{"id":40681,"date":"2019-03-01T00:23:04","date_gmt":"2019-02-28T21:23:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/?p=40681"},"modified":"2019-03-01T00:23:04","modified_gmt":"2019-02-28T21:23:04","slug":"resentment-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/resentment-in-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Resentment in Marriage Can Be Dangerous: How to Deal with It"},"content":{"rendered":"

Resentment in marriage is a dangerous and toxic thing, dealing with it is the only way to get past it.<\/h2>\n

Resentment lies quietly under the radar but rears its ugly head when you least expect it. It can slowly erode your relationship from the inside out. But, resentment in marriage is not a death sentence.<\/p>\n

There are ways of dealing with it that can save your relationship and cure the problem. To deal with resentment, it\u2019s important to know why it is so dangerous<\/a> and ways in which you can deal with it.<\/p>\n

Ways resentment in marriage can be dangerous<\/h3>\n
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    Small problems feel bigger<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Something which may have just been a small annoyance will suddenly become the end of the world. Maybe you get irritated when your partner talks over the TV or doesn\u2019t put their socks in the hamper.<\/p>\n

    To most people, this is only a small annoyance, but when you are beginning to resent your partner, anything<\/em> can light the fuse of an argument.<\/p>\n

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      Arguments become quicker to start<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      When you resent your partner, you may be quick to pick fights rather than them happening organically. You might pick on small annoyances or purposefully be adversarial.<\/p>\n

      It\u2019s a way of getting out your frustration<\/strong> towards your partner but it can very quickly deteriorate a previously healthy relationship.<\/p>\n

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        Arguments escalate quickly<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Not only will arguments be quick to start but they will also be quick to escalate. When you resent your partner, it\u2019s easy to bring up old arguments and be unwilling to let go of the problem at hand. No matter how small it is, when we are angry about something else, it will fuel anger even when it\u2019s unrelated.<\/p>\n

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          We become unforgiving<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Even though your partner may apologize, resentment stands in the way of forgiveness. You may hold onto your anger and use it in the future. Holding onto anger creates an unnecessary burden on you which you will feel your partner is responsible for. It will slowly erode your relationship from the inside out.<\/p>\n

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            Passion will die<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Resentment will very quickly put out the spark your relationship once had. You won\u2019t feel close to your partner and you won\u2019t want to feel close to your partner. Intimacy<\/a> will ebb away, and affection will become non-existent.<\/p>\n

            This is the most dangerous consequence of resentment in marriage because it changes the entire dynamic of a romantic relationship<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

            How to let go of resentment<\/h3>\n
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              Find the problem<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              The first step to letting go of resentment in marriage is to figure out what the problem actually is.\u00a0 It might be that your partner was unfaithful, or that you feel otherwise betrayed<\/a>. It is easy to forget the real problem when resentment has set in, so the first step of letting go is finding the source.<\/p>\n

              This may take time, or it may be glaringly obvious.\u00a0 No matter how long it takes, finding the cause of the problem is the only way to solve it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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                Talk about it<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                No problem in a marriage can be solved without proper communication. The best way to let go of resentment in marriage is to face it head-on. Instead of avoiding the problem, it is important to be open and honest<\/strong> about where the resentment lies.<\/p>\n

                By opening communication, you can begin to rebuild trust and respect for one another. When your partner listens and respects your feelings, you may find yourself coming around to the idea of forgiveness.<\/p>\n

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                  Don\u2019t expect too much of your partner<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  You need to have realistic expectations when addressing resentment in the marriage. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, you have to let them know how you feel<\/strong>. You also can\u2019t expect them to give you everything you want.<\/p>\n

                  No man is a superhero and the most important thing to remember is that you have to be able to forgive the small things. Let them know the things you really need and be understanding when they can\u2019t meet all of your expectations. What\u2019s important is that they are trying to overcome the problem.<\/p>\n

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                    Try dating<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    When there is resentment in marriage, a rift can form between you and your partner. By dating, you can reconnect and begin to close the gap between you. Spending time together will remind you of why you fell for your partner in the first place.<\/p>\n

                    It will make you feel valued and appreciated when your partner does little things for you. Enjoying each other\u2019s company will allow you to start to forget the reasons you resent your partner. Sometimes, when facing resentment in marriage, it can be helpful to simply forget<\/strong> about the problem for a little while.<\/p>\n

                    Slowly but surely, the resentment will turn to a distant memory.<\/p>\n

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                      “Therapy” is not a bad word<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      If you feel as though you\u2019ve tried everything and you have really put in all the effort you can, it may be time to think about therapy.\u00a0 There is absolutely no<\/em> shame in seeking help<\/strong>. If both partners are willing to put the work in but can\u2019t achieve the results on your own, a third party can be incredibly helpful.<\/p>\n

                      Trained professionals know how to look for the problem and develop a plan to solve it.\u00a0 They can help you figure out what you want and need from the relationship to truly get over the resentment.<\/p>\n

                      Resentment is a dangerous thing, but it does not have to end a relationship.\u00a0 If both partners are willing to do the work, resentment can easily be healed and your marriage will be all the stronger for it.<\/p>\n

                      References<\/strong>:<\/p>\n