Emotional cheating is more common in today’s world than you might realize. Moreover, you could be doing it yourself without even being aware of it.
Most people would agree that cheating is wrong and if you are kissing or in bed with someone that isn’t your partner, you know what you are doing. You may not have realised though, that it is possible to cheat on your partner without actually realising it. The type of cheating we are referring to is emotional cheating and you could be guilty of it, even if you aren’t aware.
What is Emotional Cheating?
Emotional cheating is something that is more common than you may have thought. Essentially, you are guilty of emotional cheating or having an emotional affair if you spend a lot of time and energy with another person whom you’d be attracted to if you weren’t in a relationship. Not only do you spend a lot of time and energy with that person, but when you are not with them you spend a lot of time thinking about them and speaking about them.
Although it is nice to have a close friendship outside of your relationship, it becomes unhealthy when that friendship becomes more important than your relationship. This can happen very subtly. Here are some signs you need to be aware of that mean you are emotionally cheating on your partner.
You Are Forced To Live Two Lives
When you are in the midst of an emotional affair, you are leading two separate lives. You will be trying to give time to your partner while trying to give time to your friend. Usually, people who have emotional affairs, have them with a friend that their partner doesn’t know. If that is the case, you have to then find time to spend with both of them and this will often end up with you neglecting one or other.
You also feel like you have the need to hide your texts, emails and other messages with your friend from your partner. It’s normal to want a degree of privacy, but not if it means you move heaven and earth to stop your partner from reading what you two are talking about.
You Confide In Them
Not only do you confide in the other person, but you tell them things you don’t even tell your partner. The person you are having an emotional affair with gets to see a different side to you that your partner doesn’t. Perhaps it’s the real you, the way you feel deep inside – but, why can’t you share that with your partner?
You Will Go The Extra Mile To Spend Time With Them
It goes without saying that it requires a lot of serious scheduling and effort when you are in a relationship to try and spend time with friends. However, you are emotionally cheating if you are happy to spend even an hour in the morning before work or at the end of the day, with your friend. Even if you are tired or it is completely out of the blue.
You Don’t Realise The Time
When you are with the person you are having an emotional affair with, time seems to fly by. You can spend hours messing around with them on Skype Gchat or Facebook messenger, not realising that you are behind on your work. Worse still, when you are meant to be home spending time with your partner, you are glued to your phone because your friend is texting.
You Speak To Each Other At Weird Times
Following on from the above point, a sure-fire sign that you are in an emotional affair is if you or your friend contact each other at odd times. Times outside of what is considered normal friendship time. Early morning texts, late night phone calls and if you are on the edge of your seat waiting for their replies – these are not good signs.
You Sexually Banter Or Flirt With Them
Although emotional affairs start fairly innocently and within the normal parameters of a friendship, it is a problem when they start to move beyond that. If you find you are comfortable and always looking for a way to lightly flirt with your friend, perhaps chalking it up to banter.
If you take pictures of yourself dressed up for a date with your partner or trying on a new outfit, for their ‘opinion’ – it is more likely that you are pushing the boundaries and want a reaction from them. Not just a friendly reaction either.
You Mention Them A Lot When You Are With Your Partner
You probably don’t realise it, but if you are always talking about what your friend did, about funny situations they were in, weird thoughts they had or their relationships with your partner, this is not a particularly good sign. When you do realise you are doing it, you feel bad that you have already mentioned them four times before lunchtime. These are all signs that there is more to your friendship than you are letting on.
As you can see there are many ways to tell if you are cheating on your partner emotionally, that you may not have realised. If any of the above rings true about a friendship you have, you need to tread carefully and even consider ending the friendship. Ask yourself what is important in your life – your friendship or your relationship?
By Valerie S.