{"id":23238,"date":"2017-03-27T22:19:24","date_gmt":"2017-03-27T19:19:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/?p=23238"},"modified":"2017-03-27T22:19:24","modified_gmt":"2017-03-27T19:19:24","slug":"toxic-family-members-recognition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/toxic-family-members-recognition\/","title":{"rendered":"Toxic Family Members and How to Recognize Them"},"content":{"rendered":"
First off, it\u2019s hard to talk about something that has impacted my life with such fierce control<\/strong>. This is especially true if you\u2019re still dealing with said toxic family members. Oftentimes, I\u2019d rather talk about something else to keep from becoming overwhelmed with indecision. But I can’t run anymore<\/strong>.<\/p>\n I get it, I do. I see toxic members of my family on a regular basis and it takes all my strength to endure their presence.<\/strong> And it doesn\u2019t matter if I\u2019m quiet or I speak out, they will get a rise out of me one way or the other. I cringe in their presence, I do, and I walk on eggshells.<\/p>\n I guess I sound cruel, but until you\u2019ve lived through this, you cannot understand the magnitude of their negative influence.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not so easy to recognize them either. Unless you\u2019ve been educated on what toxic people<\/a> are, you will suffer in many unimaginable ways and live in constant self-criticism<\/strong>. So, it\u2019s imperative that you remove the veil<\/strong> of what you thought they were, and see the truth for yourself.<\/p>\n Across the board, one of the most commonly known characteristics of toxic family members<\/em> is their desire to control everything<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Of course there are some things in the universe they cannot control, but believe me, many of them will try to convince you otherwise. Toxic people<\/strong> try to control the conversation<\/strong>, all outcomes<\/strong> and even how you feel<\/strong> about yourself.<\/p>\n They generally use manipulation<\/strong> in order to gain this control. You see it often in unhealthy relationships<\/a>, where toxic partners strive to control every aspect of the union. And it\u2019s not usually blatant control either, it\u2019s subtle<\/strong> and derives from the aftermath of their partner’s destroyed self-esteem, which is also there doing.<\/p>\n Most toxic people are liars<\/strong>. This trait is so deeply woven that they believe their own lies, well most of them. The objective of a toxic individual is to tell whatever lie is necessary in order to keep themselves on top.<\/p>\n Also, their lack of empathy<\/strong> prevents them from feeling bad about lying. It\u2019s like second nature<\/strong> to a toxic human being.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve watched the arrogant beast<\/a> strut back and forth in my kitchen many times, and proclaim how successful he is. Just kidding, it was just one of several toxic family members. These guys love to talk about their accomplishments<\/strong> and they need fan clubs<\/strong> as well. Toxic people thrive off being in the spotlight<\/strong>, all while criticizing everyone else.<\/p>\n And they hate debates, arguments or heated conversations where it looks like they will be proven wrong. Even calm conversations where differing opinions are present seem to upset them.<\/p>\n This is because, inside the mind of the toxic person, there is no other logical solution but their own. Everyone else\u2019s ideas are secondary or not important at all. You cannot communicate with a toxic family member<\/strong> either, this will be seen as argumentative behavior.<\/p>\n Many toxic people in the family environment are also addicts<\/strong>, either to drugs, alcohol or other substances. When you are an addict, negative behaviors will also be amplified.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve known many addicts, was married to one and even had a family member murdered for twenty dollars in the \u201cdope game\u201d. Addictions are shattering lives everywhere, and it\u2019s no wonder that many addicts are toxic<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Alcoholics, for instance, will stop at nothing for a drink, and then want to get behind the wheel of an automobile. Some already have DUI convictions and still,\u00a0they choose to drink and drive regardless.<\/p>\n The addiction is stronger than common sense<\/strong>. The anger during alcohol<\/a> rampages is a nerve-wracking part of the toxic person\u2019s behavior as well. I learned so much, in my life, that I can sense toxic alcoholic rants as soon as someone opens their mouth. I have a default protocol to protect myself from the onslaught.<\/p>\n Let me share a short conversation to help you get the full effect of this.<\/p>\n Ahem, I just wonder if you got the point of that conversation above, which was a real conversation between me and a toxic family member, who, I might add, was also under the influence of alcohol. This conversation is one of many in which I am persuaded to agree with the topic, no matter how ridiculous<\/strong>.<\/p>\n When the conversation is not clear in their favor, or they fear losing out to good points in an argument, they generally get angry. Toxic people, sometimes with narcissistic behaviors<\/a>, do not believe that they are ever wrong and they are offended by opposite opinions<\/strong>, just as this example states.<\/p>\n Always try to persevere through their threat tactics. \u201cI\u2019m going to leave you\u201d, \u201cI will never do this or that again because this is what I have to endure<\/em>\u201d, or \u201cYou\u2019re crazy. You love to cause an argument over everything<\/em>.\u201d When you hear these words, they will frighten you.<\/p>\n They are designed to frighten you<\/strong>, in order for the toxic family member to continue to win! Be strong and let these words roll over your back. Usually, they are testing you, and if they are not, then let them have their way somewhere else. They are not worth your time.<\/p>\n A toxic family member will try to whittle you down until you are like a servant to them, a fan club and a devoted follower. You are not meant to walk in anyone\u2019s shadow<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Stand out and away from the darkness of a toxic person<\/a>. Keep telling yourself that you are worth it, and deserve to be happy. They are the ones with the problem.<\/p>\n Many times, toxic people will try to start an argument with you and then place you as the blame for this same confrontation. It\u2019s all a way of bringing you down while lifting them up.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a little secret: A toxic person actually has low self-esteem and he hides it with a bloated ego<\/a><\/strong>. Walk away from arguments and ignore their drama. The toxic family member may get mad for a while, but eventually, they will understand that you aren\u2019t willing to play the game anymore.<\/p>\n Make sure that you aren\u2019t carrying any toxic traits either. Being a toxic person is a waste of time,<\/strong> and is so hurtful toward others. Changed behavior is the only way to live a healthy life.<\/p>\n1. Controlling<\/h3>\n
2. Liars<\/h3>\n
3. Arrogant<\/h3>\n
4. Addictions<\/h3>\n
5. Toxic Family Members Are Never Wrong<\/h3>\n
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So, I want to help you learn to deal with the toxic members of your family (and in the process, continue my own battle with mine).<\/h3>\n
1. Stay Strong<\/h4>\n
2. Never ever lose sight of your self-worth.<\/h4>\n
3. Don\u2019t fall for their traps.<\/h4>\n
4. And finally, look within.<\/h4>\n