Dating is an adventure. And adventures can be fun … or they can be disastrous.
I want your dating adventure to be fun, which is why I wrote this article for you.
Below are eight surprising myths about dating that are important for you to know. Learning these myths will help you have a lot more fun and success while you’re out there on the market.
1. You’ll know at first sight.
Sometimes we can be quick to judge; we’ll make our minds up about someone before we properly get to know them.
We’re all guilty of this; we do it all the time. In dating, this sets us up for disaster. Being quick to judge ensures that no one will ever measure up. And this will keep you in a constant state of disappointment.
Remember that it takes some time to get to know someone, so let that happen. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience before you decide how you feel. You might be surprised at what you find.
2. You won’t know at first sight.
I know this myth contradicts the first; that’s because keeping an open mind is important, but it’s also very important to listen to your hunches.
Our intuition can give us information that our rational minds may not understand. This means you may find yourself on a date with someone who you didn’t think was your type, but you find yourself very attracted to him or her. Listen to that.
Similarly, you may be on a date with someone who you thought you’d be attracted to, but you’re not feeling it. Listen to that.
Your intuition may not seem logical at the time, but chances are, it’s guiding you in the right direction. It’s always a good idea to listen to what it has to say.
3. In today’s world, you have to online date.
Guess what? You don’t!
In fact, unless online dating is fun and exciting for you, you shouldn’t be doing it. Here’s why:
The path of finding love is supposed to be fun; it’s not supposed to feel like an obligation, a chore, or a sentence. If online dating makes you cringe, trust that it’s not the correct route for you to find love.
Remember that people are everywhere, which means potential partners are everywhere, too. At the grocery store, walking their dogs, at the beach, and so on.
You can meet people in random places if you’re open to it. Every time you leave your house, say to yourself, “I wonder who I’ll meet today …” This sets you on the right path for connections in a variety of places.
4. You should treat dating like a business.
Unless your business is exciting, fun, and awesome (which it might be), please don’t treat dating like a business.
Dating should not feel like a grind. Does this mean you shouldn’t set goals for your dating life? No, you should definitely have those. But keep them light and open, which will keep your spirits up.
We meet the right people when we feel great inside. Make sure you’re having fun in the process of dating, and you’re absolutely on the right track.
5. Dating is 100% about getting to know another person.
Yes, dating is about getting to know other people, but it’s also about getting to know yourself.
Dating can be a vulnerable experience for many of us. We’re putting ourselves out there, trying to make an impression, hoping to be liked! All of your quirks and fears come to the surface, which is painful at times, but also helps you get to know yourself better.
When fears come up, ask yourself questions like: What am I scared about? What insecurities am I feeling? How can I try to be more of the real me?
Rather than letting these challenges drag you down and cause you to “hate date,” let them be opportunities for you to stretch and grow into a new level of confidence.
6. Rebounds are always bad.
Not always, but you have to be cautious.
You will attract the right people when you feel good about who you are. Sometimes when relationships end, we feel really good! And this is a great place from which to attract new people.
But sometimes when relationships end, we feel bad. In this case, dating could be a defense against difficult feelings. This is when you should steer clear of a rebound because you’re attracting someone as a distraction, rather than as a match for who you are.
Make sure you properly grieve the loss of your last relationship and regain your strength before you put yourself back on the market. When you take the time to heal, you’ll be primed for a new relationship when the time is right.
7. Dating is a numbers game.
Quality trumps quantity. This holds true for dating, as well.
If you’re filling up your schedule with dates, it scatters your energy and doesn’t feel good to the people you’re sharing your time with. This mentality does not help you make genuine connections or find someone you love.
Because of this, I recommend dating with a mentality of quality. Make every person you choose to go out with important. This will increase your likelihood of being present on a date and give you an opportunity to make a lasting connection.
8. The right person makes you feel complete.
People do not complete us. Romantic partners definitely don’t complete us.
If you’re seeking a relationship from the space of “I’m looking for fulfillment,” it’s a good idea to spend some time alone and find fulfillment within yourself first. Approaching a relationship from the stance of “What am I going to get?” is always a bad idea.
When you’re fulfilled in your own life, a fantastic relationship will be an incredible bonus. This is the secret to being fulfilled by love.
The bottom line about dating is this: have a good time, stay open to the possibilities, be you, and believe that your match is looking for you, too. Doing so will ensure a fun, exciting, successful dating adventure for you.