Do you ever feel like you’re in a ‘right person, wrong time’ situation? Like you have a connection that seems to be something special, but the circumstances are so laughably wrong, you are convinced the universe has had a glitch in the framework?
We all expect sparks to fly and lights to dim when we meet our soul mate. Sadly, the real world isn’t usually quite so romantic or dramatic!
- How can you know whether they are, in fact, the perfect person, and the scenario that makes it impossible for you to be together needs to change?
- Or that there is never a wrong time to meet this dream person, and you must find a way around the obstacles?
Is It the Right Person at the Wrong Time?
Our hearts are fickle creatures, and when left unsupervised, can run riot – so let’s consider when it really might be a case of having met the right person at the wrong time.
1. It Would Never Work Long-Term
This deduction is the most common reason we think a potential new relationship is never going to work. It’s not that there isn’t chemistry or that you don’t have powerful feelings for each other.
It’s that you have a fundamental difference in the way you think, live, or believe. It means in the long-term, what seems like a match made in heaven would prove to be all wrong.
Reality check time.
If that happens, it’s not a right person, wrong time situation. Usually, it’s a great person with the wrong values for you, and time hasn’t got a lot to do with it.
Think of it like this. Say you agree to meet again in five or even ten years. Will those long-term goal differences or aspirations have changed significantly enough to make it worth pursuing?
If yes – stay in touch!
If not – move right along.
2. Another Relationship Makes It Wrong
Ah, another key reason you feel like you’ve stumbled across your heart’s greatest desire, but one or both of you know it isn’t going to lead to happily ever after because you’re already attached to somebody else.
Now, let’s take a little minute here.
Are you sure this person is exactly what you have been searching for all these years? Or is it a case of greener grass?
Far too often, the routine and boredom of a long-term relationship or marriage start to lose its shiny new sparkle. Eyes and feelings wander astray, looking for something more exciting to pursue.
Invest your attention in your partner, recognize the value of the years of commitment you have given to each other, and water your own grass instead of looking for a prettier patch across the street.
I’d guarantee it is worth it.
3. The Practicalities Are Impossible
Like the concept of alternate realities, most people have had the ‘in another lifetime’ chat with somebody they feel an achingly strong attraction to. But, no matter how compelling it might be, there is something that makes it impossible.
- Perhaps you live miles away and have crucial commitments that mean you can’t possibly consider relocating.
- Maybe you have an enormous age gap, which means you wouldn’t ever feel able to have a ‘normal’ relationship and co-habit harmoniously.
- It might be that you both have a religious commitment and feel that whatever chemistry is telling you, there would be no way to make that passion a reality since you wouldn’t ever be able to overcome the glaring difference in your belief systems.
Honestly? It’s nonsense.
If you truly, genuinely, authentically love someone in such a profound way, there is nothing in the world you can’t overcome to be together.
Move states, convert to a new religion, connect with your friends and family and seek their support. Should practicality mean you think you have met the right person at the wrong time, I’d say that the connection isn’t as strong as you might imagine it is.
Why Meeting the Right Person at the Wrong Time Doesn’t Exist
So, perhaps controversially, you get where I’m going here! I honestly can’t believe that there is any such thing as the right person at the wrong time.
If you are already in a committed partnership or meet someone who is, then it’s critical to evaluate why you are investing your emotional energy in somebody new.
Perhaps, unusually, they really are The One for you.
In that case, you need to spend some time thinking it all through very carefully. If this new potential relationship is something of immense value to you, it’s time to be honest.
Should you have fallen in love with somebody outside of your relationship, the only option is to be open with your existing partner and explain to him or her why the relationship needs to end – BEFORE you do anything about it!
That could be a crushingly hard situation for all involved. Still, I know I’d rather have an ex who respected me enough to be truthful than live a lie with someone who was longing to be with somebody else.
Likewise, suppose a simple age gap or flight time is going to hold you back from spending the rest of your life with somebody who you believe was made for you. In that case, it’s likely more of a romantic notion or lustful experience than truly encapsulating love.
Should you think you have met the right person, and they are everything you have ever hoped for, then my advice would be to go for it, no holds barred.
Love is unique, special, and to be treasured. If it comes your way, it’s down to you to pursue it with everything you’ve got.
- Is It the Right Person at the Wrong Time? 3 Ways to Know - February 28, 2021
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- How to Stop Being Jealous: 10 Practical Tips - December 10, 2020
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