Do you keep secrets or do you share with others every single detail of your life?

Keeping secrets is never usually advised, as it keeps issues that can damage your emotional wellbeing.

However, there are some key things that you should never share with others and are best to keep to yourself. Sometimes, keeping things safe can also be helpful in creating success.

1. Your Goals

Keeping your goals private can actually make you more likely to achieve them. Studies on goal-setting have shown that telling people your goals and gaining praise for setting them can make your brain produce the endorphins that it would have had you achieved the goal. This makes you feel as though you have already achieved something, so you don’t work as hard in the long run to meet your goal.

2. Your Personal Life

Your personal life is none of anyone else’s business, and telling others about things you get up to can open you to criticism and judgment. The choices you make in your life should be your own concern, as this will keep you from the unnecessary opinions of others, which can be harsh and demotivating.

Keep certain aspects of your life a mystery and don’t share with others every detail of your relationship and personal life. It will make you come across as much classier and worthy of a lot more respects than those who run their mouths about all of their bad habits.

3. Your Family Drama

All families have drama; it’s a cross that every family has to bear. Yet, it is not something that you should be telling the world. Obviously, if there is something very wrong, telling close friends and partners can help to lighten the load and keep you supported.

Telling the whole world, however, can be disrespectful to those involved, and open your family to judgment. It is always best to solve your issues privately and properly with your family and the ones you love.

4. Courageous and Good Deeds

Deliberately sharing your charitable deeds with others can very easily come across as arrogant and self-serving, and this should be avoided at all costs. It shouldn’t be a secret that you help those who are less fortunate, but it also shouldn’t be global news either.

The same goes for acts of bravery. We face challenges every day and your achievements in these challenges should be rewarded appropriately.

Looking for praise and appreciation makes you seem big-headed. Courageous acts are for others to deem courageous, otherwise, they are not all that courageous.

5. Material Belongings

Everyone likes to have nice things, and if we could we would have all of the nice things possible, but not everyone likes to hear about all of the things you have been treating yourself with. Jealousy is an ugly color on most people, but arrogance is even uglier.

Keeping your material gains to yourself allows you to make conversation about much more pleasant things that won’t spark up the green-eyed monster in others, and you’ll be deemed a much more modest and likable person by the people around you.



Francesca Forsythe, LL.M., M.Phil.

Copyright © 2014-2020 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

This Post Has 99 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Carlin Covello

    not always true if you have come from an abusive family

  2. Avatar
    Jennifer Travis Sattler

    But good food for thought if you are coming from an emotionally healthy place.❤

  3. Avatar
    Aaron Mullen

    Don’t be so paranoid not everyone is as evil as the media makes them out to be.

  4. Avatar
    Anurag Bansal

    Exactly

  5. Avatar
    Lydia Trite

    Haha…the media!! Now that’s funny!!

  6. Avatar
    Mark Bartnick

    Sometimes you have to give out info to get some back. People will open up to you if you share your most intimate thoughts.

  7. Avatar
    Mari Batchelor

    Sounds like we’re supposed to talk about other people and TV shows?

    1. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Yup sounds just about right. So what’s your favourite TV show?

    2. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      I don’t watch television 🙂 I got nothing to talk about 🙁

    3. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Oh dear, there are still other people to talk about

    4. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      No TV or movies eliminates celebrity gossip, and I can’t stand politics. But I’ve got big goals, oh wait, that’s off limits. 😀

    5. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Ouch so is there no hope whatsoever?

    6. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      I’m doomed.

    7. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Aren’t we all?

    8. Avatar
      Mark Sherman

      My turtle crawled a full meter yesterday.

    9. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      Mark Sherman Mine only went half of a meter. Seems to me like you’re bragging. You might need to re-read the list of off-limits.

    10. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Yeah talking about turtles in general is allowed as long as they’re not in personal possession of any who take part in the debate and if they’re not a part of their secretive life

    11. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      I never read the fine print.

    12. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Getting personal there, fine print can be boring although sometimes it’s very important.

    13. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      Crap. I’ll work on it.

    14. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Personal again :p that’s the second strike, you’re a rule breaker – this is the part where you’re being judged because you didn’t play by the rules, such a shame, this could really be something special. 😉

    15. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      Rats. My family would help me out with that if they weren’t arguing all the time. Okay, that won’t work. Can I ask Beyonce for assistance? Maybe I shouldn’t acknowledge that I need help. Umm. I digging myself a big hole of replies. Lukasz, thanks for your insight. But please don’t tell people about your above average perception abilities.

    16. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      People can find out by themselves only if they want to find out, otherwise it will probably be very pointless even thinking of telling others about these above average abilities, they’re not a secret although not everyone can see them

    17. Avatar
      Mari Batchelor

      True dat.

    18. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      Dat is true idd 🙂

    19. Avatar
      Lukasz Kulesza

      The size of the hole doesn’t matter it’s whether one can sufficiently fill it in with as many replies as needed. Here it is then : maybe it’s time for a less argumentative family, you can ask Beyonce for help, self acknowledgement is very important one needs to know if they need help so others can actually help them, hope this answers your questions, feel free to ask as many as you can 🙂

    20. Avatar
      Vonda Gee

      This article is about what now?! Asking beyonce for help? Lolololol why would beyonce want to help someone because they asked……that’s odd. How is it even possible for a conversation to interesting, if it’s tailored. Watching tv and discussing what you see on it is like so 1980s as everyone doesn’t necessarily watch tv. In regards to Lukasz last sentence…..the thing about asking for help, especially when it comes to those that you refer to as close or a friend…..they should know when their pal or loved one needs help. It’s one thing to reach out to someone and ask a favor, but really needing help should be something that those that love and care for you can readily see. So many people settle for half assness from others that they settle for however people claiming to love them treat them.

  8. Avatar
    Patricia Grace

    Funny but just these are the issues people most often talk about when they meet

  9. Avatar
    Caryn Owen

    I like to talk about my personal life. It helps me weed out who is really a friend. Who cares what people think 🙂

  10. Avatar
    Melissa Harris

    KreeMyer I feel like i couldn’t even keep these things a secret cos you’d find out anyway

    1. Avatar
      Kree Myer

      Damn right I would. This article offers bad advice-keep your private life private pfft how ridiculous.

    2. Avatar
      Melissa Harris

      I have tried but u always find a way through

    3. Avatar
      Kree Myer

      Ive told you numerous times, it’s because god wants me to know things. I don’t even have to go looking, knowledge just falls into my lap.

    4. Avatar
      Melissa Harris

      Haha well where was God when u didn’t know about Ed for weeks?

    5. Avatar
      Kree Myer

      God and I were both on holidays. It was over the Christmas holiday break and that’s his sons birthday so it’s expected he would of been on REC Leave. Duh

    6. Avatar
      Melissa Harris

      It wasn’t even in the same year…not a good enough excuse

    7. Avatar
      Kree Myer

      It was close enough.

    8. Avatar
      Melissa Harris

      There’s no rest for the wicked

    9. Avatar
      Kree Myer

      But I’m not wicked so therefore I need rest from my detective duties.

    10. Avatar
      Melissa Harris

      Oh that’s right…your heart is pure

    11. Avatar
      Kree Myer

      Pure as an angel.

    12. Avatar
      Melissa Harris

      Me too…thats why we’re besties

  11. Avatar
    Kyle J Tantardini

    Yeah i share 3 out of 5. And i am better for it.

  12. Avatar
    John Eppes

    Excellent advice

  13. Avatar
    Nathaniel R-Two Racine

    Sharing secrets is good for you internally however, you shouldn’t ever share anything about your life

  14. Avatar
    Diane Walton

    I disagree with all of these. The more you share the more you connect with people.

    1. Avatar
      Ken Martindale

      Spot on Dianne…totally agree,
      What a shallow world of paranoid droids we would be

  15. Avatar
    Sofie Denruyter

    Well, Yes, I learned that too, and it is true and very frustrating when people judge you and call you names that you’re not! So, keep quit is a nice way to protect you from false stories that blame you and are caused by misunderstanding! If after that, you still hear stories, you know it is completely false and caused by jalousy

    1. Avatar
      Vonda Gee

      A lot ofnthe time saying random nonsense will be translated into more nonsense. It unbelievable how thirsty some folk are for information that’s ghetto and “scandalous”

  16. Avatar
    Marvin Winston

    Keep your clothes on when the cameras rollin and keep it shut on facebook…oh wait too late…damn!

  17. Avatar
    Ralph Schneider

    “The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.” – Voltaire

  18. Avatar
    Martin Pawar

    Aids herpes women anger religion

  19. Avatar
    Sheri Monroe

    The fact is no one cares about your dreams or problems unless their a shrink. Keep your business to yourself.

  20. Avatar
    Shaun Mckay

    If you cant share these things with people then you are around the wrong people

  21. Avatar
    John Garaventa

    Woops

  22. Avatar
    Michelle Campbell Torcicollo

    In todays world i keep it all to myself.

  23. Avatar
    Kristi Galbraith

    I share all of these things, typically with people I consider friends. It’s part of my job also. I have to facilitate and maintain trust with customers. Sometimes you can’t always redirect a conversation to something else. Naturally, you don’t have to tell everyone everything. But if someone is going to judge me, I’d rather it be based on an element of truth, rather than mistrust me for being overly secretive.

  24. Avatar
    Christian Spangenberger

    Totally disagree with number 1! From personal and also from my clients experience I can for sure say that talking about your goal often keeps you accountable and highly motivated!

  25. Avatar
    Dee Ann

    What exactly should I talk about? Just keep having shallow frustrating conversations and then have a psychologist tell me that I need to get people to talk to?

  26. Avatar
    Cameron Johnston

    True

  27. Avatar
    Jami Salama

    Some of them are very debatable. Depends on whom you’re sharing with.

  28. Avatar
    Blanca Rangel

    Your period hahahahaha

  29. Avatar
    Ken Martindale

    After reading this list it seems that being a shallow shell of a person is the most applicable option….not for me thanks

  30. Avatar
    Julia Glassy

    A little mystery goes a long way.

  31. Avatar
    Pan Muraell

    tooth brush, dildo, partner,passwords, pin numbers. secrets, just for a start.

  32. Avatar
    Rob Lectka

    Why do I see pictures with women exhibiting the be quiet symbol so often. It that some kind of secret code. Sure looks like one.

  33. Avatar
    Trevor Hollis

    Put all these together and then you pretty much have the weather to talk about lol

  34. Avatar
    Floyd Miller

    So everyone should keep to themselves and never have a meaningful relationship with anyone.

  35. Avatar
    Michelle Reynolds

    Lost me with #2 *eyeroll*

  36. Avatar
    Yael Wijnauf

    I disagree. If you can’t talk about those things with people, that’s because they’re not for you

  37. Avatar
    Santanu Borah

    Do the so called “endorphin” release even if I tell myself about the goals, because I often get much excited about achieving the goal before achieving it in real??

  38. Avatar
    Moranda Relaford

    So basically, never talk. have no friends.

  39. Avatar
    Bianca Rocha

    Yeaaah, I don’t agree. I believe if you want to gain someone’s trust and grow an actual meaningful friendship you should share personal things about yourself. Also it shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks
    about your life and decisions. Real friends will listen, and give advice if asked for it.

    1. Avatar
      Jessica Muehlauer

      couldnt have said it better!

    2. Avatar
      Bianca Rocha

      Thank you. I use to be that way and well I never was able to even have good conversations since that makes you seem cold and stand offish. So I started speaking more about personal experiences and from the heart and was able to connect more with people.

    3. Avatar
      Christian Spangenberger

      100% agreed!!

  40. Avatar
    Rebecca De Louise

    Well, that about covers everything people talk about, especially when get to know eachother….I have no friends for that reason. You can’t talk about anything anymore…past, present and future…it all turns and ends up being like ammo…using your info against you, attitudes, opinions, form…then, friendship are dead…crushed by too much information…its best for me to keep to myself….say nothing and involve no one…its the only way…and this confirms it…

  41. Avatar
    Tony Zito

    Balance between the retention of these life factors and the divulgence of them and to whom one divulges when they choose to matters. It is healthy to talk through things. In many cases the need for a therapist and psycho-therapy / talk therapy are in order, but instead we chit chat because we’re social but then we wonder what’s wrong.. our friends, family, barrista, co-workers, etc are not alwaya going to happen to be therapists.. ready, willing, or even capable of handling our heavy details.. its better to go and seek the right person, time, and place to divulge the heavy stuff..

  42. Avatar
    Jeremy Alan Willcox

    Reading between the lines: don’t go out, don’t make new friends; just sit in your home when not working and read our crap on the internet.

  43. Avatar
    Edna Abing

    Action speaks louder than words.

  44. Avatar
    Steven Napoletan

    This just goes to show that in the words of Robert Palmer, “It Takes Every Kind Of People.” So much for constructing the proverbial all encompassing box. Personally, I seem to not necessarily need to “share” a lot about me. … Facebook belies that fact huh?

  45. Avatar
    Laurel Gray

    Why? We are all human. Not telling people these things will somehow make you more respected?

  46. Avatar
    Rica Penilla Oracion

    Oahhh

  47. Avatar
    Caroline Moses

    Totally agree 100%

  48. Avatar
    Marianne Isaacs

    Mmmmmm how interesting can the weather be? This is a recipe for lonely isolation.

  49. Avatar
    Dee Dre

    Totally disagree 100%

  50. Avatar
    Shannon Rearick

    I agree. Sharing too much allows everyone in your business.

  51. Avatar
    Cade Foster

    Selfishness is not a good recipe for friendships – it only distances one from the other and it falls into discomfort and untruthful relationships.

  52. Avatar
    Amanda Errington

    Basically share nothing then Who writes this nonsense. I personally think that a world without sharing is sad. What’s left to chat about?

  53. Avatar
    Cocks John

    What goes through life constantly worrying about what you say and others reactions. No thanks, nothing to hide, nothing to prove. Let others have that problem.

  54. Avatar
    Damian Donohue

    A lot of people I know act and coverse like it’s a soap opera, a scene from days of our lives or something like that, you don’t need to air the dirty laundry of your life to the world, and the way you act and coverse create either a positive or negative atmosphere about your self, so not that I really don’t care or have anything to prove, just wish to give positive vibes and no ammunition for anything negative, so the points outlined are positive considerations what not to disclose, smile, be happy, care and love each other.

  55. Avatar
    Lou

    Trust me this makes so much sense it’s untrue!! I wish so many times I had kept my mouth shut and not told my business to others, everyone is not your friend, be your own best friend, the relationships that seem to work best are the ones that don’t allow outside influences, people don’t need to know every aspect of your life

  56. Avatar
    Rachael Largan

    im so confused what I’m supposed to do or what im not supposed to do ?//!!!!?????

    HELP ME PLEASE………….

  57. Avatar
    Acheter Salomon

    I got this website from my buddy who informed me regarding this website and
    now this time I am browsing this website and reading very informative
    content at this time.

  58. Avatar
    Cynthia

    Thank you. I agree 💯 and believe there are a couple other areas that are best kept self. It’s sad but loyality,true friendship and other’s genuinely sharing an accomplishment is almost unheard of these days. Envy and jealousy runs rampt even between siblings. Breaks my ❤️.

  59. Avatar
    Louise

    It really saddens me to hear that most of you seem not to have experienced trust in your relationships/ friendships.
    Love and connection are basic human needs, and not everyone is lucky enough to have found it in their families or intimate relationships because of Narcissistic Family units.
    Having the ability to share your troubles and triumphs with someone you trust is not a pre-requisitioned right of birth; what happens to those who don’t have close family?
    If we lived in a perfect world and domestic abuse wasn’t happening, people weren’t having to use food banks, sleep in doorways, young people weren’t taking drugs and committing suicide etc then it’s possible that not discussing your private life with your friends and colleagues would and could be nice. However, if you’re wanting to experience real, deep relationships and connections with other people (a basic human need), it won’t ever happen unless you zip open your protective layer and lay yourself bare with people; it’s just making sure it’s with the right people.

    A different perspective.
    P.s I’m also a relationship expert 😊🙏

  60. Avatar
    Danielle

    Depends on how long you have lived – and your experiences
    I used to share openly with trusted friends and family
    But when the crunches came – with events in my life
    The unsavoury aspects of human nature prevailed
    In even my most closest
    Because I allowed it into my most personal spaces when I should have had some boundaries for privacy and clear thinking
    Never again

  61. Avatar
    Paschal Gyireh

    No man is self sufficient and so God made them male and female, man and woman. This suggest that we interdepend. Does “not with anyone” include family? Then you don’t exist. I believe everything must be shared but the “HOW” is that, that needs to be checked. Any time you share even murder, you don’t only heal the grieving families, you also heal. So therefore let’s encourage sharing and of everything. For what you can’t share MUST BE UNGODLY

Leave a Reply