Are you frightened of offending your partner? Are you unexpectedly quiet and reserved when he or she is around?
A manipulative or abusive relationship can run you ragged both physically and emotionally. If you have such a partner, you will want to leave the relationship as early as possible. However, romantic involvement can make you oblivious to controlling behavior. Controlling personalities have ways to mask their conduct.
So, how would you know when your partner has you wrapped too tightly around his or her little finger?
What is controlling behavior?
So, what exactly is controlling behavior? Individuals display it when they try to force others to do things their way. They assert their power because they are afraid that people will spot their weaknesses.
Hence, they make unreasonable demands that keep their spouses or family members off-center. Their rationale is to do their best to make others listen to them.
The Causes of Controlling Behavior
Controlling behavior, according to experts, has its roots in the ego(self). A person may want to exert control over others because he or she has a poorly developed sense of self.
The ego decides our individuality, so it leads people to feel unique. The need for safety drives it, so it may cause people to become controlling for self-protection.
Individuals may display controlling behaviors because their parents neglected them. It is their way of integrating themselves with society; they feel that others can fulfill their needs.
10 Controlling Behaviors to Look Out For in a Relationship
You may sense that your partner is showing controlling behavior, but you need confirmation. These acts point to someone who fears to lose his or her authority over others.
1. Preventing you from meeting others
Manipulative people, first of all, will want your complete attention. If your partner expresses unhappiness about you meeting your friends or family excessively, he or she is probably controlling.
Because of their innate jealousy, they may keep you under surveillance with actions like tracking your internet history. They may lack boundaries and not have respect for your time alone.
2. Constant Criticism
The next trait of controlling people is a highly critical nature. Note that they use criticism as a means of feeling above others. They do not value others as equals.
Threats are not necessarily physical in nature. Manipulative people may threaten to cut off privileges so as to bind you to them. You may feel that you have no say in matters.
Also, they may make their love for you conditional. A dominant personality may say something like, ‘If you buy me this perfume, I will take you out for dinner tomorrow.’
4. Keeping score
Next, controlling people are fond of keeping score. They may mention the favors they did for you to get some in return. It is their way of getting the upper hand and reminding you that you do not measure up to them.
Also, controlling people have a way of making you feel guilty. Again, is their way of suppressing others. If they can keep you feeling guilty about your mistakes, you are forever in their debt. They will find ways to make you earn their trust.
Note that a controlling person presumes that you are guilty even if you are innocent. They may keep ‘evidence’ of your wrongdoings so as to put you on a guilt trip.
And then, a person who shows controlling behavior is argumentative. He or she is always sourcing for a conflict. This person wants to make you so tired of challenging their logic that you will stop.
7. Belittling your beliefs
Controlling people have a way of making you feel as though you do not match up to them. Their teasing has an uncomfortable undercurrent. A manipulative partner will want you to feel unworthy, so he or she will put down your beliefs and values. It is a way of assuming superiority.
8. Upsetting Intimacy
Problematic relations may carry over into the bedroom. You may feel uncomfortable because your partner is taking charge of the intimate interactions between you. You may feel physically intimidated during intimacy.
9. Encouraging unhealthy behaviors
Controlling people may stand in the way of your fitness goals because they do not want you to look better than they do. They may encourage unhealthy behaviors, like substance abuse.
10. Challenging educational goals
Finally, controlling people may question your education or professional goals. Again, this is because they do not want your qualifications to surpass theirs. They will instill self-doubt when possible.
In conclusion, if you recognize the signs of controlling behavior, do take steps to manage them.
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This Post Has 6 Comments
When she leaves a text message that says, ” If you don’t bring some food and groceries home to this apartment by 3:00 PM, you can go pay for a motel room instead of staying here “. Is that being a little too nasty and controlling ? Especially if food is not a problem ?
Or how about if she objects to you spending time with friends, and wants you all to herself ? A friend once wanted me to go to New York City for the New Year’s ball drop. She snatched the phone away from me and then told him, ” Chris is not going. End of conversation. ” She then hit the hang-up button to terminate the call. Is that a red flag of a potentially bad partner ?
She was also very mean in wanting to rub my nose in her engagement and upcoming marriage to someone else. I found this to be somewhat odd and abusive. She suggested that I get into my car and drive over a thousand miles to come and visit her as nothing but a friend while engaged to marry someone else.
She then later denied being so mean to me, claiming that she has always tried to be nice to me. She even said that I was blaming her for everything.
How evil and mean can some women get ?
Many women are masters of the art of controlling behaviour, and society has turned a blind eye to their actions. However, ‘Controlling Behaviour’ was introduced as a new criminal offence on 29 December 2015 in the UK.