If you love an overthinker, then there are a few things you need to know in order to weather the difficulties.
I never thought about it before. Actually, I did, I thought about it several times over, come to think of it, because I’m an overthinker-I just forgot.There’s so much in my brain, so much that
There is so much in my brain, so much that it’s difficult to keep my priorities straight and keep focused. And there’s my loved ones, those who promised to love and care for me indefinitely-my over-thinking drives them nuts.
Here’s what I want them to know
But this doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be loved, it just means I have a different outlook on life. I want them to understand, and I want to meet them in the middle with compromise. I just need them to know a few things so they will have patience with me. I want to build a bridge from my reality to the one where my loved ones reside.
Overthinkers have a Constant flow of doubts
They are the ones who might ask you if you love them, over and over. They may ask if you are mad or tired of them, but this is common. When thoughts run rampant, especially in the highly intelligent individual’s mind, these doubts can take control easily.
Thoughts form words, even redundant words, and phrases, and they must be heard. There is an urgency for the over-thinker to be heard because, inside their minds, they are constantly questioning their worth. The smarter they are, the more intricate and detailed the thoughts will be.
They are great listeners
Not everything about an over thinker is negative. Because of the constant flow of ideas and thoughts, an over thinker is a thorough thinker. There is very little that passes unnoticed in their mind, and if you have problems, talking with them may just be the best solution.
They will analyze, break down and calculate every little detail of the complicated situation at hand. It’s not just good for you to talk with an over thinker, either. It is healthy for them to use their character to approach and conquer a challenge.
Socializing is difficult
It’s totally different when socializing with an overthinker because many of them also suffer from social anxiety. The atmosphere in public is intimidating, especially when it’s a large group of people involved and this further complicates the thinking process. They don’t usually like small talk or answering a lot of questions about themselves either.
The preferred social atmosphere is one that doesn’t seem like a stressful situation. When the pressure is lifted, the overthinker can feel comfortable. Movies, especially comedies, are great options for going out, as it requires little conversation and a light atmosphere to make them feel at home.
They are not controlling
Now this will seem confusing at times, but the over thinker is not controlling like they seem to be. Although they strive to keep things in order, primarily by always having a backup plan or similar safety nets, they aren’t trying to rule the lives of others.
It’s best to play along with these ideas or plans in order to show them that you care. There is a limit, however, and maybe with a little help, you can show them that they don’t have to be “in control” of every little aspect of their lives. Getting to the point: Overthinkers aren’t the biggest fans of spontaneity.
Make yourself clear
Overthinkers tend to read things into vague conversations. If your objective is to get a point across, you absolutely have to be clear about what you are saying. Any little discrepancy can make the over thinker paranoid and untrusting. This is when they tend to fill in the blanks with what they think you mean.
If you have known an over thinker for a long time, you are already familiar with how this works. The best option, as you may have learned by trial and error, is to provide details and stress your meaning until the over thinker knows exactly what you are tying to say.
Being an overthinker is not bad, it’s just different. This is why loved ones have to understand how to deal with them. I’m an overthinker, and I have experienced all these things before. If it wasn’t for my family striving to understand me, I don’t know where I would be today. With their help, I have learned to process my thoughts much better and enjoy the simpler things in life.
By Sherrie H.
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