Do you have a new zest for life, or are you experiencing a mid-life crisis for men? There are indicators which help you understand what you’re going through. Although some people might find it comical, the mid-life crisis in men is no laughing matter.
This time in a man’s life can be distressing and overwhelming. There is an urgency, a pressure to reinstate the vitality and appearance of youth. It can also cause depression and anxiety as well.
I’ve been around my fair share of middle-aged men. Considering I am in my forties, I have learned a few things about having a mid-life crisis as well – although I think I went through this in my thirties. Women experience quite a few changes when they go through this phase in their lives. As for the mid-life crisis in men, it’s a little bit different.
Signs of the mid-life crisis in men
Most people think of the symptoms and signs of the male mid-life crisis as having affairs, buying sports cars or wearing toupees, and these are all cliché signs. However, there is usually some truth in these symptoms. Here are a few signs that a man you know or love may be going through a mid-life crisis.
Many times the first sign of a mid-life crisis in men is boredom. You will notice how they seem unfulfilled compared to how they used to be. They will voice their boredom and even talk about doing certain off-the-wall things. They will talk about more “guy time” at bars and clubs and going on adventures, where once they may have been homebodies.
When this happens, you shouldn’t ignore it and pretend like it will just go away. You need to talk with them and find out if there is something a bit more feasible that could add spice to their lives. The point is, taking dangerous leaps is just not necessary.
Rash financial decisions
All of a sudden a man might want to splurge on some expensive item or several items. This can often happen when finances aren’t healthy for such a decision. He may even consider leaving his job in search of his dream career, and this can be dangerous too. To him, however, this is not a rash decision. Instead, it was a well-thought-out process that just seemed sudden to his wife or girlfriend.
To downplay this decision or ignore it, will get you nowhere with the man in your life. It’s best to try and understand the thought process that goes into such an idea. Talk to him and try to compromise on large purchases or career changes, making sure he understands your fears, and you understand his needs to improve.
For many men, their hair is a part of their masculinity or virility. To lose their hair is damaging and throws them into a mini-crisis. Some men start to wear toupees while others join “The Hair Club for Men”. If you notice your husband or boyfriend’s hair is thinning out on top and they notice it too, don’t talk about it. Many men are sensitive about this.
I love hair, I must admit, and I have a tendency to play with my boyfriend’s hair quite a bit. The thing is, I make sure he knows that I love him for all the other reasons, and try to limit my time admiring his hair. I think that by giving men a bit of extra attention if they experience hair loss, would help.
This is one of the signs that I experienced with my ex-husband. To be honest, he enjoyed extreme sports even at a young age. When the mid-life crisis came, it got so much worse. He bought a motorcycle and spent days on end doing dangerous tricks. He also started collecting all sorts of guns, including assault weapons. All I wanted to do was have a peaceful marriage and maybe go on a few trips here and there.
Unfortunately, the mid-life crisis for men may take this turn. Some will be satisfied by a little adventure, while others will come just short of killing themselves on some death-defying act. To help with this problem, I suggest compromise as the only solution.
Unfortunately, I left my husband, but it wasn’t all about the mid-life crisis, or was it… Not all stories have a happy ending, but if you try to meet them in the middle, there’s a possibility you can calm the extreme monster.
I hate this one. When men or women go through a mid-life crisis, they are sometimes prone to cheat in their marriage or relationship. This is because their mate has stopped giving them the same attention as they did before. It is also because, during the mid-life crisis, the desire for attention is much stronger. It comes from the fear of losing the ability to be attractive or sexy. Attention automatically makes a person feel wanted.
When someone outside the relationship provides attention, it’s easy to fall for it. It feels good to be wanted and desired, and sometimes this can cause an ongoing affair. The solution: Well, there is not one solution that works, but I suggest keeping the spark alive, rekindling some of the old ways, and flirting with each other like you’re teenagers again.
Just do something different and spontaneous on a regular basis. It might take a lot of work, but you can possibly save your marriage, and prevent an affair.
Drinking or substance abuse
Men enter mid-life and suddenly feel the need to experience new things or do exciting things they used to do, including drugs and alcohol. In their younger years, they may have been social drinkers and then later gave it up. At mid-life, some men decide to take the habit back up and even experiment with certain drugs.
Not only can this be disturbing to family members, but can also be dangerous. To help them get through this period in their lives, recollect on why they gave up the habit in the first place, then support their attempts to let it go once again. Give them time.
Calm down, ladies, it doesn’t have to be tragic
The mid-life crisis in men may seem terrifying to women. There are things you can do to help, however, and words you can say. The most important thing is to remind the man in your life that he is not alone with his problems.
After all, if you’re married, it is for better or for worse, according to wedding vows (This promise should never be abused). Be supportive, be patient, but also gently challenge his actions. When the time has passed, he will appreciate how you stood by his side during the whole ordeal.
By Sherrie H.