Do you ever wish you could take charge of all kinds of social situations? Let’s take a look at how to be more confident, shall we?
Here is what’s supposed to happen in social situations: Usually, when you meet new people, you exude grace and you show your true feelings.
You are open, allowing those new people to see you as a transparent person, correct?
And these positive feelings are supposed to be reciprocated. You may even feel loved in the presence of someone like this. Over time, these interactions continue to be nourishing, filled with humor and confidence. These social situations feel natural and you crave more and more time with others.
These people want to be in your presence and you want to be with them as well.
Your creativity soars. Your excitement is off the charts as you share everything about yourself with others. Can you feel it? Can you feel the bursting confidence exuding from each word that drips from your lips? No? What’s wrong? Sometimes social situations aren’t that easy to navigate, are they?
It seems that delving into social situations, be it parties, festivals, or even dinner dates, is not always easy to do. In fact, as I wrote those saccharine positive statements above, I felt like I could choke on my words. Sometimes, being sociable is one of the most difficult things that a person can do, especially when they cringe, shake and feel scared to death instead of brimming with delight.
I personally feel this at times. I am highly critical of myself and sometimes even shy. When I am surrounded by others, I have a moment where I have no idea what I should say. I don’t feel confident, in fact, I feel quite small, to be honest.
Okay, I must admit, I have learned certain ways to build confidence. I struggle, and to others, I guess this seems strange. So I ask myself…
“Why do I struggle to be confident?”
As I look into the past, I recognize a few things that could be factors in how I feel. Come to think of it, only now, since I have regained my self-image, do I feel confidence pushing back to the surface. I was previously trapped in a cycle of lost identity. And of course, I could not express who I was. I lost myself almost completely!
I experienced self-doubt, and I still do at times. There was this mist surrounding my brain, a cloud that was thick and kept me from deciphering my feelings. My story was lost in this cloud, and so were my emotions.
Without a story, I did not feel stable
Little did I know, there was a relationship between my story and my confidence. The power that resided in putting my feelings to words was what built or destroyed my confidence. The more I recounted my own personal story, the more comfortable I became with who I am.
During life, letting our experiences pass us by is normal. We don’t take the time to feel the moment and allow emotions to sink deep into our beings. We become disconnected from who we are and the meaning of everything around us. Have you ever felt lost, and just unable to understand why you were feeling this way? I have.
Guess what? We matter, and our individual experiences matter as well. Not only do our lives matter to us, but they also matter to others, to some degree. These things that we’ve gone through have molded us into what we are at this present time and these moments are magical. They heal us, and they also provide strength for others who have experienced similar things in life.
I wrote my story, and as I wrote it down, I grieved, but something else happened too. I learned things and I felt the love in ways that I had never felt it before. Over time, I felt my confidence rising, not a confidence based on whether I was happy or not, but a confidence that withstood all outside circumstances. I know who I am today.
Confidence can grow through writing – this is for you!
Now, if you haven’t experienced such a revelation, try this. Open up your documents on the computer, or grab a notebook and pen. Take a moment and write how you feel. This is an exercise that might not be easy to do at first, but over time, you will begin to easily write all sorts of things that you are feeling and thinking.
Don’t worry about grammar or sentence structure, just write. You will feel things happening that might take you a little time to understand.
Now, take a deep breath…
Your emotions will begin to surface as you write. At this point, you can allow yourself to slow down and just let your feelings express themselves. Then process these feelings and love what you are revealing about yourself. As each word takes life in written form, you learn who you really are. You will see, by expressing the here and now, you will understand and appreciate the past. Old wounds will heal and there will be clarity like never before.
Now speak – speak truth – listen to your heart
Now’s the time to own up to who you are. When social situations start to make you feel small, recall the stories you lived. This has gravity and is the foundation which provides your support.
Here, within this foundation, you are beautiful, wise and lovable
By finding a connection to yourself and learning to love who you are, you can learn to love others and find a connection with them as well. Now, you can be heard, so be confident and brave. Let your light shine brightly for all to see.
If you have ever struggled with confidence, I encourage you to let our connection strengthen you to try again. Please share your experiences!
By Sherrie H.