Have you ever wondered how others see you? Do you know?
Spend some time and pick a person you know; bring the image of this person to your mind and think about how he/she usually treats you, and, why he/she does it in that way. What is it that makes someone create the image of you in their mind? It is the image that you have created for yourself.
The “Reality Tunnel”
Like any other, you create your own “reality tunnel”, based on your perspective about yourself and the world you live in. This tunnel is the mirror of the model you have created with your thoughts during your lifetime.
You cannot convince anyone in this tunnel to see you differently by words or actions. The only thing you can do is to change the way you see yourself. Your subconscious mind has in it everything from the moment you were born; among other things it controls what you say, how you say it, your body language, the limitations you put on yourself, and your self-image. During a discussion you might have with someone, you are unconsciously receiving and processing the sounds you hear, the scents you smell; you are analyzing the body language and the tone of the voice of the person you are talking to; and a number of different stimuli.
If you manage to change your self-image, your mind will start to function in another way, causing you to act differently. But what happens in your life if you actually do this?
Changing Your Self-Image
Consider this funny thing. What you have to do in order to make the face you see in the mirror laugh? You might have already guessed… You have to laugh! Exactly the same thing applies to the life you are experiencing. If you change your self-image, your emotions and actions will follow. If you begin to feel good about who you are (and as you are), if you look at yourself in a positive manner, some great shifts on how others see you will “magically” take place.
All these automated responses of yours will change and you will begin to feel and speak with more confidence. Have you ever seen a successful personality who was not confident about him- or herself? It would be weird if you had. The ‘secret’ of success in every aspect of your life is to be confident.
We continuously fall in the trap of trying to make others like us. If you caught yourself doing it, be sure that this is a sign of uncertainty and insecurity. Try to remember what happened to your past relationships or to a business (or sales) deal. Do you remember any situation where you were trying to impress your mate or someone in order to make them buy your product? When you do that, what really happens is that you cause the other person to feel uncomfortable, because he feels that you are trying to take something from him or to control him. So, don’t do it!
How Will You Know That You Have Changed
If you begin to observe how you treat others and how others treat you, you will be surprised of how many things you can learn about yourself. This process is called mindfulness.
As you chat with someone else, create an attitude of inner confidence. This will force your mind to support your every action, even if you were not confident before. You will begin to radiate inner certainty and pure confidence, without trying to take something from the person sitting in front of you. You will make him feel more comfortable with you; besides, you will have a constructive discussion. Also, be positive about him and listen to what he has to say.
See your life as a great school, where you are constantly learning from yourself and others in order to become a better person; and of course, a better person will be able to create a better life.
Try it out. If you keep noticing that you get the same results, it means that your self-image hasn’t changed yet. Keep being mindful and hold this attitude for a long time, and, in the end, another ‘reality tunnel’ will be created for you, and maybe one day when you meet an old friend in town, he or she will probably tell you: “Hey! You look different”.