If you believe that good people deserve good things happening in their lives, you may find yourself doubting this sometimes.

Truly, so many selfless, inspiring, and strong people sometimes get into all kinds of difficult relationships instead of finding a nice, kind partner.

It seems unfair and disappointing, and that’s why many people wonder – why does this happen?

Strong people usually overcome various challenges more easily than the others do.

They are good in self-developing in working on themselves, but they still need to continue growing and developing. That’s why difficult relationships happen in the first place: they push strong people out of their comfort zones and improve them.

However, the result can be different as difficult relationships happen for various reasons.

Here are the main reasons strong people find themselves struggling in their relationships.

1. Strong people attract the ones that need help.

If you are a strong person, you’ve probably heard from the others that you inspire them and help them. Strong people have that amazing aura of confidence around them, that’s why weaker people are attracted to them.

It is perfectly fine to help others to overcome their problems, to support and encourage your partner as long as you are okay with it.

However, you shouldn’t overdo this. If you feel drained and exhausted, if you think that you’re the only one who puts efforts into maintaining this relationship, maybe you should stop.

If your partner is really the right one for you, he’ll understand that it is time for him to become more independent, to learn how to inspire and to support you if you need it.

2. Strong people need to learn how to be in a relationship.

Sometimes, the reason your relationship seems difficult to you is the opposite: it’s you who needs to rely on your partner more.

Strong people are usually very good at being independent, but not all of them know how to compromise and some are afraid to lose their independence because of the relationship they have.

The process of learning how to do so and how to overcome your fears can be painful and tough, but if you succeed, you’ll be rewarded with the result.



3. Strong people need to learn another lesson.

Some people (even strong ones) forget about their own plans and interests when they start new relationships and find themselves completely devastated when these relationships end and they have to build a new life on their own.

Others view relationships as another challenge and don’t leave their partner even when it has to be done. Certain people don’t trust their partners enough despite being with them for many years, some are too jealous, etc.

These people keep entering new relationships only to find themselves facing the same troubles time after time. This won’t change until you understand what lesson you have to learn.

This lesson doesn’t always have to be about you, though: sometimes, you may learn that people you usually like turn out to be not your type at all.

4. Strong people need to figure out what relationships they want.

Not all of us are lucky to know exactly what we want. When we were younger, we imagined how our perfect relationship should be like, but how many people can tell that their preferences didn’t change at all since then?

When we don’t know exactly what we want, we end up learning this through relationships. This process continues until we understand what partner we need and what we expect from our relationships. Once you know this, you won’t be able to settle for something different.

Difficult relationships are painful and complicated, but you should remember that they don’t last forever.

They teach you something, make you stronger and prepare for a new, happy life that awaits you.

H/T: Huff Post

Latest posts by Valerie Soleil, B.A., LL.B. (see all)

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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Hanna

    My husband and I have been married for about 7 years now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. Do you have suggestions?

  2. Shraddha Sharma

    Sometimes, not always.

  3. Shellie Moorman

    … for me, this is true.

  4. Daniela Silva

    ❤️❤️

  5. Festus Sebit

    Learn to stay and leave him alone.( New life )

  6. G.H

    Leave. Immediately. Even if you don’t think you can do it financially with the kids.
    That way maybe you can find a new life partner who is excited to participate in life with you! I was advised to do this, and in retrospect dearly wish I did.
    Wish you the best

  7. KUNDA L. LONDA

    Very useful article. The point is: change must start with oneself to make things work. If each partner is willing and ready to change for the sake of other, there would certainly be harmony in a relationship.

  8. Danielle

    I understand just recently had a very complicated painful realtionship common law together for 7 yrs end despite couples counseling and a lot other efforts , I put everything aside for the realtionship , he was a mommys boy even through a middle man by age he’s was attracted to a strong woman as result and I’m the oldest of 5 siblings , etc I attract friends a relationships that are unhealthy where I’m the parent mostly ,I love to help others a out myself last , feel exhausted on every level when it ends used etc..
    This article is helpful as I sure to others I know other strong independent people that can relate and it’s hard to break that cycle it showing up in my life for over 20 years , trying the pdices back together in my life , heart and mind , I was deeply in love thought it was my life partner , stayed too long and was very unhealthy for everyone involved and painful and messy ….trying to heal and work on myself and get something postive and learn a lessons as I believe everything is our teacher …life is a journey …
    Thank you
    Very helpful and insightful for me and I’m sure others

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