{"id":28031,"date":"2017-10-03T20:33:05","date_gmt":"2017-10-03T17:33:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/?p=28031"},"modified":"2017-10-03T20:33:05","modified_gmt":"2017-10-03T17:33:05","slug":"negative-behavior-situations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/negative-behavior-situations\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Negative Behavior Situations That Kill Your Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"
You put on your favorite jeans. You just got new shoes and you love them. Your favorite jacket is ready to go. You look good and you know it. Suddenly, the old patterns emerge. You start having doubts. Maybe the jeans are too tight. That other person, who\u2019s always stealing the spotlight, is looking way better than you. What\u2019s going on? Where did your self-confidence go? Can you recognize the negative behavior situations that are pulling you down<\/strong>?<\/p>\n The first step towards progress is recognizing your flaws. Once you understand what you\u2019re doing wrong, you\u2019ll start fixing the negative behavior<\/strong>. We\u2019ll list 7 self-imposed situations that are killing your confidence. Plus, we\u2019ll give you tips on how to avoid them.<\/p>\n Ask yourself: are you living life to the fullest<\/a>? Would you try paragliding? How about an unplanned trip to a random destination? How does that the idea of trying something new make you feel? If you\u2019re afraid or anxious by the sole thought of it, you\u2019re showing signs of toxic behavior.<\/p>\n The comfort zone<\/a> is a state that feels familiar and safe. Anything outside of it scares you. In the most extreme situations, people don\u2019t leave their homes because they are afraid of the world they would face outside.<\/p>\n Do something today! Take small steps, but keep making them. Sign up for a cardio fitness class. Become a member of a local book club. Book tickets and invite a friend to see an exciting place.<\/p>\n Talk to that likable guy\/woman in the cafeteria. There are too many beautiful things to experience.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t like this job and I feel like it\u2019s sucking on my potential. I don\u2019t get paid enough for the responsibility I have. Maybe I have to get another job.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This kind of thinking will push you towards leaving the job and applying for a new position. Does that scare you? Are you imagining the worst-case scenario?<\/p>\n \u201cWhat if I don\u2019t get another job? What if I do get one, but it\u2019s even worse? Maybe I\u2019m good where I am now.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n That\u2019s negative behavior. A confident person will never envision failure. They will go through life with a positive mindset<\/a>. This is not an idealistic attitude. It\u2019s completely realistic. When you adopt this mindset, you\u2019ll still be aware of the possibility of failure.<\/p>\n However, you\u2019ll pay more attention to the opportunities<\/strong> you\u2019re about to get when making a certain decision. You\u2019ll realize that even failure can lead you to a better situation than the one you\u2019re currently living through. There\u2019s always a lesson to learn, even when failure is in question.<\/p>\n Do you keep setting unreasonably high standards for yourself<\/a>? If you set the bar too high, it means you can hardly achieve the goals you impose on yourself. No matter how hard you try to be the best one, you\u2019ll always see someone achieving better results than yours.<\/p>\n Are you forcing yourself to be the best-dressed, most beautiful, smartest, and most successful individual you know? Are you one of those people who are never happy with second place? Why the competition, anyway? Why do you keep comparing yourself to others?<\/p>\n Perfectionism<\/a> is killing your self-confidence. Accept the fact that your best is good enough. The more perfect you\u2019re trying to be, the further you are from perfection. It\u2019s a state you can never reach.<\/p>\n Set the bar a little lower. You\u2019ll still achieve great results. You\u2019ll just stop being so harsh on yourself. When you start seeing your own progress, you\u2019ll get your confidence back.<\/p>\n Some people love drama. Have you heard of the Karpman drama triangle<\/em>? It\u2019s the pattern of negative behavior for people prone to exaggeration. Dr. Karpman identified three roles in the drama triangle: persecutor, rescuer, and victim.<\/p>\n The persecutor is the angry one. This is the person who will blame other people for every problem they face. When they get scared, they become tough. The victim shows the opposite behavior.<\/p>\n They lack self-confidence<\/a> and they don\u2019t have the strength to make their own decisions. They desperately want a rescuer. The rescuer, on the other hand, can sense when people are in trouble. They are constantly looking for victims to save.<\/p>\n Do you know where these roles come from? Our ego creates them. If you recognized yourself somewhere in this drama triangle, it\u2019s time to escape from it<\/strong>. You can do that only when you start recognizing your own value.<\/p>\n We all have our internal conversations. It\u2019s time to identify the pattern in yours. Are you constantly blaming yourself for not doing things better? Are you telling yourself you\u2019re worthless? Overweight? Not handsome enough? Not smart enough?<\/p>\n Are you recognizing destructive self-talk<\/strong>? That\u2019s not doing good for your self-confidence levels. Don\u2019t worry; you can abandon this negative behavior. The moment you catch a negative thought in your head, turn it around.<\/p>\n Keep repeating to yourself: \u201cYou\u2019re good enough<\/em>.\u201d Give yourself a motivational speech. Be realistic about your virtues and flaws, but do recognize the virtues.<\/p>\n Do you feel like most people know more than you? You know a lot about your profession and you have the skills to do it, but you lack general knowledge<\/em>? Is that why you can\u2019t make small talk?<\/p>\n1. Being Afraid of New Experiences<\/h4>\n
2. Imagining Failure<\/h4>\n
3. Perfectionism<\/h4>\n
4. Exaggeration<\/h4>\n
5. Negative Self-Talk<\/h4>\n
6. Not Feeling Smart Enough<\/h4>\n