What’s one of the most painful things about divorce? I think it’s when you discover that your ex never loved you. That is a hard truth to swallow.
Are you playing around with this thought? Are you looking for the signs your ex never loved you? Well, you’re not alone in that fear. Many people who’ve gone through divorce ruminate on their past relationships, trying to figure out what went wrong. They replay past events in their heads, analyzing details of previous situations, wondering if they were ever really loved.
Signs your ex never loved you
Little indicators may prove what you don’t want to hear. I’m sorry, but sometimes ex-partners don’t love you as much as they claim, if at all. Although this is heart-wrenching, it’s also liberating. Knowing the truth helps you move on with your life.
Let’s look at a few of the signs your ex never loved you. Hopefully, then, your true healing can begin.
1. They don’t remember important details or dates
When someone truly loves you, they try their best to remember important things about you. This includes your favorite colors, television shows, etc.
Also, they remember your birthday and anniversary. It shows genuine love when you can appreciate things your partner adores and keep up with particular dates. When you don’t know many things about your partner, it shows a lack of true interest in them.
2. They’ve cheated on you more than once
Cheating on your partner is always bad, but sometimes people make terrible mistakes. However, if your partner has cheated on you more than once, it’s a sign that they never loved you in the first place.
When they love you, they don’t have a reason to cheat at all. And I know that some people struggle with sexual addictions, but that’s another factor completely. I think you get the picture.
3. They tried to change you
The truest love involves partners who appreciate each other’s differences. They do not try to change the core characteristics of their partner. After all, it’s those basic things that made them fall in love with one another. So, if your ex always tried to change you and insist that you can be better, then maybe your ex never loved you at all.
4. They never said, “I love you.”
This should be obvious, but you’d be surprised by how someone can convince you that those words aren’t necessary. And maybe it’s not necessary to say “I love you”, but it’s sure a red flag when your partner never says it in all the years you’ve been together. I believe it’s possible that your ex never loved you if they cannot express their love in words at least once.
5. You were not their priority
Spending time with others is healthy, no doubt. But while you’re not the only part of your partner’s life, you should be a priority. If you were not a priority, then they may not have been in love with you.
Think back on the time you were in the relationship. Did they seem to put friends and other family members above you? If so, your ex may not have cherished you the way you thought they did.
6. You really didn’t know them
During a relationship, you spend so much time getting to know each other, or you should. But sometimes, one partner might remain closed off to the other. After you’ve gone through a divorce, if you’re not able to see who this person is now, then you didn’t know them in the first place.
And when someone is closed off emotionally, they either never loved you or just never felt comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities. Not knowing your partner speaks volumes.
7. They always made you feel bad
In a relationship void of love, partners will not respect each other. If your ex always put you down or made you feel bad about yourself, then they probably didn’t truly love you.
They just wanted to control you and make you feel so bad about yourself that you’d believe you couldn’t find anyone better. After a divorce, this person usually still negatively talks about their ex-partner.
8. They never tried to make it work
Just think back, who communicated about problems and who just walked away? Now, I know that in special circumstances, walking away is good. But at some point, if you want to save the relationship, then you talk about your problems. Something was wrong if your ex never put effort into your relationship.
This could also mean they did not have an interest in your needs or spent any time compromising. It seemed like they just didn’t care whether the relationship worked out or not. They may not have loved you if they just never really tried.
Did your ex love you?
After a divorce, you might not care whether your partner loved you or not. But some people want to know if they were being fooled all that time. I once talked to someone fresh out of a relationship. They told me one thing that I will always remember, and it was this:
“I hate the time I wasted in the relationship”.
Although this statement is tough, and it did make me think, we must remember that everything we’ve endured throughout the relationship is a learning experience.
And when we take what we’ve learned and implement those things in our lives, we only become better people for it. So, if you recognize the signs your ex never loved you, just remember that you love you… and that matters even more.
Hope this helped.
