Children don’t want their parents to cross their boundaries, but few of them realize that a good relationship with their parents is crucial.
We may not like our parents to have a say in everything we do, but we must form solid relationships with them. We explain why it’s necessary and how to go about doing it.
Why a good relationship with your parents is more important than you think
1. Foundation for Adult Relationships
Relationships with one’s parents are the first and often deepest ones that we form. They influence our relationships with others.
How you interacted with your parents as a child determine how you do so with others as an adult. Also, parental advice will help you negotiate them when they aren’t smooth.
2. Creates trust
Communicating well with your parents allows you to form close relationships with them. Parenting is difficult, so it helps them if you are open to them.
Honesty creates trust. Your parents will trust you if you are willing to confide in them. Such trust helps build relationships.
3. Better Self-Expression
People who have parents who don’t express themselves well may become reserved and lack self-expression. They become insecure avoidants. If this is you, having a healthy relationship with your parents will allow you to be yourself.
4. Secure Emotional Attachments
Research shows that children who grew up in abusive environments tend to become this way themselves. They tend to manipulate others. Having healthy relationships with parents will allow them to become secure emotionally.
5. Less Cynicism
Those with divorced parents may develop negative perspectives about relationships, and this is understandable. They fall in love quickly and out of it just as fast.
It follows that a healthy relationship with both parents will cause a person to develop optimistic views of life.
6. Better Emotional Regulation
Your parents are the first people who guide your relationships with others and teach you how to manage your emotions. Having positive relationships with them means that they’ll be well-developed. You’ll be less likely to act out in anger.
6. Confidence
A positive relationship with parents builds trust in others. Having a healthy relationship with your parents will enable you to develop your social skills. You’ll have an optimistic outlook on life and be able to react confidently to people.
5 signs your relationship with your parents is toxic
So, everyone should have a positive relationship with their parents. But it’s sometimes difficult to gauge if your relationship with them is healthy.
Here’s how to tell the difference between a toxic and a healthy parent-child relationship.
1. Trust
First, a positive relationship builds on trust. Children who have a healthy relationship with their parents would trust them with sensitive information. Parents who have a stable relationship with their children would allow them to make decisions.
2. Boundaries
Healthy relationships function within limits. Parents should understand when to give their children the space they need for personal activities, and children should be in tune with their parents’ needs. Unhealthy parent-child relationships start when there is a breach of these limits.
3. Mini “Mes”
Everyone has unfulfilled desires, and some parents try to fulfill them through their children. They see their children as extensions of themselves and want them to live the lives that they couldn’t.
Parents who have healthy relationships with their children don’t dominate or control them. They also don’t make their children feel guilty for failing to meet their expectations.
4. Constant Quarrels, Criticism and the Silent Treatment
This sign is probably the most obvious one. Negative vibes do not create a healthy foundation for relationships, and consistent family bickering is one.
Furthermore, parents who always criticize their children create a disturbing atmosphere at home. Unending criticisms can last a lifetime. Healthy family relationships will not function well if parents continuously criticize their children and vice versa.
The silent treatment does not create an atmosphere of positivity either. Research shows that many parents who gave children the silent treatment received it from their parents, and it has lasting effects.
5. Communication
Parents and children in unhealthy relationships with their parents don’t share confidences; they keep things from each other. Those in healthy ones would share appropriate information and seek help from each other when they need it.
How to create a good relationship with parents
If you are always quarreling with your parents, you’d want to know how to improve your relationship with them. You can do so in the following ways.
1. Talk
Talking has a significant effect on your parents. A sign that things are not going well between you is when they refuse to talk about anything. You should be able to talk about the things that bother you. Try to converse with them as much as you can.
2. Have a Positive Attitude
Optimism always improves a relationship. Having a positive attitude when relating to your parents tells them that you care about their well-being.
3. Respect
We may know how to respect our colleagues or friends but fail to show it to our parents. We may not always agree with them but should remember that they have a wealth of personal experience to which we can defer.
4. Look at issues from their perspectives
When you feel like you can’t connect with your parents, try looking at things from their viewpoints. Their thoughts and expectations differ from our own. A little empathy creates a lot of understanding.
In all, you need a good relationship with your parents for your overall well-being. A little empathy, positivity, mutual trust, and respect go a long way to building it.
