{"id":49500,"date":"2020-02-18T20:45:14","date_gmt":"2020-02-18T17:45:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/?p=49500"},"modified":"2020-02-18T20:45:14","modified_gmt":"2020-02-18T17:45:14","slug":"signs-of-overly-critical-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/signs-of-overly-critical-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Signs of Overly-Critical Parents and How to Handle Them"},"content":{"rendered":"
Does your mom or dad keep telling you that you’re raising your children the wrong way? Do your parents keep telling you to get a better job than the one you have now? If the answer to these rhetorical questions is yes,\u00a0<\/span>you may be dealing with critical parents.<\/span><\/p>\n If your mom or dad never seems to have anything nice to say about you, you might need to keep reading this article. You’ll find out how to keep your parents’ unreasonable criticisms at bay<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n According to this study, overly-critical parents can have a detrimental effect on their children. Their children may become depressed and have issues nurturing loving relationships.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The study<\/a> revealed that children with critical parents might avoid looking into their parents’ eyes to lessen their exposure to harsh feelings or words. While some children can adapt and learn to ignore only negative emotions, they may fail to notice positive ones. The blocking of positive emotions can affect their relationships. They may also have a tendency to develop anxiety and depression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The study also emphasized that what people experience affects the way they react to information in the future. These experiences cause them to develop biases to different emotional stimuli.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n So, overly-harsh criticism can cause a child to develop as a cynical, critical adult.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n All of us know that overbearing parents<\/a> are less than relatable. The problem is deciding if your parent is giving constructive parental feedback or criticizing just because he or she can. Here’s how to tell.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n First, if you have an overly-critical parent, you\u2019d almost always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. The fear that you might have said something offensive would be palpable. You\u2019d be walking on eggshells all the time; emotional intimidation is\u00a0abusive behavior<\/a>.<\/p>\n Parents who are overly-critical seldom, if ever, have anything positive to say about their children<\/strong>.\u00a0If you have such parents, you\u2019d feel like nothing you say or do are ever good enough.<\/p>\n Critical parents are not confident in their children\u2019s abilities.\u00a0As a result, these children often develop self-esteem issues and suffer from a lack of self-confidence later on.<\/p>\n These parents will criticize your looks, and your failures (these would be mountainous). They might mock you and deliberately raise issues that make you uncomfortable. Needless to say that such an attitude is a recipe for severe\u00a0self-esteem issues<\/a> in children.<\/p>\n Any choice of yours gets criticized<\/strong>. Whether it\u2019s the people you hang out with, the clothes you wear, or the college course you pick. Your overly critical parents will always find a reason why your decisions are wrong.<\/p>\n But the worst part is that they will mock you for those. Even when you are an adult, your overly critical parent will continue to judge every decision of yours and make belittling comments<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Harshly critical parents are almost always dismissive<\/a> of their children\u2019s feelings. They are disrespectful<\/strong> and don\u2019t treat their kids with kindness.<\/p>\n An example of such behavior is telling their kids that they are too sensitive to a person\u2019s remarks when these are hurtful. They chide their children for trying to get attention instead of offering comfort.<\/p>\n A child of overly critical parents may often be wronged and blamed<\/strong>, which can lead to severe guilt issues later in life.<\/p>\n For example, imagine that you are an older child and were left alone at home with your little brother. While playing, he broke a vase in the living room. When your critical mother comes home, she will blame and punish you<\/em> for not watching over your brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Abusively-critical parents need to feel in control all the time<\/a>. They want to have the upper hand. They take you on guilt trips with their criticisms<\/strong> and make you feel less than worthy.<\/p>\n For example, a critical parent may blame the child for their own failures in life<\/strong>.<\/p>\n As you can imagine, remarks like this create unreasonable guilt and insecurities.<\/p>\n Since your parents are overly critical, they don\u2019t believe that you are capable of making good decisions on your own. Hence the need to control your every move<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Such parents are often aggressive or\u00a0passive-aggressive<\/a>. They\u2019ll expect you to second-guess their intentions<\/strong> correctly.<\/p>\n If your parents are outwardly pleasant but verbally harsh behind closed doors, it is a sign of emotional abuse. This behavior is common among narcissists and people with other personality disorders.<\/p>\n Alternatively, your critical parents may be emotionally unavailable as well and passive aggression is the only way they can handle conflict. Do they give you the silent treatment whenever a disagreement arises? Do they deliberately ignore you and refuse to talk to you for days? Chances are, you have passive-aggressive parents<\/em>.<\/p>\n Parents who have overly-critical personality traits seldom react to their children calmly. Instead, it\u2019s with the expectation that they\u2019ll do something they shouldn\u2019t. These overly-dramatic reactions can lead to heightened levels of cortisol and related health problems.<\/p>\n Does your critical parent make a mountain out of a molehill? Do they dwell on problems and negativity, blaming you for the tiniest mistake? Do they create drama out of nothing and exaggerate their hurt feelings?<\/p>\n Chances are, you were raised by overly critical and dramatic parents who have psychological issues of their own<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Are your parents good at providing but difficult to approach if you have problems? Are you afraid that\u00a0they\u2019d criticize you\u00a0for mishandling your issues?\u00a0If the answers to these questions are yes, you probably have hyper-critical parents.<\/p>\n You will never get warmth, understanding, and approval from a critical parent<\/strong>. They will be cold and distant as if they don\u2019t care about you at all. Well, in some families, unfortunately, this is the case.<\/p>\n Some other overly critical parents though have emotional issues of their own, which inevitably affects their behavior towards their children. But deep inside, these emotionally unavailable parents<\/a> still love and care about them.<\/p>\n In any case, when you are an adult child of critical parents, you will probably have a purely formal relationship<\/strong> with them. You will not confide anything personal to them as you know that anything you say will be faced with criticisms and misunderstanding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All children want their parents to be present in their lives, but in a positive, balanced way.<\/p>\n Hyper-critical parents are too involved in their kids\u2019 lives because they\u00a0feel that their kids are incapable of making appropriate decisions<\/strong>. Thus, they have the need to constantly control them. They genuinely believe that they know better what is right for their children, even if they are already adults.<\/p>\n This can show in the most mundane everyday things, such as watching over your shoulder when you are cooking a meal. But it can also extend to big decisions, such as your career or relationship choices, when your critical mom or dad knows better who you should marry or what job is right for you.<\/p>\n Hyper-critical parents\u00a0have few boundaries<\/a>\u00a0when making unkind remarks. Put differently, they lack tact and will comment on anything and everything.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll find them commenting on everything in someone\u2019s home. They\u2019d make suggestions about everything, saying, \u201cYou should add this,<\/em>\u201d \u201cYou should put this here<\/em>,\u201d or \u201cYou should decorate the hall this way.<\/em>\u201d The word \u201cshould\u201d almost always appears in their statements.<\/p>\n Overly critical parents don\u2019t respect your privacy<\/strong> either. They may enter your room without\u00a0knocking or rummage through your personal stuff. It\u2019s not uncommon for such parents to read your messages or personal diary and check your social media accounts.<\/p>\n Also, you would think that people misbehave because of your actions<\/strong>. You\u2019d think that your parents mistreat you because it\u2019s challenging to put up with you. And these dynamics transfer into other relationships.<\/p>\n It is sad that overly critical parents ruin their children\u2019s psyche with the behaviors we discussed above. But when you are constantly mocked and criticized as a child, having guilt and self-esteem issues<\/strong> is inevitable as an adult.<\/p>\n As a result of such a toxic and unjustified attitude from your parents<\/a>, you learn that everything is your fault. For example, if your partner gets abusive, it\u2019s because you did something wrong. You always blame yourself for everything<\/em>.<\/p>\n The negative feelings that come up because of your parents\u2019\u00a0critical feedback<\/a>\u00a0may make you lean towards self-destructive behavior<\/strong>. You may not have the coping skills to handle their extreme negativity.<\/p>\n This is another unfortunate consequence of insubstantial and harsh criticisms you faced as a child. Your critical parents never made you feel good about yourself and know your worth. So as an adult, you may be feeling worthless<\/strong> and punish yourself for being such a failure.<\/p>\n Needless to say that these toxic thought patterns can lead to mental disorders<\/strong> such as anxiety and depression.<\/p>\n Hard to believe though this may be, critical parents may think that they are trying to help. But they may be making the situation worse or preventing you from making healthy, independent decisions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Unhealthy parenting patterns<\/a> like this seldom stop until you set emotional boundaries, albeit tactfully. Tell them that you’ll let them know if you need their help.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The situation may be more difficult if you are your parents’ caregiver because the overbearing ways may intensify. Try the BARB strategy<\/strong>:<\/span><\/p>\n If this fails, seek the involvement of a third party, like a trusted aunt, who may be able to help you and your parents reach compromises.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Your parents may be overbearing or verbally mean, but they may love you to bits. It’s just that cynicism is a way of life for them. Remember their positive qualities and that deep within, they do realize yours. Accept them<\/a> for who they are.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Don’t compare your parents with others. All that does is magnify your unhappiness. Understand that your parents may show their concern for you in other ways.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Your overly-critical parents probably comment on the same things whenever they meet you. Know what they will criticize you for and avoid stepping into the firing range. <\/span>To understand the motivation behind your parents’ criticisms, first, realize that there are different kinds of critical parents<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n While your parents may criticize too much, their words may be valid. If you realize this, work on yourself. That way, they’d have no reason to criticize you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Your parents will seldom have anything nice to say, so don’t expect them to do so anymore. Remember that you are responsible for your actions, happiness, and life choices. Your survival doesn’t depend on their acceptance. Your approval of yourself is what matters.<\/span><\/p>\n You may be aware of your parents’ histories and the reasons for their critical behavior. If you are, you’d know that you aren’t the monster they’ve made you out to be. Remember that their critical remarks are weightless, and don’t believe them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Critical parents are a challenge, but one you can put up with on your terms. Reflect on what these are and move forward with these tips.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Does your mom or dad keep telling you that you’re raising your children the wrong way? Do your parents keep telling you to get a better job than the one you have now? If the answer to these rhetorical questions is yes,\u00a0you may be dealing with critical parents. If your mom or dad never seems […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":49533,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,46],"tags":[314,164,172,245,165,166],"yoast_head":"\nThe Effect of Hyper-Criticism on Children<\/span><\/h2>\n
11 Signs of an Overly-Critical Parent<\/span><\/h2>\n
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Parents who are overly-critical have mood swings<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Such parents mock<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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These parents are dismissive<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Controlling<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Critical parents are passive-aggressive<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Critical parents can be overly dramatic<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Toxic parents are emotionally absent<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Your parents were over-involved<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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Your parents have no boundaries<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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You blame yourself for the awful behavior of others<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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You are also self-destructive<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
How to Deal with Your Parents If They Are Overly-Critical?<\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Set boundaries<\/span><\/h3>\n
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2. Accept your parents\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
3. Stop comparing<\/span><\/h3>\n
4. Avoid your parents’ criticisms<\/span><\/h3>\n
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5. Change Yourself<\/span><\/h3>\n
6. Don’t seek your parents’ approval<\/span><\/h3>\n
7. Don’t take your parents’ criticisms personally<\/span><\/h3>\n