If you are looking for ways of saving a relationship, you are in the right place. This step by step guide will show you how.
At some point, you can’t take it anymore. You want to give up.
Maybe you are together with your girlfriend for five months, maybe for five years. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that your relationship is about to drown and that you have to do something.
You have to take action, otherwise, you’ll lose her. Of course, the same is also true for you if you are a woman and you are about to lose your man. The only reason why I write this article from the male point of view is that I’m a man and I’ve been in this situation.
Saving a relationship doesn’t always feel worth it. I know how it feels to wake up next to someone you don’t want to sleep next to, even though you love this person. I know how it feels to cry (yes, it’s okay to cry as a man) because you don’t know if it makes sense to save this relationship or if it’s already too late.
You are confused. You are angry.
I’ve been there and that’s why I decided to share a step-by-step guide to saving a relationship that helped me when I was in this situation.
Step 1: Write down the reasons why you want to give up
Writing helps. It frees the mind. It helps you to clarify your thoughts. And it’s damn important for saving a relationship.
It might sound counterintuitive, but the first thing I want you to do is to write down all the reasons why you want to give up. Don’t worry. It’ll make sense in a second. For now, write down all the reasons why you want to leave her and end the relationship right now.
This can be painful. Your hands might shake. Don’t suppress the tears. Let it all out.
Did you write down all the reasons why you want to break up with her?
Great! Now look at these reasons and think about ways you can fix the problems and improve the relationship. Write at least one improvement proposal behind every reason.
Once you have done this you will realize that it’s not as hopeless as you thought it was and that there are in fact ways to turn a drowning relationship into a fulfilling one.
Step 2: Write down the reasons why you want to stay together
Don’t throw away your pen. You still need it.
Now that you’ve written down all the things that you hate about her and your relationship, it’s time to write down all the things that you love about her and your relationship. I know that there are at least a couple of things that you would miss if she’d be gone.
You might fight a lot, but cuddling with her makes you feel comfortable and at peace. You might have different opinions on many things, but you share beautiful memories.
No matter what it is, write it down. This will give you the strength to ask yourself the next question.
Step 3: Are you the reason why the relationship is drowning?
It’s time to ask yourself a very painful question:
“Am I the reason why the relationship is drowning?”
It’s okay. You can hate me for what I just said. But that doesn’t change the fact that you might be the real reason why you are stuck in a terrible relationship.
When I think back to the time when I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I remember a dozen situations in which I was to blame for our arguments. Of course, back then I didn’t see it this way. I thought that she’s the reason why I was so miserable in the relationship.
Years later I realized that I was anything but a good boyfriend. It’s hard to admit but once you admit that you are not an angel, you can improve the relationship by working on yourself.
Step 4: Sit down and talk about everything
This step on the path to saving a relationship is the hardest.
You need to sit down and talk about everything.
You have your list of things that bother you and the possible solutions to these problems. Oh, and don’t forget the list of things you love about her and your relationship. You’ll need it when she gets angry and defensive.
I don’t say that sitting down and talking about the future (or end) of your relationship is easy. All I say is that it is necessary. Once you have talked about everything, it’s up to you and her if you want to give the relationship another chance.
What if you decide to stay together?
Step 5: Reignite the fire and the passion
The worst thing you can do in this situation is to sit back and relax. Einstein’s theory of insanity is to continue to do the same things and expect different results.
That’s not how it works. If you behave as you’ve behaved before the conversation, you’ll soon have the same conversation again. And this time it might be the last conversation you’ll ever have.
It’s time for a change.
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s a high chance that your relationship was anything but passionate and adventurous. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so damn unhappy.
Show her that passion is not a foreign word for you. Be her Indiana Jones. Give her the feeling that she craves for. Seduce her, love her and take her on one adventure after another. She’ll look at you like she’s never looked at you before.
Step 6: Prove your love every day
Of course, you can’t take her on an adventurous trip every single day. Both of you have jobs and responsibilities. But that doesn’t mean that you have to allow your daily routine to destroy your relationship.
One compliment, one gentle touch, one passionate kiss…
This can be enough to remind her that you truly love her. Do this every day and she won’t be able to imagine a life without you.
So, what you think? Was this guide to saving a relationship helpful for you? Let us know in the comments below!