Relationships can be complicated, but they can also be amazing. One thing you must learn, however, is how to not be clingy.
I’m sure most everyone has experienced a clingy partner before, or they’ve been the one who acts this way. Either one or the other most likely has happened, and so you understand that it’s not a normal type of behavior. In case you are the rare person who doesn’t know what clinginess means, here’s a short definition:
Clingymeans being too attached or obsessed with another person, and not allowing them space.
How to recognize clingy behavior in your relationship?
You could be the clingy individual or you could be dating them. It doesn’t matter because either way, it must stop. But before you can improve on this sort of mindset, or before you can help your partner, you must know what to look for.
Most of us know if our partner is clingy, but sometimes we don’t see it in ourselves. So, it’s time we learned a few things. Learning makes us more intelligent and just all-around better people.
1. Text or call too much
If you’re dating someone and you’re calling them several times a day, that might be too much, especially if you’ve been together for a while now. If your partner is doing this to you, then you understand.
Your phone is probably blowing up with text messages and missed calls because let’s face it, you’re past the point of answering every call, aren’t you? If you see this behavior in yourself or you’re experiencing this from your significant other, then there is a clingy atmosphere.
2. No interest in past enjoyments
You’ll know that you’ve become clingy if you’ve lost interest in the things you used to love to do. Now, you will only want to do what your partner does. Before the relationship, you had many hobbies and social events, but now, it’s all about them.
If this is not you, but instead, your partner, then notice how they like everything you like. Do you remember how they used to do interesting things they no longer do? These things may have even been a part of what you liked about them. Since you’ve been together, your loved one is only interested in your interests.
3. Needing constant reassurance
Does your boyfriend constantly say, “I love you”, then pester you to say it back? Or is this what you do? Well, constantly craving reassurance of love is a definite sign of being clingy.
You or your boyfriend is insecure needing to be told enduring things and shown kind gestures to believe they are loved. They need this constantly, 24/7, and they will not rest until they get it.
4. Stalking social media
Clingy people always stalk their partner’s social media accounts. That’s because they are afraid their partner is hiding something, usually another lover.
You’ll never learn how to not be clingy if you must always check up on your girlfriend’s social media. At some point, the clinginess must stop that trust must be rebuilt. If there was never a breach of trust, to begin with, then clinginess is your nature, a characteristic you might want to change if you plan to stay with the same person.
5. Resent other attractive friends
Let’s face it, there have been times that you felt uncomfortable about your partner working alongside an attractive person. If you haven’t, then good for you, you’re not clingy in this area, which is basically a form of jealousy.
But if you have, or if they are resentful toward someone you know, then this is also a form of being clingy. Resenting attractive people that your partner knows makes you look unattractive, and this doesn’t help your case at all.
6. Want to be your only friend
Clingy people want to be your only friend. In fact, they cannot stand the idea of you spending time with others, especially if they’re not included.
So, guys, if you have a clingy girlfriend, she will despise it if you want to hang out with the guys. Girls, this will happen to you too. If you’re trying to keep your mate at home all the time, only spending time with you, then you’re clingy.
7. Ditching their own friends
A clingy person once had many friends, but when she got into a relationship, she gradually started avoiding those friends in exchange for being with her partner all the time. Maybe you are the individual who has neglected your old friends for the one you think is your soul mate.
Well, if you want to learn how to stop being clingy, you need to get back in touch with your friends. It’s important to have relationships with others too.
How to not be clingy in a relationship?
Learning not to be so clingy might not be easy, but it’s something you need to do. If you’re dating someone who is clingy, maybe you can give them some advice, delicately, of course. Here are some things you can do:
1. Recognize it first
You cannot change anything unless you see it’s wrong with your own eyes. So, until you see your own clinginess, it will continue. So, it’s important to listen to others when they tell you the truth, even if that truth is hard to accept.
2. Focus on yourself again
This one is never easy when you’ve given so much to your partner already, but try it. Start small, and work on your personal character. Remember the things you love to do and create. Wear things that make you happy and not certain clothing that only appeals to them.
Take so much of that focus from your partner and enjoy being you. Over time, you will be much less clingy than before, and more attractive to your mate.
3. Repair your trust
This may be a thing you and your partner have to do together. Trust isn’t just given, especially if you’ve been hurt many times. It’s something that both of you should develop for each other. Loosen your hold and discover how not to be clingy.
When you loosen your tight grip on your partner, you can see how trustworthy they really are. If either of you falls a bit short, help each other. Being able to trust each other reduces the incidence of one of you becoming clingy in the future.
4. Give them space
You must give your loved one some space. Whether it’s releasing control when your partner wants to go see other friends, or if it’s just staying on the other side of the house for a change.
Alone time is important, and when you’re clingy, there is no alone time. Push yourself to allow your mate some space. This will cultivate a better relationship between both of you.
5. Stop stalking everything
Yes, it’s tempting to see what your partner is really doing online, but sometimes it can be a big mistake. There are times when you think you’ve found something incriminating when it can be a huge misunderstanding.
If you weren’t snooping around, you wouldn’t have to deal with this issue. So, the next time you decide to hack into his social media, think twice. Would you want your boyfriend to do this to you and find a misunderstanding?
Let’s enjoy the present and worry less
If you want to know how to not be clingy, just change your mindset. Start seeing your partner as your equal and not as your child or someone you need to take care of.
Seeing people as responsible and loyal adults helps you build your own confidence and self-esteem. It’s important to stop being clingy because the perfect girl could be the one who left because she wasn’t happy. And no one wants to lose a soul mate.
Let’s just try to get better in this area, as we have mercy on those who are still struggling. If we practice stepping back for a while, our relationships will flourish like never before.