Why Empathic People Struggle With Romantic Relationships

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Let’s face it, everyone wants a soul mate. Empathic people, however, have a unique struggle in this area.

At birth, we started to utilize our emotions, and every single one of us were allotted the same amount. But there were variances, not in the types and quantities of these emotions, but in the way we feel them. For some of us, empathic people to be exact, our emotions react much stronger than others, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

What is an empath?

The empath is someone who understands the unique feelings of another individual. In fact, they feel the emotions as if these were their own, grieving, being jubilant or furious in relation to whatever their friend or loved one is going through. Clear as mud? Nah, it’s pretty simple, actually.

The empath can sense when something is wrong, even long before their partner is able to sense their own troubles. This is truly a fascinating, almost clairvoyant talent possessed by the empath.

Romance, what’s in the cards for the empath?

Empathic people have a rather difficult time when it comes to romantic relationships. I find it intriguing how two empaths with mental scars get together, for instance, and have a hard time getting past feeling one another’s hidden pains and issues, as with my situation sometimes.

I have literally spent three hours arguing with my empathic counterpart about how I knew something was wrong with him, only to have him say he knew I was upset with him….sigh, the compassion! Trust me, when two get together, it can be an endless “feeling fest”. But I’m not getting sidetracked with that today.

The real issue here is…

Do you want to know why empathic people have unique struggles? Here are a few examples of why you struggle to build a romantic relationship with your empathic soulmate. Try not to get an emotional sugar rush reading these things.

An empath will scare the crap out of you!

Okay, when I met Mr. Empathy, I was, at first, excited. Then a week later, I was freaking out. An empath, being so sure of what they are feeling, will express these feelings much faster than others. You see, others doubt, they second guess the feelings they have and try to understand them through various circumstances. The empath feels and then proclaims these emotions easily.

When he said he loved me, I thought he had lost his mind. After all, we were only together a week or two. This struggle is real because the empath knows what he is feeling and despite my fears of this strong admission, he has words that are secure in his heart. There is nothing and no one that can change his mind about how he feels. It’s fascinating, but this struggle can end romantic relationships before they even start….well, sometimes.

The empath is moody

A romantic relationship is made difficult by the moodiness of empathic people. Because there are such strong emotions involved with the empath, feelings of anger and happiness will be heightened, sometimes to the point of being out of control. On many occasions, the feelings coursing through the body and mind of the empath won’t even be their own.

They have managed to absorb a bit too much of their loved ones energies. This, in turn, can then be targeted back to the original owner. It seems unfair that blame should fall upon the empath due to their moody demeanor, but unfortunately, this is the case most times.

Inconsistency can cause additional struggles

Empaths really hate it when what you say doesn’t match what you do, or more importantly, what you feel, since empaths pick up on that stuff. So, even though I might be a little confused about my self-categorization, I must be, at least partially empathic because I hate when I have to call “bullshit” on friends and loved ones. I even cut to the chase now-a-days, and look them in the eye and say,

“I know you’re lying, so cut the crap!”

In romantic relationships, being as couples are in close quarters most of the time, they will pick up on every little blip or smudge on the surface of loyalty and honestly. Empathic people will call out your lie and make sure you are living consistently when it comes to your relationship. This can be hard to deal with on both sides.

Empaths can feel complacency

You know that plateau that’s reached at a certain point in the relationship, yeah, the empath senses it pretty quickly. There is a point during a new relationship where things start to taper off and settle in a sort of calm flat land, not that it’s gone bad or anything, it’s just leveled. An empath will notice this change right away and sometimes panic. They may even stir up a little trouble just to get the intensity back.

Opposite partners, not able to detect this leveling off, will find the empath strange for feeling this way, when in truth it’s a gift that’s gone slightly awry. Some empaths are able to see the change and accept it for what it really is, just a new level or milestone. Instead, some empathic people struggle with losing a bit of fire from the beginning of once intense relationship.

There is no giving up for the empath

Empaths do not like to break up, divorce or dissolve romantic relationships, even if sometimes this might be the best option. Empathic people always see potential in their mates, because they feel the deep frustration and hardships involved in a marriage or other union.

The struggle here is when empaths marry those who aren’t so in touch with their feelings, and when divorce is mentioned, parties will be at odds on what to do. As you know, the empath will want to hold it together no matter what. Now just imagine, there could be a more compatible partner out there for the empath, but they may never know because they keep trying to revive what’s lost.

Empaths hate being alone but love their own space

What a conundrum, I say, that empaths love having their own space but hate to be alone. Although this is a strange mindset, it makes sense if you analyze it correctly. The empath loves being in love and will spend loads of time cuddling and kissing, but when they need their space, you better let them have it.

An empath will become even more emotional if they cannot partake in important personal time, which makes sense. They need to energize and recuperate from life’s stressful decision-making and conflicts. My empath is strange, he loves intimacy and is clingy as all get out. But, when it comes to zoning out, I have to give him a day on his own, else the moody monster will surface.

They just aren’t taken seriously enough, are they?

The empath has some ideas that may seem far-fetched, but if you give them space and the benefit of the doubt, they will show you just how much their own word means to them. This can be a struggle in romantic relationships because, unfortunately, most people say things and only do about 40% of what they say.

We have become accustomed to only believing half or less than half of what people tell us, especially in romantic relationships. Ever heard your partner say, “I’m going to buy you a new coat.” Or “Let me write that story, I can write too.”, and not believed a single word of what they say because everyone who came before them talked big game and didn’t show up?

Okay, I know that was a mouthful, but do you get my drift? Well, the empath will tell you that they can do something, and they really can do that thing, and guess what, they will too! As for my empath, he bought me a nice coat, and, ahem, he really can write too. I bet it hurts when I don’t believe him.

Always take your empathic friend, family member, and most definitely romantic partner seriously. Empaths are beautiful and powerful people who can only add good things to your life. They will struggle, yes indeed they will, but they will also prevail over many adversities that others just couldn’t handle.

So why do empathic people suffer so much with romantic relationships, you may ask? It’s because the empath is the realest person you will ever meet and quite possible that knight in shiny armor you heard about as a child. In our messed-up world, this brings struggles for the pure at heart. There are other struggles for those who are empathic, but we can cover that on another day. For now, let’s focus a little on the positive aspects.

If you’re in love with an empath, better keep him. Just saying…

By Sherrie S.


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By |2017-11-18T15:22:29+00:00May 31st, 2017|Categories: Lifestyle, Relationships, Relationships & Social Life|Tags: , , , |9 Comments


  1. Mark November 21, 2017 at 10:12 pm - Reply

    Fantastic article..I am an Empath and everything you’ve written here describes me to a tee!!

  2. Emperor December 12, 2017 at 1:59 am - Reply

    Empaths can feel the emotions of others better than they can feel themselves.
    Great article though I feel as one myself he didn’t so much feel that love for you but more he knew you felt the exact same way about him but didn’t know when, where and how to say that he read it intuitively and that’s what spooks most. The how in gods name did you know the part. That’s the bit I called a bluff on because you felt it yourself and he knew.

  3. Stalin blaze January 29, 2018 at 8:24 am - Reply

    NO one was born as empath …Empaths learn and understand quickly..Most of them struggle in romantic relationship because they are deep love feeling and they see all in love and they feel they can change this world by love and peace ..love can attract everything so narcissistic people attracted too, empathy of a emphatic people trying to change they but most of the narcissistic won’t change ever

  4. Teapot March 6, 2018 at 10:43 am - Reply

    That’s really very accurate. I want just to add a comment about ‘finding the more compatible partner. Empaths don’t care about this. They are those rare romantic people who believe that the only right way is to follow their heart. They want to be with those they love. They are not seeking for comfort. This is not the main thing for them. The main thing is love, the truth and being loyal to their own heart. Empaths don’t need a relationship in the name of the relationship.

    This is a hard path in the society where unconditional romantic love can be seeing almost as a mental disorder. Lots of people love to watch beautiful love melodrama movies..But when they meet something that intense in real life, they often freak out and don’t know how to deal with this. But for an empath, there is no line between reality and those films… They believe that the true love is exactly like this and for them it really feels that way.

  5. Sunkanmi March 7, 2018 at 4:15 am - Reply

    Thanks for these words sis, indeed they bear truth.

  6. Maru March 18, 2018 at 8:37 am - Reply

    I am dating a Empath now for the last 4 weeks (well 32 days but who is counting) From the moment we started messaging i felt something inside my soul that i had never felt before..it was like a thousand butterflies had entered my body with viles of adrenaline!
    She explained to me on the first messaging day she is an Empath (i had to google this) So i figured that was why i felt the way i do like never before.
    This Angelic lady has the most beautiful mind and soul, it was 3 weeks before we physically met but when we did im sure a parts of my soul left my body and transferred to her.
    Understanding an Empath persons gift hasn’t been that difficult probably because im a laid back calm loving individual however after reading this article their are a couple of things i need to remember one of those is….when she needs to recharge leave her be (actually learnt that one yesterday)
    My Anglelic Lady is actually the mose realest person have ever met, by letting time take its natural course hopefully her heart will uncage itself to me.
    Just thought I’d share 🙂
    Great article BTW.

  7. Amber March 28, 2018 at 6:56 pm - Reply

    I don’t feel like I am the realest person ever, but that may be my modesty showing! Lol!
    I actually am so frustrated with my relationships anymore that I found this article researching this morning. I heavily identify with it. Especially feeling complacency, and I don’t intend to stir up trouble, but I do because I freak out when I feel that!
    All in all, I feel 😉 that the best decision for me may be to be by myself. I don’t really know others strongly like me and my current partner and all others have had an extremely hard time understanding. Thank you for the boost today, I needed that ❤

  8. Karen April 14, 2018 at 12:59 pm - Reply

    This article Truly resonates with me. I’m struggling to understand if after a spouse of an empath has an affair and both have worked though the affair and both have worked though the situation, if it’s possible to have absorbed the energy of the “other person”? Is this possible and could it be a reason for past thoughts and visions of the “other person” would continue to resurface every now and then?

  9. Sam August 15, 2018 at 5:20 am - Reply

    Yup! This is me!!!!!!!!!! Wow. The one thing that really sticks out is liking my separate space but I do not want to be alone. For me, I do not want to be lonely. This is probably why I live with my husband who we are separated or live separate lives. It works for me. I can get my alone time and not connected romantically or emotional to him and raise our kid. On top of that, he has narcissistic tendencies. Everything else is on point. I do struggle with people be liars and I call it out all the time. I have to realize people are not like me at all. I really thought most people were honest people but I have to understand people have chaotic lives; I tend to feel things and if it off then I will fix the problem right away. Certain people will say things and not do them- I just have to work on not getting offended. I really do want to be in love it can be so hard when I know that person is lying or I know something about them that they do not know yet. I dislike that I can see things others can not see. I know it is a gift but sometimes I just want to be like everyone else.

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