Friends who use you aren’t true friends at all. So, how do you recognize those who pretend to care about your friendship?

Oh, the mystery of friendship, isn’t it strange? I think so, what do you think? Have you come across the type of friends who take advantage of you? I know I have. Listen, there is true friendship and there is something I like to call an association.

Being associated with someone is entirely different from being friends with them. In our mixed-up world today, it’s so hard to recognize the ones who truly care. Those who don’t care are noticed when they let their guard down. You might be able to see the truth come through if you watch closely enough.

Recognizing friends who use you

The friends who take advantage of you are recognizable by their words and actions. Unlike true friends, they’re rarely present through thick and thin. There will always be a limit, and you won’t be able to count on them in the smallest situations. So, how in the world do we get fooled by these friends? Well, to understand, let’s learn what type of friends they are.

1. The flake

There are many types of people, and this one is one of the friends who use you. A flaky person is someone who never seems to be there when you need them most. They say you can count on them, but just as soon as the words come out, they get flaky on those promised plans.

They’re big on saying “I promise” as well. I think this promise makes it even worse when realizing your friend is a flake.

2. The invalidator

There are friends who notice your feelings and care about them. Then there are friends who tell you to “suck it up” and get over what you’re feeling. Honestly, that type of friend isn’t real. Invalidation of feelings is cruel. It makes you feel like the person you love has abandoned your emotions.

It makes you also see the truth about who they are, they are selfish people who care more about other things than their loved ones.

3. The vampire

When I say “vampire” I don’t mean a blood-sucking monster from books and movies. I am talking about what’s called an “energy vampire”. There are types of friends who carry this name because of their ability to absolutely drain others of energy and feeling.

This type of friend will always talk about their negative situations and emotions, never really touching on any good in life. While you may have come to them in a positive mood, you will leave carrying a huge portion of their negativity. Afterward, they leave feeling light but you now feel heavy.

4. The compliment payer

Friends who use you often come to pay compliments. It doesn’t make sense at first, but saying good things about and to you will prepare you for what they will want later on. Now, don’t get me wrong, some friends just pay true compliments because they mean what they say. But some are using you.

For instance, if your friend is complimenting you more than usual, it could be because they need money or want something else. If you pay close attention, you can tell the difference.

5. The copier

While I’m not completely sure why this type of friend likes to copy things, it’s apparent they aren’t happy with their own originality. They are also using you for their own purpose. Have you ever had a friend who bought the same clothes or accessories when they saw these items on you?

Well, they could be inspired by you, or they could be trying to steal your style for their own. If they are stealing your look, they will probably tell others it was their idea to dress the way they do. They’ve used you to create a false rendition of themselves.

6. The spotlight

This friend is all about themselves and about drawing attention to their accomplishments. They may even talk extensively about their problems, in which they take no blame. When you start to talk, they will push the conversation back to them again. As far as friends who use you go, it’s clear to see that you become their sounding board.

Don’t let your friends use you

No more friends who use you

Now that you know which friends to avoid, you should understand which ones you can trust. The hard part about this information is there are no hard set rules to describe a true friend. I do know that true friends are loyal, kind, and are just as interested in what you have to say as listening to their own voice.

True friends will try their hardest to be there when you need them and never downplay your grief. Your feelings are important to a true friend. So, I ask you to take an inventory of your acquaintance and friends. Weed out the ones you know are only there for their own benefit.

Remember, it’s not about how many friends you have, but the quality of the friends you have. Be a good friend and recognize other good people. This is how you build a positive network that will help you and your friends simultaneously.

I hope you find the best of true friends on your journey.



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This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Anna

    this article made me remember many of my old classmates they are exactly these kind

    1. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

      Most of my classmates were like this. I remember having the hardest time getting through school.

  2. jennifer

    this article is soo good and i always tell my kids to look out for this kind of people and also makes sure they don’t turn up like them

    1. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

      It is so important to teach our children to be authentic. If you do this as early as possible, they stand a greater chance of being authentic adults. Good job, Jennifer. Thank you for reading.

  3. carol

    i have dealt with a flake person and copy person but i think i just need to other types but they do teach us a life lesson

    1. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

      You can learn so much from fake people. You can learn exactly who you don’t want to be.

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