Let’s face it, everyone wants a soul mate. Empathic people, however, have a unique struggle in this area.
At birth, we started to utilize our emotions, and every single one of us were allotted the same amount. But there were variances, not in the types and quantities of these emotions, but in the way we feel them. For some of us, empathic people to be exact, our emotions react much stronger than others, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
What is an empath?
The empath is someone who understands the unique feelings of another individual. In fact, they feel the emotions as if these were their own, grieving, being jubilant or furious in relation to whatever their friend or loved one is going through. Clear as mud? Nah, it’s pretty simple, actually.
The empath can sense when something is wrong, even long before their partner is able to sense their own troubles. This is truly a fascinating, almost clairvoyant talent possessed by the empath.
Romance, what’s in the cards for the empath?
Empathic people have a rather difficult time when it comes to romantic relationships. I find it intriguing how two empaths with mental scars get together, for instance, and have a hard time getting past feeling one another’s hidden pains and issues, as with my situation sometimes.
I have literally spent three hours arguing with my empathic counterpart about how I knew something was wrong with him, only to have him say he knew I was upset with him….sigh, the compassion! Trust me, when two get together, it can be an endless “feeling fest”. But I’m not getting sidetracked with that today.
The real issue here is…
Do you want to know why empathic people have unique struggles? Here are a few examples of why you struggle to build a romantic relationship with your empathic soulmate. Try not to get an emotional sugar rush reading these things.
An empath will scare the crap out of you!
Okay, when I met Mr. Empathy, I was, at first, excited. Then a week later, I was freaking out. An empath, being so sure of what they are feeling, will express these feelings much faster than others. You see, others doubt, they second guess the feelings they have and try to understand them through various circumstances. The empath feels and then proclaims these emotions easily.
When he said he loved me, I thought he had lost his mind. After all, we were only together a week or two. This struggle is real because the empath knows what he is feeling and despite my fears of this strong admission, he has words that are secure in his heart. There is nothing and no one that can change his mind about how he feels. It’s fascinating, but this struggle can end romantic relationships before they even start….well, sometimes.
The empath is moody
A romantic relationship is made difficult by the moodiness of empathic people. Because there are such strong emotions involved with the empath, feelings of anger and happiness will be heightened, sometimes to the point of being out of control. On many occasions, the feelings coursing through the body and mind of the empath won’t even be their own.
They have managed to absorb a bit too much of their loved ones energies. This, in turn, can then be targeted back to the original owner. It seems unfair that blame should fall upon the empath due to their moody demeanor, but unfortunately, this is the case most times.
Inconsistency can cause additional struggles
Empaths really hate it when what you say doesn’t match what you do, or more importantly, what you feel, since empaths pick up on that stuff. So, even though I might be a little confused about my self-categorization, I must be, at least partially empathic because I hate when I have to call “bullshit” on friends and loved ones. I even cut to the chase now-a-days, and look them in the eye and say,
“I know you’re lying, so cut the crap!”
In romantic relationships, being as couples are in close quarters most of the time, they will pick up on every little blip or smudge on the surface of loyalty and honestly. Empathic people will call out your lie and make sure you are living consistently when it comes to your relationship. This can be hard to deal with on both sides.
Empaths can feel complacency
You know that plateau that’s reached at a certain point in the relationship, yeah, the empath senses it pretty quickly. There is a point during a new relationship where things start to taper off and settle in a sort of calm flat land, not that it’s gone bad or anything, it’s just leveled. An empath will notice this change right away and sometimes panic. They may even stir up a little trouble just to get the intensity back.
Opposite partners, not able to detect this leveling off, will find the empath strange for feeling this way, when in truth it’s a gift that’s gone slightly awry. Some empaths are able to see the change and accept it for what it really is, just a new level or milestone. Instead, some empathic people struggle with losing a bit of fire from the beginning of once intense relationship.
There is no giving up for the empath
Empaths do not like to break up, divorce or dissolve romantic relationships, even if sometimes this might be the best option. Empathic people always see potential in their mates, because they feel the deep frustration and hardships involved in a marriage or other union.
The struggle here is when empaths marry those who aren’t so in touch with their feelings, and when divorce is mentioned, parties will be at odds on what to do. As you know, the empath will want to hold it together no matter what. Now just imagine, there could be a more compatible partner out there for the empath, but they may never know because they keep trying to revive what’s lost.
Empaths hate being alone but love their own space
What a conundrum, I say, that empaths love having their own space but hate to be alone. Although this is a strange mindset, it makes sense if you analyze it correctly. The empath loves being in love and will spend loads of time cuddling and kissing, but when they need their space, you better let them have it.
An empath will become even more emotional if they cannot partake in important personal time, which makes sense. They need to energize and recuperate from life’s stressful decision-making and conflicts. My empath is strange, he loves intimacy and is clingy as all get out. But, when it comes to zoning out, I have to give him a day on his own, else the moody monster will surface.
They just aren’t taken seriously enough, are they?
The empath has some ideas that may seem far-fetched, but if you give them space and the benefit of the doubt, they will show you just how much their own word means to them. This can be a struggle in romantic relationships because, unfortunately, most people say things and only do about 40% of what they say.
We have become accustomed to only believing half or less than half of what people tell us, especially in romantic relationships. Ever heard your partner say, “I’m going to buy you a new coat.” Or “Let me write that story, I can write too.”, and not believed a single word of what they say because everyone who came before them talked big game and didn’t show up?
Okay, I know that was a mouthful, but do you get my drift? Well, the empath will tell you that they can do something, and they really can do that thing, and guess what, they will too! As for my empath, he bought me a nice coat, and, ahem, he really can write too. I bet it hurts when I don’t believe him.
Always take your empathic friend, family member, and most definitely romantic partner seriously. Empaths are beautiful and powerful people who can only add good things to your life. They will struggle, yes indeed they will, but they will also prevail over many adversities that others just couldn’t handle.
So why do empathic people suffer so much with romantic relationships, you may ask? It’s because the empath is the realest person you will ever meet and quite possible that knight in shiny armor you heard about as a child. In our messed-up world, this brings struggles for the pure at heart. There are other struggles for those who are empathic, but we can cover that on another day. For now, let’s focus a little on the positive aspects.
If you’re in love with an empath, better keep him. Just saying…
By Sherrie S.
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