Could you be unhappy with life without even realizing it? First of all, you need to recognize the signs and explore the reasons for it.
Are you generally a happy person, with realistic expectations in life that can be achieved with a little hard work and positive thinking? Or are you secretly unhappy with life, but have no idea what is going wrong or how to fix it?
Our attitude and expectations have a huge effect on the way we live our lives. Give yourself impossible targets and expectations that are unlikely to materialize and you will only create unhappiness and negativity.
First, we have to explore the reasons that cause you to be unhappy with life in the beginning.
1. Believing that life is fair
There are no rules in life, in particular, the rule that life is fair. Going through life believing that you will always be treated fairly is setting yourself up for a fall, especially if you suffer a bereavement or tragic event.
It is natural to feel extreme sorrow during a period of grieving, but we all go through it, and no one is spared.
Suffering setbacks in the workplace or feeling unlucky in love because you feel unfairly treated will only cause a negative attitude. As a result, you feel unhappy with life in general.
Remember, life is not fair for everyone, it might appear that some people are luckier than others but try and see whether these people are making their luck, rather than luck just falling into their laps. Focus on what you can do to change, rather than blaming life.
2. Comparing yourself to others
A wise person once told me to never compare myself to other people as you simply do not know what life they are living. This was demonstrated to me the very next day when a successful model, who had everything at her feet, committed suicide.
We do not know what people are going through, their seemingly happy faces could mask painful memories or recent sorrows. The only person you should be worried about is you because only you have control over yourself.
3. Thinking that opportunities will just appear
Great opportunities do not just walk up to your door and ask to be part of your life. You have to search them out and actively look for them. If you think you are one of those lucky people that are going to be discovered, then think again.
It only happens very rarely and only to extra especially talented people. Go out there and make your own opportunities and see what comes back to you, because it really won’t come knocking.
4. You believe that everyone is playing by the same rules
You might play by the rules, but it is important to remember that not everyone else does. If you go around believing that other people behave within society’s rulebook, you could be taken advantage of or seen as naïve.
This belief could be secretly making you unhappy with life.
We are not suggesting for a minute that you go on a criminal rampage, just be aware that not everyone will adhere to your way of thinking and don’t get upset about it. Remember:
“If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.”
5. You think that people should like you
Everyone wants to be liked, unless you are some kind of sociopath or psychopath. But however hard we try, we are not going to make friends with every single person we meet, and that’s ok. If you fail to understand this, you may feel unappreciated and unhappy with life in general.
It is actually healthier to realize that we can’t make friends with everyone and to not worry about it too much. I mean, do you like everyone you meet? Concentrate on the friendships you have and make the most of those instead of trying to make everyone else like you.
6. People should know what you are thinking
Women, in particular, can relate to this situation. You come in from work and your partner has been relaxing all day, watching the football and the house is a tip. Why doesn’t he know what to do without you prompting him?
In romantic situations, you might require some extra tenderness and loving and expect your loved one to automatically know, but they are not mind-readers. You cannot assume people know what you are thinking, instead, take the bull by the horns and let them know.
7. I’m always right
Now, this was particularly hard for me as I always think I am right, I have to win every argument, put my point across and have others agree with me. But then I realised that those others I was trying to convince felt exactly the same way as I did.
It was only after having several heated debates with my sister that changed the way I thought about certain subjects. She made me think about the wider picture, seeing other points of view and taking on board different opinions, and I honestly feel a better person for it.
My attitudes have changed, I am more open-minded, but I also learn more.
8. Money will make me happy
We all dream of winning the lottery, but what are the really important things in life? Steve Jobs was rumored to have said days before he died:
“What is the most expensive bed in the world? Sickbed …You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.”
No amount of money will replace a loved one, or give a dying person a few more years to live. It is not money that gives our lives meaning, it is our relationships and how we conduct ourselves.
Don’t let the pursuit of money distract you from the real goal of life, which is to find love and happiness.
Once you start understanding what is making you unhappy with life, you can work to change the way you think about life.
It is possible to live a happy life, but if you are not, start making the changes so that you can lead the life you want.