Having self-esteem issues makes it difficult to make it through a day, and having narcissistic people around you worsens your situation.
Besides feeling depressed, you must deal with someone who keeps putting you down. You may wonder why you seem to have narcissistic people around you all the time. What attracts them to you? Have you unconsciously welcomed them into your life?
Having an understanding of a narcissist’s perception of the world may help you see why they keep picking on you. Find out how to break free from their egoistic grip.
How to spot a narcissist?
It is hard to rid yourself of the company of narcissists unless you recognize them. Having self-esteem issues will make you easy prey for these characters.
First of all, narcissists have a desire to feel that they are the best people in the world. Their sense of self-importance is grandiose. Do your friends or relatives keep fishing for compliments? They are probably narcissists who need constant affirmation.
And then, narcissists are always preoccupied with their looks, so you may find them preening themselves in front of mirrors. They are idealistic; their quest for perfection is disturbing.
Narcissists, in addition, believe that they are special and should only associate with people of status. They see it as their entitlement. Narcissists believe that people are envious of them, so they display rudeness and arrogance.
Further, egoists are manipulative. They know that your ‘low self-esteem‘ button is easy to push. These people may use your lack of self-confidence to goad you into doing things their way.
The connection between narcissism and self-esteem
You may think that a narcissist’s main fault is over-confidence, but it is just the opposite. People become narcissists because they have inferiority complexes.
Narcissists have an overwhelming need to prove that they are better than most, so they surround themselves with people whom they see as weaker than themselves. They have limited self-beliefs; that is why they draw to people who have self-esteem issues.
Why Narcissists Target People with Self-Esteem Issues
Narcissists are bullies who choose their victims with care. But why do these predators pick on people with little confidence?
1. Weak Support Systems: First of all, people who have issues with their self-esteem tend to lack support. These people mostly keep to themselves, so they lack the counsel of others. They also tend to be less popular. Without anyone to counter their views, narcissists can work their wonders.
2. Poor Self-worth: Next, people who have been through traumatic events or abuse may feel unworthy of the company of others. They make perfect targets for narcissists because they accept their inferior positions. Narcissists get the chance to assert themselves.
3. Lack of Boundaries: In addition, people with self-esteem issues lack personal boundaries. They let narcissists infringe on their limits because they find it hard to say “no”.
4. Passive Body Language: Further, people with low self-worth have passive body language. They slouch, look downward, and avoid eye contact whenever possible. Passive people are ideal targets because of their negative communication.
5. More Likely to Listen: Lastly, people who have low self-esteem are often dependent. Narcissists seek them out because they need the advice of others. With limited self-esteem, people with poor self-beliefs allow narcissists to prove their superiority.
How to break free from a narcissist
You may have self-esteem issues, but find the strength within yourself to leave your narcissistic company. Wrestle free the minute you realize that you are in their grasp, because they may drain you completely.
First of all, refuse to let them continue the abuse. This step is a bold one to take for someone with low self-esteem, but it is necessary. Remember that you have to demand fair treatment for yourself.
Your narcissistic friends will project their negative energy onto you if you continue to connect with them.
Next, make it a point to stop all contact. Narcissists are masters at sending people on guilt trips and may do so to you. They may infiltrate your email and social media accounts. They will then send you nasty messages so that you will feel like a terrible human being.
In addition, stay in touch with your feelings. You are likely to feel bitter toward your narcissistic friends after being victimized by them for a long time. Note that narcissists are masters at turning tables.
They may tell you that you are overreacting and that the cause of your anger is you. Stay connected to it so that you can prevent them from reversing situations.
Lastly, allow yourself to grieve the relationships you have lost. Give yourself permission to heal so that you can continue to live your life. Accept things as they are, and move forward.
You may have self-esteem issues, but you do not have to let narcissists run your life. Take a leap of faith, disconnect from them, and embrace a new beginning.
Copyright © 2014-2019 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.