Fights, unlike other confrontations, can be good for a relationship. It all depends on how much you respect each other in the process.
When you think about fighting, you rarely think of positive things, am I right? Well, there is a certain amount of positive feedback that is present in relationship fights, that is if it’s a healthy fight. No one likes to get angry and have a disagreement, but when they do, there should be some amount of growth and strengthening of the union that happens afterward.
The truth is, how will you ever get to truly know someone unless you’ve seen the good and the bad side of them? You also need to stretch those debating muscles a bit, stir up some emotions and then let things cool down. Hey, I don’t know the exact science of these things, but I do know that sometimes fighting in relationships is good.
How do you handle relationship fights?
Even though fighting is normal when it comes to relationships or marriages, it’s still important to find peace during the process. I guess it all depends on what the fight is about as to how you plan to fix it. And you cannot fix the issue by yourself, either of you. It must be a joint effort.
So, when it comes to fights with your significant other, how do we handle them the right way, without hurting your relationship?
No matter why you’re fighting, you must have patience. Not practicing patience during a fight will cause flared tempers and insults. So many people fight “dirty”, and this leads to terrible consequences, sometimes even breakups. So, in order to avoid such moves, it’s best to stop, think carefully about your next words and then wait. It’s all about patience.
2. Accept each other
It’s not always easy to tolerate other’s opinions and beliefs. However, this is key to being able to navigate fights in relationships.
Bringing acceptance into the situation allows you to see things from perspectives other than your own. Remember, each of you came into the disagreement with different mindsets and points of view. This fact could help you retain an emotionally healthy exchange.
3. Take more things at face value
You might not trust your partner as much as you should, but it’s important to take what they say at face value as much as possible. If there’s a misunderstanding, and your partner clarifies this issue, practice believing what they say.
Take things for what is said, not what your imagination creates. Your imagination and distrust can cause an escalation of the fight you’re trying to settle.
4. Focus on behavior not characteristics
Many times, when relationships endure fights, we focus on who the person is and not the way they are presently behaving. So, if their behavior is negative, we tend to use this as a reason to retaliate. Try to keep in mind that if your partner is angry and acting out, there’s something wrong, and not justa character trait.
This is especially true if they’ve rarely acted like this before. It’s always best to retain a positive image of your partner while dealing with their negative behavior. Also, you might not be acting all that great yourself, and you wouldn’t want to be labeled by that behavior either, now would you…
5. Keep expectations reachable
Honestly, so many of us have high expectations of other people. Yet, we fail to live up to many things in our own lives. Yes, we do become that selfish at times. So, to understand how a healthy relationship fight should be, we must understand that we cannot hold people up on pedestals.
We must lower our expectations of others so we aren’t so cruel when they fail at what we thought they should be. No one is perfect, nope, and so it’s best to cut a little slack and see people in a more realistic view. This helps greatly during confrontations, and can even help calm the relationship waters.
6. Let the small stuff go…please
I’ve had a few relationships fail because I just wouldn’t let things go. These were small things, like leaving clothes on the floor or forgetting dates that I thought were important. I guess the important things vary from person to person, but really, the small stuff isn’t worth losing connections with people you care about.
So, in order to handle relationship fights, you must stay focused on the big picture. Let the small stuff go and the bigger stuff will take center stage. Actually, this is true, if you stop fighting about messy partners, you might be able to see the elephants in the room, if there are any. Then again, you might just notice your relationship isn’t half bad after all.
Handle your business!
No relationship will ever be perfect, whether it’s platonic or intimate. What’s important is how you navigate your partnership and how happy you both or all seem to be. So, this is why it’s so important to understand the dos and dont’s of fighting, because relationships and fights go hand in hand, just to be honest.
It’s impossible for two or more people to be together without fighting. So, use these tidbits above and learn how to fight the right way. Yes, you heard me right, fighting is necessary, you just got to know how to do it right.