You’ve heard of narcissistic intimate relationships that cause all sorts of trouble, but what about that narcissistic friend?

There are numerous articles which talk about narcissistic intimate relationships – you can use the signs to discover if your husband or wife is actually a toxic person. But many people never even think about close friends as being narcissistic.

A narcissistic friend can also make your life less than savory, in fact, they can make things worse instead of better when you confide in them.

Are bullies considered narcissistic friends?

Outright bullies would never really be considered friends, so nix that part. But, sometimes friends can actually display bully behavior which is disguised because they are supposed to be “friends”. I hope that makes sense.

The thing is, some friends purposely sabotage things in order to retain control of the friendship or to gain attention. It can be quite complex really.

Revealing the narcissistic friend in your circle

Now, seeing as you know that a friend can definitely have these traits, the next step is to reveal them. A narcissistic friend will go to great lengths to keep their true character hidden because ultimately, they want to keep their friends. After all, a narcissist is empty without someone serving as a fan club for them.

Here are a few signs that will rip that mask right off the fake friend, and either help you move on or get the kind of help that your friend desperately needs for this personality disorder.

Keep in mind, it’s extremely hard to convince a narcissist that they need help, so be careful what you say and get ready to travel a long road if you decide to help them.

Overly friendly and giving…in the beginning

The narcissistic friend is always an angel, in the beginning, lavishing you with gifts and compliments. They will insist on paying for dinner, they will say that you are their best friend and they will seem like the model person. At first, this sort of friend will seem like the perfect companion.

It will take some time for these amazing traits to wear off, oh, but they will.

As the narcissist grows weary of doing good, the will start to reek of selfishness. Their level of negative behavior will almost mirror their level of positive behavior displayed before. Remember, when your narcissistic friend is spoiling you rotten, this is only temporary.

Victim Mentality

Unfortunately, your friend, if stricken with narcissistic tendencies, will live with a victim’s mentality. Nothing will ever be your friend’s fault and the world will be out to get them. At least this is what they love to portray to everyone around them. Sometimes, they truly believe this for themselves as well.

The flip side of this, however, is that everything WILL be your fault. This makes dealing with friends who swear by this mentality, to be difficult individuals to deal with. Getting through to them will take loads of patience.

They are always negative

This trait encompasses the victim mentality and also sets the stage for the remainder of the narcissistic friend’s personality. Everything, no matter how good and wholesome, will turn into something bad.

The narcissist will be unable to see the silver lining in any situation, on the contrary, they will notice even the most minute problems and then magnify them.

Negativity will come naturally to this personality type. To them, they will seem more of a realist instead, just saying things in an obvious manner.

The only difference between these guys and the realist is that at some point, the realist will have something positive to say – the narcissist will not….unless of course it’s something used to vault their own ego, and we are getting to that trait next.

An attention seeker

The narcissist friend will be a huge attention seeker. They will dominate all conversations and try to keep subjects focused on them – this includes their accomplishments, their looks, and even their great health.

No matter how “off-the-wall” the topic may be, the narcissist will find a way to steer the topic back to them or make it relate to something great they have done.

Face it, the spotlight is always and forever beaming down on the narcissist, and the rest of us don’t stand a chance…unless of course, we get away from them.

They do not respect boundaries

The narcissistic friend does not recognize boundaries. If show them your own personal boundaries, they may say “okay”, but then almost immediately they may cross those boundaries. When they do, and even if you get angry, they will make a joke about it.

This is because, although they firmly state what they don’t like or will not put up with, they will never hesitate to see your boundaries as a joke.

Cannot trust them

The thing is, the narcissistic friend will appear to be someone you can trust above all overs. This is part of the trick they play to get closer to you. The truth is, they will be the first person to break your trust, and when you confront them, they will deny this. They may even grow angry by your accusations.

If you choose to stay friends with a narcissist, you may want to choose which bits of information that you share with them. As long as you are telling them things that you want everyone else to know, you will be fine.

There is no give and take

In the narcissistic friendship, there will be no fair amount of giving and take. The narcissistic friend will always be willing to take from you, but they will fail at giving. You can still choose to give them gifts if you want, but don’t expect the favor to be returned.

Also, don’t expect them to go out of their way to help you either. It’s just not something they like to do because it really doesn’t benefit them.

Dealing with the toxic friend

It’s your choice to stay friends with this type of person or to choose to walk away. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you always retain your sense of self-value in order to keep from being damaged by this relationship. Since the narcissistic friend is prone to drain others, you will have to be a strong person.

This is possible!


Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

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