If you’re feeling inferior, I’ve been there, I have an idea what that feels like. But, it’s time to stop and listen.
Do you want me to be blunt? Feeling inferior will kill your positive self-esteem. Do you want to know why? Well, sitting around comparing yourself with others is a never-ending cycle. Here’s the hard cold truth. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, and funnier than you.
It’s just the way it goes. But you know what, things change, people change and no one is perfect. One day you may be prettier than the girl that was prettier than you the last time you saw her. That’s another thing, beauty is different from person to person and society’s standards change, remember?
Every decade this past century had a different standard of beauty. It’s funny how that works. So, you gotta stop, you just gotta. I almost died from feeling inferior…on several occasions.
Feeling inferior makes you never good enough
Let me give you an example. In high school, and I know my classmates may read this but I don’t care, I felt inferior, and I compared myself with many people. I thought the cheerleaders were prettier than me, I absolutely hated this one girl that seemed to be in every picture in the yearbook, and I was relentlessly bullied. So, feeling inferior was something I brought home every day.
And the horrible part, the really bad part of all this – the same thing happened in my marriage and tries to drag me down EVEN NOW. My ex-husband made me feel inferior all the time. But I’ve learned things, and here’s how.
Ways to stop feeling unworthy
1. Using distractions
This technique is actually for those who do not have a severe inferiority complex. When you start to think you’re not good enough, go do something. Try out a new recipe, go for a run with a friend, or work on that art project you’ve been talking about with others.
When you start doing things instead of thinking too much, and this is the core of inferiority, by the way, you will notice you have fewer instances of putting yourself down or allowing other people to do so and believe me, they will try.
2. Try logic for a while
Okay, I know I’m not the only woman who goes online and sees these perfect women with beautiful faces and bodies. I used to be on Instagram, and that’s one of the worst places to be if you are obsessively comparing yourself – get away from there.
Anyway, let’s step back and use logic about all these selfies, models, twerking… whatever you want to call them, there’s no love lost there, and focus on the truth.
Your down days may look a bit worse to others than someone online with layers of makeup, photoshopped images, injections, implants, and fake hair. I hate doing this judgemental thing, but honestly, most of the things online are fake, and many people are being fooled.
Hey, it’s the same way with men too. Don’t think they aren’t using their best days to be in the spotlight. So, use a logical train of thought. You are beautiful the way you are. If that’s natural, then fine, if you want to dress up or wear makeup, that’s fine too.
Just stop comparing yourself to so-called “perfect” people. And stop trying to look like them, you will not win, unless of course, you join the fake club. They are fake, that’s why they’re so good at it. 🙂 They’re con artists!
3. Treat yourself well
When those insecure thoughts come, it’s okay to be sad, but don’t let yourself go. Yes, you can stay natural with your looks, but don’t starve yourself, or try to compete with some other person, as I stated above. Instead, do good things for yourself, like buy a shirt you’ve been wanting, spend time with those who don’t make you feel insecure, and just do what makes you truly happy.
I don’t mean the happy that revolves around someone else. I mean the happy by yourself. Spend time alone and enjoy this time with yourself. You are amazing.
4. Be grateful and give thanks
You know what, there are other people, whether you’re a woman or a man, who wishes they were you. They feel insecure too and even may wish they had your natural beauty or your good hair. So, instead of being jealous of some kid giving duck lip selfies on Facebook, appreciate your maturity and the wonderful things you bring to the table.
Trust me, eventually, the world will change again, and something else will be all the rage. I sure hope so. So give thanks for yourself, and be grateful you are healthy, alive, or successful. If you’re breathing, give thanks.
5. Fix your mistakes
Now, sometimes you feel inferior because you’ve done something wrong. I get that. Maybe you’ve hurt someone really bad emotionally, and you want to make amends, but you’re feeling so inferior to them that it’s hard to do. Well, the truth is hard as well.
You’re going to have to apologize and fix what needs to be repaired. You see, forgiveness will remove that inferior spirit from around you and set you free. If you don’t get a spoken apology, that’s okay too. Just know that you did your part in making things right again. Accept it, and let it go.
6. Stop looking
If you’re comparing yourself to celebrities or even local people that you secretly want to be, stop! There is another way you repair your confidence and stop comparisons. Sometimes, it’s possible to remove yourself from where these triggers are.
If you’re constantly looking at celebrity magazines, stop doing that, and never do it again until you know you’re healed. If local people make you feel inferior with their looks, just find a reason to get away from them, just for now.
This last part is only temporary because eventually, you’re going to have to face whoever you encounter on the street or in stores….so, don’t latch on too tight to this one. You should also limit your social site involvement. Social sites can destroy self-esteem if you let them.
7. Deflect those insults
Other people will insult you at some point in your life. They may call you horrible words like “ugly” or “fat”. They may even openly compare you with others in a negative way. I know these instances are almost impossible to bear, but start practicing the art of walking away.
Don’t give insult for insult because you’re going to practice and practice until you know these things are not you. You are not a label. Here’s a secret, most people who insult you actually feel insecure about themselves as well.
You are beautiful, wonderful, and worthy
Hey listen, I know how it feels because I used to lose weight to please a boyfriend. I used to dress up to compete with other girls he was looking at. But the truth is, HE was the problem and I should have known I was good enough, and I should have told him that too.
This is for men and women. If you’re feeling insecure and you’re comparing yourself, you have to stop. I know it’s hard, and sometimes I still struggle with this issue. Remember, every one of us has something to offer, they’re just different qualities. Also, remember just how fake some people have to be in order to have so much attention and almost worshipped.
So, let them do their thing and you do yours. Most importantly, love yourself. You are the best you and that’s all that matters.
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