How to Trust Your Boyfriend When You’ve Experienced Past Toxic Relationships

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It’s difficult learning how to trust your boyfriend when past relationships were unhealthy. The toxic influence from the past still lingers.

One of the most confusing aspects of being in a relationship is understanding whether something is wrong or if you’re basing things on past relationships. When learning how to trust your boyfriend, you cannot be influenced by these things, honestly.

Hard as it may be, you must have a clean slate when making wise judgments. At some point, you have to learn how to trust again.

Trust is important to all relationships

The truth of the matter is that without trust, relationships are incredibly difficult. There will always be a time where all you have is trust, and evidence may be scarce. This is why learning to trust your boyfriend is so important. There are ways you can do this, and they are pretty simple.

1. Check your self-esteem

Now, before you jump to conclusions, just hear me through. Sometimes insecurities do play a role in the inability to trust. So, in order to understand this and determine whether this is your problem, you must check your self-esteem.

Are you feeling bad about yourself? If yes, then this is common after ending toxic relationships. Hopefully, you have spent a bit of time on your own before entering a new relationship, otherwise, these low self-esteem issues will persist.

Know who you are, and then you can love correctly. Check yourself and then you can start on the road to learning how to trust your boyfriend.

2. Quality time

Spending quality time with your mate helps you build a stronger bond. If you haven’t been spending much time together then it’s possible that this has damaged some of the trust you did have.

If you are struggling constantly with trust issues, then maybe you should set regular dates with each other to establish your consistency. Whatever works for you, as long as you are working together to build trust.

3. Appreciate honesty

If your boyfriend is being honest about the things he does, then try not to doubt this and criticize his actions. He doesn’t have to tell you these things but he does. Maybe this is because he does care about your feelings and doesn’t want any room for doubt.

If you have been distrusting in the past, he will try even harder to make sure he lives a transparent life. Please take notice of these things and appreciate them. This will help you see things clearly and learn how to trust your boyfriend.

3. Do not project

When you see your boyfriend doing something similar to what your ex-boyfriend did, don’t jump to conclusions. Yes, it’s possible that the same thing could happen, but it’s not set in stone. Just because your current boyfriend said a few of the same statements doesn’t mean he will act like your mate from the past toxic relationship.

You have to be absolutely sure before you start comparing your present boyfriend to the one who hurt you before. It’s never really a good thing to do. You can learn how to trust your boyfriend when you learn how to stop projecting and comparing.



4. Listen and learn

Sometimes you just have to listen to your boyfriend’s side of the story, whatever it may be. Misunderstandings can lead to damaged trust. Mending trust issues may just be about understanding the motive of the situation which concerns you.

Always listen before making a decision. This can help you learn how to trust your boyfriend much easier.

5. Support

There is always support available from friends and family. Then, there is support for addictions, divorce, and even for job loss. There is a way to gain help and comfort for most any issue that you may go through. Yes, there is support for learning how to trust your boyfriend as well.

Your family and friends can help you with both the issues that your boyfriend has and your own faults. Having a good support system also means you have someone to talk to when you feel less than trusting. Use this support system and build trust, thus healing the wounds from your past.

Learning to trust helps you grow

It’s important to learn to trust people, as this helps you feel comfortable and more confident in your friendships. As for relationships, trust is mandatory. Without trust, relationships will eventually wither and die.

So how about we learn how to trust our boyfriends and give them a chance. They may just be the person that helps us heal the remainder of our past hurts. Let’s just have an open mind, be brave,  and see what happens.



References:

By Sherrie H.

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By |2018-09-20T20:08:05+00:00September 20th, 2018|Categories: Mental Health & Wellbeing, Relationships|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

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