Do you feel like passionate love has died in your relationship? It’s okay, there are ways to rekindle the feelings you had before.
It took a while for me to understand how passionate love works. Although many people assume that the feelings you have for someone will last a lifetime, what they fail to see is that feelings transform.
This doesn’ t mean that feelings change into something worse or better. Like passionate love changing into endearing love, feelings just mature. However, with the right mindset, you can rekindle certain aspects of passionate love.
Learning how to rekindle passionate love
Although passionate love, over time, starts to resemble a more companion-based ideal, it’s actually still there. There are ways you can coax those tingling feelings back out and enjoy the experience. So, try these ideas and motivations in order to revisit the feelings of falling in love all over again.
1. Remember the reason
I know this one works because I use it myself when my relationship seems to get momentarily stuck in a rut. One of the biggest problems with most couples is the inability to see their partners as they did in the beginning.
If they could just somehow remember what attracted them to their partner, to begin with, they can relive those moments often, especially when times get tough. So, remembering the reason, the reason for attraction, friendship and commitment is the key to keeping the passion alive.
The next time you feel like giving up, think about those quirky things that caused you to fall head over heels in love. You will be surprised how instantly you are transported to a better time.
2. Separate home and work
Nothing kills a relationship faster than bringing work home. This can be said with taking relationship issues to the workplace as well. Neither of these strategies work. Think about it this way. Doesn’t your relationship struggle with enough issues without adding the drama from your shift?
Even though you may be tempted to hash out work issues with your mate, you should limit this action. Yes, your mate is your best friend, and yes, you can tell them anything, but remember, negativity is contagious.
Here’s a thought. I once had a therapist who told me how to separate one part of my life from the other to keep things simple. For instance, if you want to separate your work from home, then try this trick:
First, calculate how long it takes to go to work. If it takes 30 minutes to get to work, then break it down into halves. Halfway to work, say 15 minutes or so, make it a point to shut down any issues from home life.
For the next 15 minutes, as you travel to work, think of work issues and prepare yourself for the start of your shift. This also works for traveling back home. Halfway there, close out the work frame of mind, and open up your concerns for home.
This clearly separates one from the other and prevents any negativity from bleeding over.
Yes, you should have known that communication was a big part of keeping the passionate love alive. Without the ability to communicate issues or dislikes, you cannot make needed changes in the relationship.
You cannot convey how you feel, neither can you express your needs to your partner. A relationship void of communication will quickly kill all passionate love. Sometimes destroying the relationship completely.
To keep things alive, it’s important to always communicate, even when it seems the hardest thing to do. Clamming up and giving each other the silent treatment only prolongs torment and causes bitterness.
The unfortunate part of ignoring each other is that when you’re doing it, it makes you feel powerful. I think it’s one of the vilest forms of interaction between couples because it fools them into thinking they are making progress.
Either it ruins the relationship or it creates an environment filled with control issues and power plays. Just talk it through, you have to.
4. Keep goals in focus
Many relationships die when dreams are deferred or goals are forgotten. This is why sometimes you may wake one day with your partner and feel lost or feel as if you are stuck. This feeling comes from the fact that you’ve lost sight of what’s important.
You’ve forgotten what the two of you were fighting to achieve.
The good part about this is that it’s fairly simple to pick these goals back up and make them an important part of your relationship…because they are. These goals help you look at the big picture when petty things are threatening the peacefulness of your home.
Goals, dreams, and aspirations are the foundation of your relationship and they definitely keep passionate love alive. So, sit down and re-evaluate your goals on a consistent basis. When you talk about them, you can laugh together and dream as one.
5. Adjust your expectations
High expectations have damaged relationships more times than not. While it’s not wrong to expect a certain type of treatment, you can end up putting too much pressure on your partner. You shouldn’t expect gifts and help with the chores all the time.
Let’s face it, we are human and we will be lazy sometimes and forget things.
I think this issue was one of my downfalls in relationships and I still struggle with it a bit now. I often expect the most out of my partner and get irritated when I don’t get what I think I deserve. We must remember, together, that if we expect just a bit less, then we will be happier when we get those special things and that extra help.
So, lowering expectations may just be a key to rekindling passionate love.
6. Have date night
This is so important, no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been in a relationship. Everyone loves to get dressed up and go out to eat or a movie, every once in a while. If you can just plan two nights out of a month and keep these sacred for “date night” then other things start to fall in place.
Why does playing dress up work? Well, going on date night allows you to leave home life and its serious atmosphere. Going out on the town or out for a picnic helps you unwind and forget issues which apply pressure to your relationship.
When the pressure releases, you can remember why you loved your partner, and this can help give you the strength to return to your responsibilities. It works!
You must commit to passion
In order to keep the passion alive, you basically have to commit to doing so. Making an effort to spend time with your mate and discover more about them is the key to a long lasting relationship. So, if you feel like your marriage or relationship is going under, try to remember why you love your partner.
Tapping into the important things will always outweigh the petty disagreements.
When love is true, there’s always a way.
By Sherrie H.
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