Women of today face double standards and unrelenting pressures.
Bosses demand their full attention in the workplace, while their families crave for their company at home. On top of these obligations, they have to pay heed to their appearance. All this creates double standards an average woman faces every day.
The harsh judgments imposed on women may be a norm but are unacceptable. Women must realize that they cannot, and do not have to please everyone. Trying to do so can trigger the symptoms of depression and bring on feelings of worthlessness.
What has led to these double standards?
The rise of feminism and societal progress has resulted in the emancipation of women in many countries. They have more opportunities today than they have ever had before. Members of the fairer (often perceived as weaker) sex have a vast number of education and career options open to them.
This extra lift, ironically, has constraints. It has increased demands on women, who are still expected to keep to conventional norms. It has also led to the development of workplace, relationship and even outlook stereotypes.
Women face judgment, and their harshest critics are, ironically, other women. Society imposes standards on them that do not apply to men.
1. Double standards at the workplace
As women excel academically and professionally, the workplace demands on them increase.
They face the perennial “glass ceiling” tussle. Bosses perceive women as not being able to hold high positions, owing to their parental responsibilities or perceived feminine weaknesses.
Finding a job in these times is tough for a woman. Many companies just write them off, assuming that they will leave once they have children. They refuse to award them with powerful positions for the same reason.
Societal norms make their job hunts even tougher. Society sees a woman who chooses her career over having children as “selfish.” Men, in contrast, are not subject to such value judgments.
Women are traditional nurturers, so superiors often view them as the ones who give and cajole. They believe that females have no capacity to lead. Hence, they often instruct her to “Act like a man,” or “Be a boss.” Conversely, when a woman does attempt to take the lead, they label her as being “a tough woman” or “bossy.”
Then, there are sexual misrepresentations. People view women as only being able to use their feminine wiles. They often deem a successful woman as having “slept her way to the top.”
The double standards at the workplace are norms no woman should have to navigate. It is important for you to be yourself, within the boundary of respect.
2. Double standards in Appearance
There are reasons many women have a preference for huge, walk-in closets. And vanity is one of the less important ones.
Women, since time immemorial, have had more pressure than men to look their best. It would explain their large variety of clothing. The broad range of fashion options open to them these days has increased the pressure.
Men have to look their best as well, but society levels more criticism on women who do not conform to its standards. It sees, for example, a woman who dresses in tee-shirts and jeans all the time as being “too basic.” Men would regard tomboyish women as “one of the guys,” and seldom view them as romantic partners. They are unlikely to face such judgment.
The double standards extend further. Guys would perceive women who are ultra-feminine as “too girly” or too “high maintenance.” Think about it. Society does not regard men who wear expensive jeans as likely to blow a hole in the pocket.
Then, there is a small but telling issue of shaving. People do not really notice if men shave or not; if they do, they are handsome and clean-shaven. When they do not, they are growing a rugged beard. Women who do not shave, in contrast, are subject to more scrutiny. Some men, for instance, prefer their girlfriends “clean-shaven.” People raise their eyebrows if a woman’s legs are “too hairy.”
Realize that the image you see in the mirror is a beautiful one and that you do not need to change it to please anybody.
3. Double standards in Relationships
Society expects more from women than men in relationships and friendships as well. Women are subject to harsher judgment because they are, as a whole, more emotional.
Everyone has their bad days, but women have fewer excuses for them than men do. Women who lose their tempers are irrational “psychos” or having their “PMS.” Men who do the same are just exercising their male rights to blow off steam once in a while.
In the opposite scenario, women who are willing to please as “not standing up for themselves.” In contrast, men who are giving to people are simply “nice guys.” Society slaps harsher labels on women than men.
Have you noticed that people are more ready to criticize the Mrs. than the Mr.? Men in almost every circumstance seem to be the nicer of the spouses, even though they may be as tough, if not tougher than their wives.
Take a simple example of buying a home. Homeowners and real estate agents are often more concerned about a woman’s demands, and forget that men may have similar requests too. Another general observation is that teachers would rather talk to dads than moms. Women are simply harder than men to manage.
The way to deal with such double standards is to realize that your friends and loved ones will take you as you are, regardless of the circumstances. You should not have to worry about acceptable norms.
Women face a multitude of double standards as they evolve and progress. To overcome the ones you face, love yourself.
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This Post Has 2 Comments
It’s all about a mothers rights, but no fathers rights.
Women being treated like princesses in prison and men being treated like animals. Female prison guards humiliate and degrade men with strip searches etc, but female prisoners get privacy and respect from male prison guards. A bodily choice for women, but forced genital mutilation for boys, referring to women’s rights to their bodies in terms of abortion, but boys being circumcised without choice.
Female reporters and staff allowed in men’s locker rooms, but privacy and respect for female athletes. This is the definition of feminist equality. Is this an example of the respect that feminists claim MEN don’t have the opposite sex? It’s women getting everything in a divorce, and men being torn away from their children.
Female sex offenders being slapped on the wrist, but male sex offenders being incarcerated the rest of their lives. It’s men being sentenced to more time for the same crime than women. This can be researched by the US government and shows that women don’t get held accountable to the level that men do.
Women having the right to use the men’s room, but a man who walks into the women’s room is arrested for being disrespectful and perverted. Men use urinals, but that’s still not enough for women to have basic respect for men’s privacy.
It’s a feminized education system that cripples natural behavior of boys, makes being male a crime in school, then girls claiming they are smarter.
Why is it when two people under the age of consent have sex, only the boy is charged with doing something wrong?
Its women being allowed to drown five children and using the fact she is a woman to get away with it – Andrea Yates
Its women being allowed to use domestic violence as an excuse to murder a sleeping husband, even though there is no evidence of domestic abuse – Mary Winkler
Its the extensive abuse of restraining orders to vilify an innocent man and get leverage in a divorce. A restraining order against a man can be served even without his knowledge or an opportunity to defend himself.
Its men being jailed for defending themselves against an abusive wife, but called a wimp if he takes the abuse
Its women demanding respect from men, but never having to respect them in return
Its women having the choice between abortion, adoption, dropping an unwanted baby off at a hospital, raising the child with a father, or raising the child without a father, but the only choice men have is to agree.
Its 3 innocent Duke Lacrosse players losing their lives because we don’t ever think a woman could lie about rape – let alone prosecute her for doing so.
It’s women labeling men as abusive when the US government has shown women cause more child abuse than men.
Its female rape being horrendous, but male rape being funny and made into comedy movies. Rape is a legally accepted part of the justice system, but only against men.
Its just about every TV show being allowed to humiliate and degrade men, but women complaining and calling it sexist if they were treated the same.
It’s more health care spending going towards women’s health than men’s. Breast cancer receives 7 times the funding of prostate cancer. There are three departments of women’s health in the US government, but none for men. However, men live an average of 5 years less than women when the genders used to have the same lifespan.
Its allowing women-only clubs and banning men only clubs
It’s doing everything we can to help girls in math and science but letting boys fall further behind in everything else.
It’s defining equal pay for equal work as men playing five sets of tennis, but women only playing three. Maybe women claiming 3=5 is the reason for the above point
Its cutting men’s sports in college in favor of women’s sports that have no interest
Its female murderers being mentally ill, but male murderers just being evil
Its claiming men walk out on their family when it’s actually women who file 80% of divorces
Its men being portrayed as evil, stupid or buffoons on TV and all women being perfect or superior.
Its women wanting equality for their gender, but men being called chauvinist pigs when they want equality for their gender
It’s fixing the education system when girls are failing and blaming the boys when boys are failing
Its women being allowed to level a false accusation against an innocent man without consequence. Read Duke Lacrosse and many other examples. Feminism has installed this right to women through the courts.
Its a man being a chauvinist, sexist pig when he doesn’t respect women, but a woman who doesn’t respect men is an admirable, strong and independent woman.
Women remove male role models from their sons’ lives, then when their sons behave badly, the women blame “patriarchy.”
Stereotyping girls as inferior to boys in any facet of life are “misogyny”; stereotyping boys as potential batterers and rapists is a public service announcement.
If a man wants sex more often than his wife is willing to give, he’s selfish; if a woman wants sex more often than her husband is willing to give, he’s selfish.
Married men who have affairs are selfish pigs; married women who have affairs are seeking the fulfillment they are not getting in their marriages.
Women insist their husbands assume the responsibilities of being a full parent, but as soon as a woman files for divorce, he is just an ATM.
1. If women sexually harass us, it’s seen as amusing rather than rapey.
2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, you’re seen as a predator pedo.
3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.
4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.
5. Women don’t get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, he’s ‘afraid of commitment.’
6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? They’re just gay.
7. Male genital mutilation—totally legal in every country.
8. If a woman gets angry at a man, it’s his fault.
9. Our society doesn’t believe that women can sexually abuse boys.
10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, we’re monsters.
11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.
12. If you’re a male nurse, people think it’s because you couldn’t become a doctor.
13. If a girl sexually assaults you, you’re supposed to enjoy it.
14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.
15. If men show feelings, they’re seen as pussies.
16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.
17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a ‘Men’s March,’ it’d be national news.
18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as ‘shallow.’
19. If a man cheats, he’s an asshole; if a woman does, it’s the man’s fault.
20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.
21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.
22. Sex toys for girls—normal. Sex toys for guys—weird loser.
23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesn’t.
24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, they’re a pussy; if they hit back, they’re a monster.
25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.
26. When a woman is raped it’s a tragedy; when a man is raped it’s a joke.
27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.
28. There’s no demand for ‘plus size’ male models.
29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.
30. It’s not OK to think a girl is too fat, but it’s OK for her to think guys are too short.
31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.
32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if they’re lying.
33. On a sinking ship, it’s ‘women and children first.’
34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.
Its feminists not being able to provide one example of legal discrimination against women in the US today.
Its women claiming THEY have no rights, equality or respect from the opposite sex!
Lots of what you’ve listed are generalities. For example number 33 on your list that you have so kindly provided us says that its women and children off first on a sinking ship but that term was adopted because women and children were viewed as vulnerable and needed to be saved by men. Women didn’t coin the term. I agree that as a world we have not achieved equality by any means but many thing you have said cant just be controlled by women alone. You say female prison guards humiliate and degrade male prisoners, that male prison guards are respectful and give female prisoners privacy but do you not see the flaw in your words? So you’re saying there have been absolutely no cases where a male prison guard has taken advantage of a female prisoner? That every female guard has humiliated and degraded a male prisoner? I think you don’t fully understand the hardships women have gone through to get to the place we are now, just as I have not experienced what you have gone through that had shaped the perspective you have now. I hope that next time you share your views that you don’t use the words every, always, all, etc. to convey your opinion because I do believe you have valid points that should be taken into consideration but I also believe that you are defensive and possibly blame feminism for the worlds flaws.