, who are struggling to make their relationship work right at this very moment. But unfortunately, not all of them will stay together.
On the other hand, fortunately yet, not all of them will stay together. Sometimes the relationship can’t be saved. If one person is never willing to pull it back to 50/50, then you’re actually better off alone than with someone who will never really appreciate you.
If you think you’re in a one-sided relationship, it’s time to talk it through. Study these signs, understand what they mean to you, and decide what you need to do for your relationship.
- 6 Amazing Benefits of Reading Aloud to Children, Backed by Science - May 31, 2022
- Is My Marriage Over? 10 Ways to Know for Sure - April 4, 2021
- How to Not Be Clingy in a Relationship? 7 Annoying Behaviors to Avoid - February 22, 2021
Copyright © 2014-2023 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.