{"id":51717,"date":"2020-07-06T18:22:33","date_gmt":"2020-07-06T15:22:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/?p=51717"},"modified":"2020-07-06T18:22:33","modified_gmt":"2020-07-06T15:22:33","slug":"feeling-neglected-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/feeling-neglected-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Neglected in a Relationship? Why It Happens and What to Do"},"content":{"rendered":"
Something is wrong if you are feeling neglected in a relationship. However, there could many reasons for this. There are also many solutions.<\/p>\n
Have you ever found yourself feeling neglected in a relationship before? I mean, have you felt like you were emotionally alone<\/a>? I know I have felt this way before. In my last marriage, there were many times where I was alone, raising children, and spending countless hours writing, cooking, or gardening to keep my mind off my problems. Although I did create and learn many things, my relationship did not flourish as it should.<\/p>\n Over time, I resolved myself by doing my own things to stay sane. But just because I started all that cooking and gardening, and such, didn’t mean I was emotionally healthy. I yearned for attention<\/a>. And yes, my children provided attention to me, but I was married and I shouldn\u2019t have felt neglected by my own husband<\/strong>. It hurt, and it left scars as well.<\/p>\n So, I wanted to know why. How could a man or woman get married, then completely neglect their spouse in exchange for other things? I took the blame upon myself too, when in truth, the blame could have been anyone\u2019s issue. Then later in life, I found myself neglecting my second husband, but not intentionally.<\/p>\n You see, there are many reasons why a person may neglect their spouse or loved one<\/em>, maybe on purpose or not. Yes, that\u2019s right, you could be neglecting your loved ones<\/strong> because of a problem outside your control. Let\u2019s examine some of the ways neglect happens.<\/p>\n We\u2019re going to look at the most common reason<\/strong> why you may be feeling neglected in your relationship. It’s the addiction. Addictions come in all forms including alcohol, drugs, food, games, porn, gambling, and many other things.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve heard so many complaints about people feeling lonely<\/a> because their partner is always on the computer, or their partner is out most of the night drinking with friends, and of course, I can attest to living with a partner who had a substance abuse problem.<\/p>\n All these things cause neglect. If you recognize any of these things in your partner, it\u2019s the main reason you feel neglected. It\u2019s the obvious reason. And although many people will tell you that things like alcohol or porn are harmless, that’s not the case. These things can destroy relationships<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Now, this may be a new one for some of you. But, did you know that chronic pain can cause neglect? I suffer from chronic pain, and my husband gets neglected sometimes because of the constant discomfort<\/strong> I feel from day to day. I try to make sure he feels needed, but honestly, when the pain flares up to high levels, I tend to withdraw, and even sometimes refuse to let anyone touch me at all.<\/p>\n If you have a loved one with chronic pain, and you are feeling neglected in a relationship, have mercy, this is a legitimate reason, and it will take time to find a way to reconcile their pain with your needs.<\/p>\n If you are feeling neglected in your relationship, and your partner has a mental illness, then it\u2019s semi-normal. Yes, it\u2019s not healthy to feel neglected, but sometimes, in these cases, it happens.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, you have to learn to deal with some of these episodes. Take, for instance, depression \u2013 when you have a loved one with depression<\/a>, they will withdraw and even sleep more often than normal.<\/p>\n If you have a loved one with PTSD, they will want to be alone at times because of triggers or overwhelming thoughts from the past. Not to make excuses, but mental illness can be difficult, and it will take your patience during neglect to make it work.<\/p>\n Have you asked your mate lately if they are happy? Maybe they aren\u2019t and staying gone all the time or spending time alone may be the way they are handling their unhappiness. The lack of communication will make you feel even more neglected too.<\/p>\n In certain circumstances, especially if many problems are never solved, one partner may withdraw<\/strong> and give up on trying to find happiness in the relationship. If you\u2019re feeling neglected, and your partner seems distant<\/a>, this could be the reason.<\/p>\n Before you start accusing your partner of neglect, take a look at yourself<\/strong>. Are you doing something to make them withdraw? Could you be exaggerating the situation at all? Are you understanding how they feel?<\/p>\n There are actually many ways that you could be contributing to the neglect factor. Examine yourself first, then go from there. If it is you, then try to change some things about yourself that might be a little unfair.<\/p>\n The worst thing you can do is suffocate your partner when you feel neglected. I know, I know, you want attention and it just feels natural to ask for it, but you can\u2019t overwhelm someone with requests. So, create some space<\/strong> and let them come to you. It may create a bit of mystery about yourself and they will be intrigued.<\/p>\n You can take a closer look<\/strong> at how you feel about the lack of attention you think you deserve. For instance, does this neglect make you angry or sad? Do you know the exact reason for the neglect? You must understand exactly what you\u2019re feeling before you can go any further. Your emotions can distort reality sometimes.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a reason I said listen three times. That\u2019s because we learn more from listening than from talking. There is a reason why you are feeling neglected, and when starting a conversation, you need to listen to your mate<\/strong>.<\/p>\n If he starts to tell you why he\u2019s being withdrawn or creating space, then you should consider the validity of what he\u2019s saying. Don\u2019t automatically assume his view is wrong.<\/p>\n When you discover the problem, instead of harsh fighting, look for a solution. As a team, you work together, not against each other. In a relationship, it\u2019s supposed to be fair, and not judgemental either.<\/p>\n So, before you give up on a relationship, consider pulling together and becoming stronger. If it\u2019s an addiction that you\u2019re dealing with, and your partner admits to it, then you can seek help together.<\/p>\n If she doesn\u2019t admit to the problem and you know there is one, then you may have to resort to other solutions. Either way, remaining a team can lead to resolution much easier than fighting. Even with addictions, the truth usually comes out<\/strong>. Then you can decide how to proceed.<\/p>\n Despite whatever is making your partner neglect you, do not lose your self-respect<\/a> trying to fix things. In some cases, and I always hate saying this, you may have to sever the ties<\/strong>. Yes, you might have to end the relationship. The reason is that your mental health is more important than being with someone who cannot respect you. Just keep that in mind.<\/p>\nWhy are you feeling neglected in a relationship?<\/h2>\n
1. Addictions<\/h3>\n
2. Chronic pain<\/h3>\n
3. Mental illness<\/h3>\n
4. Unhappiness<\/h3>\n
How can you stop feeling neglected in a relationship?<\/h2>\n
1. Look at yourself<\/h3>\n
2. Step back<\/h3>\n
3. Examine your feelings<\/h3>\n
4. Communicate and listen, listen, listen<\/h3>\n
5. Remain a team<\/h3>\n
6. Take care of yourself<\/h3>\n
Are you feeling neglected?<\/h2>\n