Trust in a relationship is an essential part of any partnership. But if I asked you what was most important in a relationship you would say, love.

Of course, love is important. Loving someone makes us feel connected and valued, so where does trust come into it?

According to the Relationships Surveys Indicators 2011, lack of trust is one of the top four reasons for relationship breakdowns.

Trust is the starting point and basis from which we can build and grow as couples. If we don’t have trust in a relationship we don’t have a solid foundation, to begin with.

Here are five reasons why trust is really important in relationships:

1. You cannot love someone you don’t trust

You build love by trusting someone. You are at your most vulnerable when you are in love. You can only give your love to someone you truly trust. You trust your partner to nurture and protect your love. Love is a delicate and precious emotion and you only give it to someone you trust.

2. You can achieve more when you trust

Knowing for certain that your trust is repaid in any event makes us practically invincible. We can face the hardest challenge. That someone has your back at all times is an incredible confidence boost. It allows us to try new things, be a better person and pass that trust onto others.

3. You don’t feel lonely

On a planet with billions of people, life can feel pretty lonely. Even if you are in a relationship, without trust, you fight your battles on your own. When you have trust in a relationship you are partners in crime. You no longer have to face the daily challenges alone.

4. Trusting in our relationship makes us generally more positive

Being able to trust our partners and love them at the deepest levels makes us positive about everyone else. It gives us hope that there are good people out in the world when we have such a positive role model at home.

Those who are without someone they can trust are typically disappointed with life. It is only natural that they begin to distrust others.

5. Your relationship cannot grow without trust

Trusting another person with our deepest and most intimate thoughts allows us to grow and flourish. If we cannot trust the other person then we constantly censor ourselves. We have to be on guard and watch what we say in front of them, in case we slip up and reveal too much.

How to cultivate trust in my relationship?

If you don’t have trust in a relationship there are ways in which you can cultivate it.

1. Agree to open communication

Being able to talk to your partner about anything is the first step to building trust with each other. You should be able to air any worries or concerns you have about yours or their behavior and discuss it in a mature way.

2. Define proper boundaries

Having clear boundaries that are acceptable to both parties is essential to building trust in a relationship. You can discuss potential deal breakers, understand what actions trigger your partner’s worries. You should always agree to respect each other.

3. Talking commitment

Talking commitment and what it means to both of you and how it will impact the future for your relationship. Many people have different expectations of commitment and it is this that can lead to a lack of trust. Be clear with each other where you want your relationship to be heading.

People show that they trust each other in many different ways. It is not just about letting a partner off on a long leash and not worrying about what they are getting up to.

How to demonstrate trust in your relationship:

  1. Be considerate of your partner’s need.
  2. Support them in all their endeavors.
  3. Listen to them when they are worried.
  4. Be considerate and caring towards them.
  5. Be respectful of them.
  6. Be available and dependable at all times.
  7. Encourage them to be their best.
  8. Trust that they know what is best for themselves.
  9. Respect their boundaries.
  10. Make them feel safe and secure.
  11. Try to resolve disagreements in a mature way.
  12. Don’t check up on them all the time.
  13. Don’t try to control their every move.
  14. Allow them the freedom to pursue different interests.
  15. Don’t cut them off from friends or family.

Trust in a relationship takes time and patience and a willingness from both parties. It can take weeks or many years. Once established, however, it helps to solidify love in a way that no other emotion can.



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