Compliments are nice, but what if they come from a jealous person? Learn how to take a compliment from a fake person without being mean.
Being told that you are beautiful or intelligent feels good. I know it’s nice for me. There comes a time, however, when compliments start to seem like backhanded comments. This is because these “compliments” aren’t nice words at all – they are carefully crafted insults. They come from fake people, and you can learn how to take a compliment in this manner just as effectively as when you accept all those nice words.
How to take a compliment from a fake person
You will know the compliment is false because of the accompanying criticism. Fake people or people who are jealous often compliment and then hint that you can do better.
If you can catch these little inconsistencies, you will understand the nature of your compliments. When you recognize a fake word, then you can respond in a way of your choosing, like this:
1. Accept the good
Acknowledge the positive portion of the compliment. This helps you maintain the upper hand during the exchange. If you receive a compliment followed by an insult, then all you need to acknowledge is the compliment and nothing more.
This shows them that you know what they are doing, and makes them think twice before using this backhanded approach with others. You help yourself stay focused and reduce the risk of others getting fake compliments as well.
2. Keep it simple
Whether your compliment is true or false, keep your response simple. This leaves the followup to them. Now, listen carefully to how your “friend” responds to the thanks you gave them. If they are jealous of you, then, when you thank them, they will respond with something that you “however” need to improve upon.
Your response with a “thank you” surprised them, so they had to keep the conversation going. If their compliment turns into a criticism in this manner, just walk away. Your thanks are enough and you can retain your dignity in this manner.
3. Give in to the charity
Sometimes people give out fake compliments when they wish to receive one for themselves. For instance, if your “friend” or associate looks like they’ve had a makeover and suddenly they compliment your appearance, know that they are fishing for a compliment for themselves.
This is an easy one to respond to. Just give them the compliment that they so desperately crave. It’s kind, it’s simple, and it saves your time. This is not the opportunity to play “shrink” and solve their vanity problems or low self-esteem issues, one of which they obviously have.
4. Return the snarky compliment
Sometimes people hand out compliments which mask something evil that they wish to say. For instance, this comment is full of evil intent, “You have a beautiful personality. You look good for your age too.” Now, I guess this seems harmless, right?
But read between the lines. Making a point to compliment the personality deliberately downplays the physical attraction. Saying someone looks good for their age also says they look old. To respond to a compliment like this, you can ignore it, sure.
You can also return tit for tat and create a carefully hidden insult within a compliment yourself. I’m not advocating being rude, just offering another option to keep you from feeling hurt.
5. Don’t be fooled
If someone is interested in getting better acquainted, say someone of the opposite sex wants to be intimate, then they will give what’s called “over-the-top” compliments which are also fake. When this happens, you may feel cheap, insulted, or you might even fall into the trap.
It’s easy to accept and enjoy compliments about your beauty but isn’t smart to fall prey to someone who wants more than to compliment you. Be smart, take the compliment at face value and say “thank you”.
Do not make decisions based on empty compliments designed to control your behavior.
6. Address the issue
Learning how to take a compliment from a jealous person also takes courage. You actually don’t have to take it at all. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself and let them know that you were offended.
If a friend insults you in a covert manner, make sure they know you don’t appreciate the comment. If you’re shocked, then wait until later. Either way, if you think it must be addressed, by all means, take control back.
7. Just laugh it off
Nothing irritates an envious person quite as much as laughing at them. If they insult you, why should you feel offended at all? Remember, when someone is mean to you, it’s their problem that shows through, not yours.
If you’ve been promoted, you deserve a real compliment. Laughing away an insult is a great way to show the offender for who they really are.
How to take a compliment that is real
Now that you know a few ways to respond to fake compliments, what do you think? How should you deal with real compliments? Well, a real compliment is from the heart, and you should definitely be thankful for those words.
The best thing to do is accept a real compliment and try to notice when others succeed and try to better themselves. They too deserve true compliments from those who care.
If you notice something different about a friend or coworker, make sure you let them know. If you appreciate family or friends, also show your admiration. The world is a tough place and we need all the love we can get! Be strong, and be genuine!
By Sherrie H.