We are all searching for love and there are the luckiest among us who find companionate love, the rarest love.

Love is one of the most valued concepts in the world. We are all searching for that one special person to spend our lives with. There are many kinds of love in the world, the love we share with friends, with family, and with our partners. Then, there is the rarest form of love: companionate love.

It is one of the most durable and intimate forms of love out there but also the slowest to develop. It can be experienced between friends as well as between lovers. The key to finding it is finding the right person to develop a relationship with.

You need someone who is there to stand by you in the hard times, not just the easy times.

What is companionate love and how does it differ to other forms of love?

It is an all enduring, committed love experienced between very close friends and romantic partners. It is expressed by feelings of affection and deep intimacy with strong commitment from both partners.

Companionate love is a long term promise to be there for the other person through thick and thin and is the most stable love out there. It is the foundation of deep relationships and inspires an unquestionable understanding between two people.

Companionate love is different from other kinds of love because it is developed over a long period of time. It also isn’t limited to romantic partners or just between friends. This love can be felt between any two people and alongside other kinds of love.

It offers a sense of calm and security within the relationship which may not be felt within passionate or friendly love. This kind of love is the rarest because it usually develops after other types of love.

Passionate love may develop into companionate one and long term attachments may develop it after years of friendship. Since it develops after so much time together, companionate lovers have a profound acceptance of the other and enduring tolerance during the hard times.

Why is companionate love so rare?

The reason why this is one of the rarest forms of love is that it takes so long to develop. It requires a shared history with the other person and persistence through the hard times. Experiencing these things together develops a bond that maintains through better times.

These experiences cannot happen for every couple and some people are not as adaptable to deal with difficult moments. There are some who are more prone to straying when times get hard or run away when things get too difficult.

This makes it difficult to find someone to develop companionate love with because you need someone who will stay with you when things get difficult. Today, it is so easy to run away from problems and end long term relationships when things get tough.



Research

Most research in companionate love is done through self-reporting methods that ask people to respond with their feelings about another person. However, it shows that this type of love is one of the most positive experiences for both men and women.

Participants specify feelings such as ‘caring’, ‘respect’ and ‘loyalty’ for their partners with a deep sense of trust in the other. Scientists have also found that companionate love is one of the strongest and most durable kinds of love.

This is because companionate lovers are very committed to one another and remain stable. Moreover, this grows stronger over time.

Do companionate lovers still have passion?

Due to the long-enduring nature of companionate love, there may not always be a strong sense of passion for older relationships. However, that is not to say that companionate kind of love does not also include passion. Research has shown that sharing intense experience and the novelty of different life experiences stimulate the same regions of the brain as romantic passion.

This means that going through life together can stimulate the same sense of passion as being in a new relationship. Nurturing the spark is the key to maintaining the passion in a relationship between companionate lovers. Learn something new together, take time for each other and change a monotonous routine.

Even small changes can make all the difference in maintaining passion whilst enjoying your companionate love. Remember that this is one of the most special loves in the world. Everyone is looking for the one to go through life with and find that safe and secure commitment.



Although rare, it is one of the most important loves in the world. If you manage to find it, you’ll know is the one that is made to last. The great thing about companionate love is that it can be found between two friends as well as two lovers.

It doesn’t just have to come from passion or long term relationships. If you manage to find it with a friend or a lover, count yourself lucky and enjoy it for the rest of your life.

References:

  1. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/

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