The truth is friends change. No matter how much you love and appreciate your acquaintances, they can still fade and disappear from your life.
I remember having certain friends in primary school. Now, I never see these people, and rarely even think about them anymore. It’s sad, I know, but friends become different people over time – they inevitably change.
The changes that occur among friends can be small or drastic, and this determines the changes that end or begin friendships. The strangest thing that happens sometimes is friends fade for no reason at all. It does happen.
There are common reasons
Although many friendships fade over time, there are still common reasons why some of these friendships end. After all, as human beings, we are constantly changing and accomplishing new things in life.
Our dreams change, our goals change and our standards become cemented in our minds as our only way of life. So many things govern the life or death of a friendship.
Here are a few common reasons why friends change.
1. Lifestyle Changes
Friends lose contact sometimes simply because of lifestyle changes. For instance, if you delve into politics, this alone can change friendships. From the way things look today, people are sensitive, and with this sensitivity comes strong standards and morals. As lifestyles change, friends often change with these. It’s unfortunate, but it’s neither good nor bad, to be honest.
Honestly, it’s more important to stick to your innermost beliefs and let the chips fall where they may. Of course, this is just my opinion, but now you have one reason why your best friend from high school may not keep in contact. Maybe it’s just a difference in spiritual belief. And yes, that can divide friendships.
2. Change in Location
Friendships sometimes dissolve simply because one of you moved far away. For instance, maybe you were best friends with someone and you lived in the same town. Maybe you even lived next door to your friend. Suddenly, a change in career or a new relationship has you moving hundreds of miles away. You promise to stay in contact, and that seems enduring enough, but over time, this just isn’t enough to retain your close feelings.
Sometimes when locations change, friendships change as well. It’s just a part of life.
3. Friendship Has No Ceremony
Unlike marriage, friendship has no formal ceremony to commemorate the union. There is no official meeting or speech declaring the partnership between one friend and the other. Friendships suddenly begin and then end just as fast. Sometimes, you never know why a friendship ended, while sometimes a huge fight or betrayal annihilated the union.
Although many friendships are strong, they cannot outlast everything that happens. Some friendships are like family, but they still manage to fade over time if not given enough attention. So, without a formal ceremony, much like a marriage, there is no promise to stay in touch or keep connected. This is another reason why friendships change.
4. High School and College Graduation
When you finish high school and start college, you will meet and become friends with many people. You will also lose contact with high school friends, at least some of them. During college, you will meet new friends and start over. Some of the acquaintances will prove to be friends you see all the time. You may even live with a good friend all during your college years.
Now, here comes the next sad part. When college graduation nears, you will realize that some of these friends are going separate ways of chasing different career paths. This will mean friends, separating and eventually, most of the time, losing contact over the years. Although not all friends will fade away, most of them will. This too is just a fact of life.
5. Relationships Replace Friendships
Let’s be honest, some friendships fade because relationships divide people. For instance, if you’re best friends with someone, you’re probably around them quite a bit. Well, that’s the case sometimes, anyway. Well, say this best friend of yours suddenly gets into a serious relationship. Do you think things will change between the two of you?
The truth is yes. Usually, friendships change when one person enters a relationship. If they get married, then the friendship changes drastically. In some cases, friends change and lose contact with each other simply because one of them got married. This seems sad, and it is, but it’s also a natural process.
6. Friendships Are Sometimes One-Sided
Friendships may seem solid as long as you are spending lots of time together. As you drift apart because of life’s circumstance, you may notice the fragility of the friendship. You will see just how much friendship changes when situations change. Of course, this can be discouraging.
The reason why friendships are revealed to be fragile is usually that they are one-sided. Many times one friend is closer than the other, and the forgotten ones are who suffer when friendships end or fade. In some circumstances friendships prove themselves to be false, revealing a drastic revelation to the other partner.
Friends change, and sometimes it’s because the friendship never really existed, to begin with.
How to Stop Losing Friends
There are no definite ways that stop the end of a friendship. Sometimes, unfortunately, friendships disappear. It’s one of the unfair aspects of life. However, you can retain some friendships by simply making an effort to stay in contact. This works well when changing your location is the culprit.
When it comes to lifestyle changes, in order to stay friends you must remember that these changes shouldn’t matter if the friendship is strong. Changing friendships doesn’t have to mean ending friendships. Too many people have abandoned others simply because they believed differently than before.
If intimate relationships or marriages threaten to end friendships then try this out Carve a bit of time to spend with your friends to ensure the platonic relationships survive as well. True friends are understanding and will stick by your side no matter what.
If the friendship has to end, and there is no other choice, then remember this: Change is good. When one friend leaves, another will take their place, maybe offering new things and brighter ideas. So, if you’ve losing friends and it’s taking a toll on your mind, just know…
Sometimes friends can only remain in your heart, long after their presence has faded. This, my friend, is okay. I think that’s why we have such big hearts and huge capabilities to love.