If you feel overwhelmed by petty quarrels and other problems in your relationship, you’re not alone.

Breakups, sadly, happen too often. The angst of splits is painful and often unnecessary. You can dodge relationship problems if you know what causes them in the first place. Here are some which can trigger a nasty, yet avoidable split.

10 most common reasons that make people leave the ones they love

If you’ve ever struggled with relationships, you’ll find these issues familiar. Remembering them will help you work through your present and future relationships.

1. Falling out of love

First of all is the mistake of complacency. It’s easy to get too comfortable in a relationship. A couple may not see the need to put in effort into a romance if both partners know each other too well.

The reality is that relationships take more than just two people coming together. Although you’ll share fun and laughter, you’ll have to put in work to fuel your romance.

2. Deceit

Telling lies and keeping secrets from your loved one is a romance killer. It breaks down trust and cuts communication lines.

Though you don’t have to bother your partner with minor details like whether to have meatloaf or spaghetti, you do have to give warning when something major happens. Your partner will eventually discover that wrecked car or an unexpected visit from an ex, so it’s always better to keep things honest.

3. Perfectionism

Also, many people expect their partners to fulfill their expectations completely. It’s almost as if their better halves are beholden to bring their ideal picture of romance to life.

Everyone makes mistakes, including yourself, so it’s not fair to have unrealistic expectations of your partner. It’s wiser to acknowledge another person’s humanity, especially when he or she impacts your life.

4. Control

Your partner may do things that drive you nuts once in a while. He or she may make you want to comment on everything. If this is you, stop and think about whether you’d like people to tell you what to do all the time. Your partner may resent you because you treat him or her as a child.

5. Conflict with your significant other’s family

It’s difficult for two people to come together because they and their family members have different backgrounds. You may resent some of their ways or beliefs. Embracing differences will enable civilized living. Acknowledge that you won’t always agree, and respect each other’s boundaries.

6. Compatibility

Another mistake couples often make is not acknowledging deep differences in values. Though it’s always possible to overcome gaps in religious and cultural beliefs, they are sometimes too wide to ignore. Take time to discuss these issues with your partner, or you’ll find yourself disappointed later.

7. Mishandling conflict

Many couples either fight about everything or refuse to talk about important issues to avoid conflict. Not discussing points of contention will cause a problem to fester. That might trigger an explosive incident and lead to a messy breakup, with one partner not knowing what he or she did to offend the other.

Conversely, fighting about everything is never wise. You’ll have to consider whether the subject of your disagreement is a deal-breaker for both of you because always fighting about it will hurt your relationship in the long run.

8. Not taking time for yourself

You may lose focus on your identity as an individual if you spend every waking moment with your partner. You may start to consult him or her about every decision. Engaging in your favorite hobbies will help you reconnect with who you are.

9. Finance

Another relationship breaker is money. Many couples forget to talk about it. You will come from different financial backgrounds, so you’ll have to agree about how to spend your joint finances if you’re in a serious relationship.

10. Lack of appreciation

Finally, many couples make a simple mistake that causes many relationship problems. They forget the little, important phrase, ‘thank you.’ We sometimes overlook a person’s good qualities until we sit down to consider them.

You’ll prevent hurtful quarrels and so, breakups if you’re aware of the problems that cause them in your relationship.

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