Each one of us experiences 3 kinds of love in our entire life.
“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single throbbing moment.”
– Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
Authoress Sarah Dessen is spot on that love comes at unexpected times, but may be off the mark about saying that it happens only in a single moment.
Relationship experts suggest that people fall in love a few times in their lives and that there are specifically three kinds of love. Each experience has a different purpose. The quest for true love is never an easy one, and begs the question – which is the right relationship?
Love Trends – How Often Do People Fall in Love?
There are more fish in the sea than you may think. Many people have more than one life partner.
In a survey conducted by Opera North, most people settle down in their late 20s, with 33% of them marrying their first loves. The rest admit to letting their first loves go.
41% of another survey’s participants shared that they fell in love with someone not right for them, with a colleague being a likely partner.
Another finding by prolific ice-cream maker Haagen Daaz revealed that women tend to stay with one partner. Also, more men than women had more than one soulmate in their lives.
Why Finding True Love Seems Difficult
True love seems like an elusive entity for many people. Few know what it means to them; they do not know what they are looking for and often search in the wrong places.
Society, with its emphasis on technology and the use of modern devices, has reduced human relationships to an impersonal level. As such, most people do not see the need to meet each other.
As a result, most people do not know what they want in a soulmate. They search for one doggedly, and often blindly. True love is real interaction and requires a physical presence. It entails self-sacrifice and the willingness to make compromises for another party.
The Love Timeline: You Fall In Love 3 Times in Your Life
1. First Love
You probably had your first crush as a starry-eyed teenager. Everyone experiences the magic of young love. It is the sort of love that you may have entered into to conform with the crowd. Young people have a need for social acceptance; as such, how others viewed you may have been more important than how you felt.
2. Painful Love
The second sort of love is the love that hurts. It is the love of experience and educates you about yourself. You also learn about others.
You may have met someone who has manipulated or abused you in some way. There may have been vicious cycles of love and hurt in your relationship, but the hope for a miracle prompted you to see it through. You spent an infinite amount of time trying to make it work, but it did not.
Painful love is the love of growth. It may seem unbalanced, but the hurt eventually guides you to make the right choices.
3. Unexpected Love
The third kind of love is the sort of love that comes as a surprise. It may look wrong for a person at the start and may challenge your idea of what love is supposed to be, but works out perfectly in the end. The connection between you and your better half is inexplicable.
The two of you just click. Neither of you has expectations of how the other party should behave or act. None of you has lofty ideals.
Signs that Your Relationship is the Right One
With people having three kinds of love, how do you know that you are in the right relationship? The right one hits all the positive notes.
1. Joint Activities
A sign of a relationship working is if a couple enjoys activities together. You and your partner should be doing the things you both like. Hiking, sharing good food and playing basketball are excellent bonding activities for couples.
Both of you may enjoy activities together, but need to spend time doing them apart from each other as well. Each must respect the other’s need for space.
3. Productive Fights
Fights are inescapable but can be beneficial. To harness their benefits, make them as productive as possible. They should prompt both of you to grow together. Quarrels should be about establishing a common ground, compromising and having respect for each other.
4. Healthy Friendships
A couple should share friends. That said, each of you should have other friends as well. People in the right relationships will be able to find a balance between their social circles, their partner’s and their shared circle as well.
You may be in a relationship, but you should remember that you are an individual. The right relationship focuses on the development of the self. There should be a maintenance of self-identity.
6. People Like You Together
Pay attention to the feedback you get from others about their relationship. There will always be some criticism, but a lot of it is a bad sign.
7. Both Parties Grow
A healthy relationship is when you and your partner better each other. One person, for example, may inspire the other to exercise. Both of you should have a shared view of the future.
8. Keeping Secrets
Secrets abound in a relationship. Both of you should strive to be discreet. While discretion may seem trivial, it emphasizes the level of respect two people have for each other.
9. You Enjoy Routine
A relationship is a sound if both of you enjoy doing mundane tasks together. Errands can be fun when done with the right person.
10. You Share Financial Goals
Finances can strain a relationship. You and your partner should exchange ideas about how to grow them. Decide how much to put aside and what to do about retirement savings. Some couples may even share budgets.
So, these are the kinds of love one might experience in their lifetime
A person may need to fall in love more than once to find the right relationship. A few hints will show if it is the right one.
By Michelle L.