Clingy people are not always easy to deal with, it can be hard to know exactly what constitutes clingy and hard to deal with it.

No one wants to be the clingy one in a relationship, nor do they want to deal with clingy people. It can be hard to know what to do or how to deal with clingy people. Sometimes because we may not realize someone is clingy before it is too late. Sometimes it’s because we aren’t sure what to do when it is too late.

The key is being sensitive to the needs of others whilst making sure to make your boundaries clear. This can be a difficult balance to strike but, luckily, we are here to help.

Clinginess has a lot to do with how people feel about themselves. Generally, it is because they are insecure in themselves and this causes them to seek reassurance in others. Although this may help them feel more secure, it can encroach on your freedom and make you uncomfortable.

1. They are constantly in contact

At the beginning of a relationship, it’s natural to spend a lot of time together. When you’re not together, you spend a lot of time talking on the phone and texting.  This, however, usually tends to trail off as real life sets back in. Clingy people don’t let that happen. When you aren’t together, they will keep texting and calling, even if they know you are busy. This may get worse if you don’t respond.

How to deal with it:

Let your partner know when you will be able to respond to their messages and calls, and when you will give them your attention. Making your boundaries clear and sticking to them is the key. If this behavior continues, it’s important to know that this behavior is not normal. It is important that your needs are met and if they aren’t, a frank conversation needs to be had.

2. They come to all events without fail and don’t always need an invitation

Everyone needs time with friends and family without their partner. It allows you time to unwind and relax. Moreover, your partner may really dislike it when you go out without them. This is more than just uncomfortable, it may cause outright arguments.

When your partner is clingy, this may seem like an impossible concept to you. Your partner may not even feel the need to be invited to turn up. This can be annoying and can become a strain on other relationships in your life.

How to deal with it:

Unfortunately, the best way to deal with situations like this is to have a very frank and honest conversation. If they are making you uncomfortable, they need to be told this.  If others are commenting on the fact that they don’t see you without your partner, discuss this. You may feel guilty that they are anxious without you, but it is not your job to make them feel better when you’ve done nothing to lose their trust.

3. They don’t seem to have friends of their own

If you’ve noticed that your partner has slowly stopped hanging out with and mentioning their friends, this is a warning sign. A lot of couples converge their friendship groups, but it’s important to maintain them. Keeping your own friends gives you the opportunity to spend time away from your partner. When your partner gets too close to your friends, you may not be able to find this space.

How to deal with it:



Encourage your partner to spend time with their own friends and gently let them know that you will be spending time with yours alone.  Boundaries and clarity are key.  If they can’t accept this, this is a red flag.

4. Coworkers and friends are a cause of friction

If your friends and coworkers (especially the attractive ones) are a source of conflict, this may be a sign of a clingy partner. If your partner has no reason to distrust you but still does, this can be a constant source of conflict in a relationship. This can come from constant checking up on you, strange questions about the person in question, or outright jealousy.

How to deal with it:

Patience and understanding can help in these situations, giving your partner enough reassurance that nothing is going on.  However, this can only go so far.  If you feel as though you are constantly defending yourself, you need to let your partner know how you feel.  They may not realize what they are doing because they are feeling insecure.  It is not up to you to fix how they feel, but you can try to be understanding.

5. They question you about social media

Another classic source of contention in relationships is social media. Maybe they’ve picked out a certain person, or maybe social media, in general, is an issue.  Your partner might ask weird questions about how you know someone or who is in a photo. Monitoring and questioning you about your social media is not normal behavior.

How to deal with it:



If you are uncomfortable with how your partner is keeping tabs on you, you should be clear and direct about this. Your social media is private to you and although it is open to others, this does not mean it’s okay for your partner to monitor yours. If they don’t stop, you should really consider what you want in a relationship.

Relationships are tricky, and we all have our own reasons for being insecure. This, however, does not make it okay. Boundaries are important in relationships.  You need to feel free enough to be your own person whilst still being with someone else. If your partner is clingy, make sure you are clear in what you want. If they can’t accept this, maybe they just aren’t ready to be in a relationship right now.

Reference:

  1. https://www.bustle.com/
  2. https://www.quora.com/
  3. https://www.refinery29.com/
  4. https://www.wikihow.com/

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