You may not know what an emotional vampire is, but you will probably recognize its constant grumbling.

Also, your energy will take a nose dive every time you meet one.

Emotional vampires, as the term suggests, suck the energy out of you. Some do so by surrounding you with their constant complaints, while others threaten your self-worth.

So, how can you tell if you’ have met one? What types of emotional vampires are there, and how do you protect yourself from them?

What is an Emotional Vampire?

Such people drain your emotional strength. Therefore, you become cynical, tired and depressed yourself. You will also feel worthless. Emotional vampires suck your life force by putting you down whenever they can. Feeling inferior when you are around them is the norm.

Signs of An Emotional Vampire

Emotional vampires have a knack for turning tables and making unpleasantness your fault. Therefore, spotting them isn’t that easy. Here are some signs that will help.

1. The ‘I, Me, My’ conversation

First of all, you will hardly get a word in when you talk to emotional vampires. Conversations revolve around them.

2. Poor listening skills

Emotional vampires seldom hear anything you have to say. Talks will return to them and their problems. They will also throw in meaningless comments that have nothing to do with conversations.

3. Self-absorption

Furthermore, these people have no empathy for others. They will speak harshly to anyone they meet. If people are late for lunch, they will criticize them without considering that the lateness was because they got into an accident.

4. Emotional Vampires have limited friendships

These people have few friends and commitments. Their lives are unfulfilling. Consequently, they try to fill them up by monopolizing your attention. They take up more time than your other friends.

5. Playing the victim

And then, emotional vampires love playing victims. They love throwing pity parties and blame their problems on others. It’s never their fault. Also, they will harp on the negative traits of others.

6. Emotional vampires love to control your time together

If you have friends who are emotional vampires, you will find yourself traveling to the places that they like. You will also find them calling when it’s difficult for you to talk. In all, you are the giver in the relationship.

7. Intense Frustration

Emotional vampires always feel frustrated about this, that or the other. Most of them have gone through life-changing situations which leave them depressed. While most people recover from setbacks, emotional vampires never do.

8. Feeling Drained

Finally, emotional vampires leave you feeling drained. You will find that the time you devote to them is never enough. You always feel worse after spending time with them.

5 Types of Emotional Vampires and How to Protect Yourself From Them

There are various kinds of emotional vampires, but they have one thing in common. All of them leave you feeling drained and out-of-sorts.

Annoying as their behaviors are, have some empathy for them. Many of them have gone through trying situations that are hard to recover from and will appreciate a leg up.

1. Narcissists

”I, Me, My’ is the motto of narcissists. These people need to feel admired, and have an over-the-top sense of self-importance. They do not empathize with others and are punishing when you do not do things their way.
The rule of thumb when relating to narcissists is not to have any expectations of them. They do not understand the meaning of reciprocation. So, do not share your deepest feelings with them.
It’s best to have professional or clinical relations with narcissists. They are responsive when they see how relationships can work to their advantage. Show them how connecting with you is beneficial.

2. The Victim

These emotional vampires love pity parties. They throw them or attend them. These people don’t want solutions to their problems because they feel comfortable in their rut. They meet every solution you offer with a ‘yes, but….’
Set boundaries with victims because they tend to monopolize your time. State that you will only speak with them when they are ready to discuss solutions in a rational manner. When they try to get your attention, say that you will talk to them later.

3. Controlling Personalities

You might recognize these souls. These characters want a say in everything you do. They will make everything you do seem silly or worthless. They have a flair for put-downs.
Don’t try to turn the situation around by wresting control from them. You manage controllers best by being confident and calmly assertive. Use words like, “I know where you are coming from, but I think this is what’s best for me at the moment.’

4. Drama Kings and Queens

These emotional vampires, of course, have a flair for the dramatic. They always seem to lose their keys or get into accidents. To relate to them, stay calm. That will keep you from getting caught up in the drama. Set limits. Say: “I’m sorry this happened to you, but I have to go. I know that you can manage.”

5. The Talker

Talkers do as their name suggests; they talk, you listen. You seldom get a word in when speaking with them. Also, they may attempt to lessen your physical space by closing in on you. Non-verbal cues are not enough to prevent controllers from trying to manipulate you. Instead, tell them your needs in a neutral, pleasant way.

Other Ways to Shield Yourself from Emotional Vampires

You may dread emotional vampires, but there are ways to protect yourself from them.

First of all, smile and send positivism their way. It not only disarms them but may improve their outlook, at least for a short time. Then, assure yourself of your worth. Don’t let them cause you to doubt yourself.

Another way to deal with the toxicity emotional vampires send your way is to meditate. It’s a way to calm down, refresh your spirit and cleanse your aura.

In all, if you identify emotional vampires in your life, shore up your defenses. Though you cannot avoid them, you can empathize with them and choose to stay upbeat.

Like what you are reading? Subscribe to our newsletter to make sure you don’t miss new life-advancing articles!

Copyright © 2014-2024 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

Leave a Reply