Broken trust is difficult to heal and has irreversible effects on a relationship. Is it possible to restore it and give your partner a second chance?
All this while, you thought you were in a happy relationship. Things were great until you learned that your partner was cheating on you. Suddenly, your world came crashing down and you were filled with all sorts of emotions ranging from hurt and pain to anger and shame.
This is what broken trust does. Knowing that you have been betrayed is a horrible feeling. In a second, it makes you question your partner, yourself and the relation you shared. It hits you hard, destroys all the trust you ever had and leaves you wondering if you will ever be able to trust again.
Being one of the most integral elements of a healthy relationship, trust is what holds people together and once broken, can cause irreversible damage.
Here is how broken trust impacts relationships.
Anxiety:
Imagine being in a constant state of anxiety with regards to your partner. From questioning their whereabouts to getting suspicious about everything they do – it is a heart-wrenching space to be in because you are never at peace. This is the price of broken trust.
Every time you think of looking past the elephant in the room, your thoughts drag you back into that zone and nothing seems to help. All of this leads to emotional turmoil which takes a toll on your physical and mental health.
Insecurity:
As they say, “once bitten, twice shy” – that is exactly what takes over when one is betrayed. Insecurity creeps in and makes you question even the most mundane activities. It’s common to feel insecure after one’s trust has been broken.
After all, how can you feel safe in the presence of someone who let you down and broke your trust? If left unaddressed, insecurity can lead to a controlling and destructive behavior such as possessiveness and can even, drive the other person away.
Self-Doubt:
Set aside the anger one experiences towards their partner; broken trust hugely impacts one’s self-esteem and confidence too. You tend to attach your self-worth to the incident and start feeling that you aren’t good enough.
Instead of blaming your partner for cheating, you take it upon yourself and punish yourself for being cheated on! Remember that your partner’s actions have got nothing to do with your self-worth. So, practice self-love and do not let it shatter your confidence because it is certainly not your fault.
Reduced Intimacy:
In order to be physically and emotionally intimate with your partner, you both need to share a healthy relationship and be comfortable with each other. However, in a situation when you have been cheated on, the intimacy you share is bound to be hit.
It gets difficult to share the same space with someone who broke your trust and not look at him/her differently. This does have a detrimental effect on your relationship which just tends to push you farther away from your partner.
Toxic Shame:
If there’s a recurring emotion that both the parties face during such times, it is shame. While it’s quite understandable why the cheating partner feels shameful, even the other person is equally ashamed for being in such a situation.
Having been cheated on, they feel inadequate and not worthy enough. This feeling of toxic shame spreads like wildfire and wrecks every aspect of their life. At many instances, people alienate themselves and get into a shell out of sheer embarrassment which creates havoc in their personal and social lives.
Couples deal with infidelity and betrayal differently. While there are some who immediately call it quits, there are others who decide to forgive their partners and give them a second chance.
Well, going with the latter option no easy feat as one cannot expect to spring back to normalcy immediately. Rebuilding trust takes time, effort and patience.
Here are 4 ways you can restore broken trust and give your relationship another go.
1. Forgive:
Giving your partner a second chance needs to begin with forgiving them. You need to free yourself from the pent up anger and resentment – that’s the only way you can truly move on.
Forgiving someone for breaking your trust is one of the toughest things to do but if you have decided that you want to focus on improving your relationship, forgiveness is key. However, don’t force yourself into it.
Experience your emotions fully, give yourself time and allow yourself to reach a place where you are able to forgive your partner.
2. Healthy Communication:
Open communication is extremely essential for a relationship to thrive and flourish. Yes, there were some mistakes made in the past but it’s important to talk it out and maintain complete transparency this time around.
Both of you need to be honest about your feelings and always make it a point to address your concerns and insecurities. Communication also involves listening to what your partner has to say and knowing how to apologize whenever necessary.
3. Focus on the Present:
After all that you have been through, it sure is difficult to forget the past and move on. However, if you both have taken the decision to give yourselves another chance, stop bringing up the past and focus on improving your presence in order to have a better future together.
There will be times when you will correlate the present to what’s happened in the past – at such times, consciously stop yourself from doing that because what’s gone is gone. All you can do is focus on making today better.
4. Seek a Counsellor:
The stress and anxiety that comes with being cheated on are devastating. If you do want to make a genuine attempt at bettering relations, seeking help from a marriage counselor is a good idea.
Being so personally attached to the issue, getting a professional person’s point of view can give you clarity and help you and your partner navigate through these tiring times together.
So, don’t worry about what people think, if you feel you are dealing with a barrage of emotions and want to truly find a way out, the healthiest way to deal with it is seeking couples’ therapy.
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Author Bio: Adela Belin is the Head of Digital Marketing atWriters Per Hour. She creates content surrounding marketing with a focus on social media and digital marketing. Feel free to contact Adela onLinkedIn.
