Do you feel that your relationship behaviors are maladjusted and imbalanced?
Relationships are complex entities which are difficult for anyone to understand, including those in them.
Like everyone else, you may want help to get a handle on yours. Unfortunately, going to school does little to help you manage them; you have to rely on your own devices. Here are some bad relationship behaviors that you should avoid at all costs.
Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Relationship
To prevent your relationship from going south, you will have to recognize the signs of toxicity. It may be weakening if you recognize any of them.
A relationship in which you experience energy withdrawals more than deposits is toxic. You will feel emotionally drained instead of energized. Vibes of entrapment characterize these relationships; you feel stuck because you and your partner always undermine each other.
There is often a lack of trust in toxic relationships. Persistent unreliability rules the day, and it is impossible to expect honesty from each other. Constant anger will fill your days; you will notice an increasingly hostile atmosphere. Communication between you and your partner will be challenging; both of you will take steps to avoid each other.
A telling sign of a toxic relationship is that it prompts feelings of unworthiness. Both of you will continually belittle each other. You may start to lower your standards, accepting your partner’s behavior even though it is below par.
12 Toxic Relationship Behaviors to Avoid
Now that you know the signs of toxicity, it is time to ask yourself if you are doing anything to make it unhealthy.
Here are some relationship behaviors you must avoid if you do not want your relationship to sour.
1. Keeping scores
A relationship where both partners keep score of when they feel wronged is unhealthy. If you find yourself keeping track of when your partner sent messages to the opposite sex, you may want to let go of your suspicious behavior.
Do you find yourself disliking your partner’s actions, and snubbing him instead of addressing his behavior directly? On a scale of one to ten, your relationship may be on the lower, unhealthy end. You may want to avoid saying “I’m fine” when you mean the opposite; a healthy relationship involves open communication.
3. Giving Ultimatums
You may find yourself threatening commitment to your relationship when you disagree with your partner’s actions. Try not to say things like, “If you can’t stand it, let’s just break up” or “I can’t be with someone who behaves this way all the time.”
4. Forcing Negative Emotions onto your Partner
Everyone relies on their soulmates for support when they have bad days. You may snap at your partner for being insensitive, without telling him that you had a bad day at work.
Try not to do this. It shows that you are too reliant on your other half to help you navigate your emotions. Both parties in a relationship need to manage their ill-feelings.
5. Displaying Jealousy
You may believe, mistakenly, that a show of jealousy on your partner’s part is endearing because it means that he loves you. You may deliberately cause it to manifest by flirting or texting a member of the opposite sex in front of him.
Jealousy is an unhealthy emotion. It builds mistrust. The best way for both of you to fight such feelings is just to have faith that you are not going to hurt each other. Do not tease your partner into showing “loving” jealousy.
6. Buying affections
When there are conflicts, you may find yourself buying things to appease your partner instead of getting to the root of the problems in your relationship. Such an action is toxic because it only serves to sweep issues under the rug. Both of you will find reasons to be upset with each other instead of being accountable for your actions. You should communicate openly instead.
7. Checking each other’s mobile devices
Many people keep track of their partner’s interactions by scrolling through message inboxes. Do not do this yourself, because it will create a lack of trust.
8. Bringing Up Past Relationships
Comparing your partner with an ex-boyfriend is a guaranteed way to generate ill-feelings in a relationship. It will not motivate him to do better, but cause him to resent you instead.
9. Cold Wars
Many couples solve their problems by waging cold wars. Giving your partner the cold shoulder or slamming doors will not solve any problems in your relationship. Open communication is essential; discuss your problems instead of burning bridges.
10. Attempting to take control
The driver’s seat of a relationship is a temptation. You feel in control and relish in someone being at your beck and call. While the feeling is exhilarating, it will make your partner feel powerless. No one likes a collar around the neck.
11. Having Idealistic Expectations
The less you expect from someone in a relationship, the more satisfied you will be. No one can deliver perfection. Remember that your partner is not you, and cannot do things in the exact way you want him to. Unnecessary stress and pressure can be unhealthy.
12. Justifying present righteousness with past misdeeds
Many couples justify their current actions by bringing up their partner’s wrongdoings. Such relationship behaviors are toxic; all it achieves is an endless tussle to see which of you has done more wrong. Remember that when you are in a relationship, you choose to embrace your partner’s past actions.
You can maintain a healthy relationship behavior with a little effort. While a relationship will never be perfect, a little self-awareness and consideration go a long way to making it one of your dreams.
If you have in mind some extra relationship behaviors to avoid, share them with us in the comments below!
By Michelle L.
Copyright © 2014-2019 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.