Surprisingly, resentment in relationships is common and it can ruin lives. After all, it’s easy to let anger fester into bitterness.
I’m no stranger to being offended. Many times, I have taken things the wrong way and let these things grow into even bigger problems. Even when there was a serious issue, I could blow it out of proportion. And yes, it’s good to stand up for yourself, but not to be abusive.
What resentment does to our relationships
Resentment in relationships can do just that, it can quickly turn into an abusive situation, so you have to be careful. That’s the entire point of this post. I want to explore what can happen when resentment brews.
There are several ways in which resentment can affect your relationship and your life in general. Shall we?
1. Little things become huge problems
One way that resentment can ruin your life is by making small issues into large ones. For instance, if you don’t like your partner’s past times and you choose to make mean remarks, this can fester into true resentment for the both of you.
It’s sometimes best to keep your opposing opinions to yourself if you feel like you will become bitter.
2. One thing leads to another
Resentment in relationships can cause one issue to lead to other ones. If you and your partner seem to have financial issues and you choose to make snarky remarks, this could lead to comparisons and degradation.
If you have one issue, you should address this concern first before mixing it with other situations. It’s never healthy to fight two battles at once or one which can bleed over into other areas of your life.
The negative power that unforgiveness has can fuel decades of neglect. There have been many couples or family members who have lost contact with each other due to this toxic choice of action. Forgiveness is vital in any relationship.
As a matter of fact, it is the single most important thing that saves a troubled relationship. Your life can end up in shambles if you are unable to forgive your loved ones.
4. Passion will be gone
That passion that you once had for each other will be doused in the bitter waters of resentment. We all know that fighting in a relationship is normal, even healthy, but some fights never end, they just transform from one failure to the next.
What do you think that does to intimacy? Passion will die eventually if every offense is collected and saved for later inspection. Instead of forgiveness, resentment in relationships will fuel the emotions and drive love away.
5. Lack of resolution
Resentment not only causes anger and lack of passion in your relationships but also leads to a dead end. If communication outlets are not healthy, then there will be no resolution to certain issues.
You cannot sweep things under the rug and expect them to get better, therefore, lack of resolution will increase feelings of resentment until, ultimately, the relationship is destroyed. Going further, even other aspects of life may be destroyed due to your inability to face your problems and find solutions.
6. Trust is dead
If you have allowed resentment to settle into your relationship, then it will be hard to trust your partner or yourself. First of all, you won’t feel comfortable with priorities, say because your partner failed you in that aspect.
Maybe your partner was unfaithful, which definitely causes distrust. Yes, your entire world can be reshaped due to things such as this, and that is why loyalty is so important. Without loyalty, resentment, which kills trust, is sure to occur and create all sorts of misfortune.
7. Public humiliation
This sort of behavior is one of the most cold-blooded symptoms of resentment. Calling your partner names, talking about their shortcomings with friends, or shaming them in public can ruin you and your partner, and vice versa.
Whether you are the victim or the tormentor, resentment can utilize this tactic to cause irreparable damage to your future and reputation. This sort of thing can also ruin the lives of other family members and loved ones as well.
8. Substance abuse
I’m sorry, but at some point or the other, things can always lead you down the road of substance abuse. When you fight all the time with your partner and bitterness have long set in, you may resort to drinking or drug abuse. As you know, either by overdose, loss of friends, or divorce, substance abuse can ruin your life.
This is another way that resentment can destroy you. Once you have that deep hatred for your mate, you will easily commit adultery. Although humans are intelligent, for the most part, they still keep thinking that “the grass is greener on the other side”.
Maybe sometimes it is, but honestly, every one of us has negative qualities and running away from responsibility and chasing an illusion will never make us happy. Over time, we may find ourselves dealing with the same resentment from a different person.
Communication is the solution
Quite simply put: being able to communicate will help reduce resentment in your relationship, but keep in mind, this communication must be fair. If you learn to really listen to what your partner says, there will be little risk of falling into bitterness.
I hope the truth of these devastating consequences helps you have patience and practice love when trying to find a resolution. I wish you all the luck in the world.