Needy people can be in all areas of our lives, and they can latch on to others in an attempt to deal with low self-esteem issues.

At first, it can be hard to spot a needy person, but the worse things get the more time and effort it can take up on a daily basis. In friendships, it can be difficult to handle, as they seem to rely on you too heavily. When a romantic partner is needy, however, it can cause a severe strain in the relationship as it becomes imbalanced.

There are some tell-tale signs that someone in your life may be a bit too needy for the relationship to be healthy, and we are here to help you spot these signs and tell you how to deal with them.

1. They want to be with you all the time

Wanting to spend a lot of time together can be a great aspect of a relationship, as long as it is desired by both parties in the relationship. Needy people tend to go beyond this and will want to spend as much time with you as they possibly can. This can limit your freedom and privacy and can be quite overwhelming.

How to deal with it:

Calmly explain to your friend or partner that sometimes you need a little bit of time and space for yourself, to do the things that you enjoy. As much as you enjoy spending time with them, it’s not healthy to spend all of your time together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.

2. Needs to be around you in social situations

It’s natural for people to feel nervous in new social situations and needing reassurance from the person they know well can be helpful to allow them to relax. However, if this is the case in all social situations, even if they know others, it can be difficult to deal with. This can be excessive neediness, but it can develop into controlling behaviors, so it’s important to nip this behavior in the bud ASAP.

How to deal with it:

Encourage them to meet new people so that they feel more comfortable in the future, and perhaps agree that you can come together if they feel anxious. Explain that you want to have more freedom in social situations, that you would like to be able to talk to people around the room without having to be together all the time.

3. Constantly seeking approval

Needy people are generally suffering from low self-esteem or a lack of confidence, so they may seek validation and approval from you to make themselves feel better or more secure. This is natural in relationships to an extent, but people should also be able to feel confident in their own achievements and decisions.

How to deal with it:

Encourage them to try new things and new skills. If they have something that they particularly enjoy, encourage them to do more of it and build their confidence in other ways. You are not responsible for their self-esteem, so don’t be afraid to explain that you feel that this is the situation you feel put in.

4. Always asks what you’re thinking

It can be sweet, in some circumstances, to ask what your partner is thinking or feeling, but if this is constant then it oversteps an important boundary. They may be doing this to make sure that everything is okay and that you’re not upset with them, but it can be frustrating to have to vocalize every thought to a person.

How to deal with it:

Agree that, if there is something wrong, you will explain it to them straight away, rather than hold it in and begrudge them. Reassure them that you are not always thinking about anything of relevance and that they do not need to worry that you are secretly annoyed at them.

5. They need more from you than you need from them

Needy people generally need a lot more than others do, and this can be in terms of attention, favors, and assistance with tasks. It is natural to ask for help, but if it begins to feel as though you are having to do everything for them, then it is time to address the issue.

How to deal with it:

Don’t be afraid to say no. Saying yes too much can make you the person that they are more likely to go to when they have a problem. Simply saying no and telling them you have other things to do can push them to perform a task on their own and free up a bit more of your time.

Needy people are not bad people. Usually, they suffer from confidence issues that are momentarily made better with the validation of others. By calmly approaching the situation, rather than blowing your top at them can help them to build their independence and be less needy in the future.

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This Post Has One Comment

  1. Tara Willis

    “Omg” my boyfriends grandaughter moved in with us and boy is she needy ! The college is close to his house and she would have to travel maybe 45 minutes from her house where she lives with her grandma here she is! There is no time to talk to him at all she is always around , well he invites her everywhere ..i found that to be his mistake . She is always in our iam getting sick of it ! I dont see a problem with her traveling back and forth from where she use to live , she has a new car and shes young So many people do that commute everyday…She got a job here and only works 1 day out of the week , she goes to class 2 times a week for an hour each time ..i think its just for convenience. ..”Online classes cmon”! I call this someone who needs lots of attention !

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