Falling in love is wonderful, but getting married is a completely different level in relationships. That’s why it’s so important to understand relationship rules offered by marriage counselors.
When you’re young, falling in love seems easy. You think that just because you’re attracted to someone and love to spend time together, that this is enough to make a lifelong commitment. Well, think again. There are relationship rules that every potential couple needs to learn and understand before making any longterm plans together. These rules will prove valuable in the long run.
How important are relationship rules
Rules put in place before marriage helps guide couples in the right direction. It helps you learn qualities, good and bad, and checks for true compatibility. Relationship rules help you weed out unhealthy unions before they being. With that being said, here are those relationship rules that will keep you on track.
You knew this one would be listed. Trust is one of the most important rules in a good relationship and goes hand in hand with loyalty. Learning to trust each other leaves you with a sense of comfort and support. If you can find a mate you trust, this means so much. Of course, it is important to show you can be trusted as well. It’s just that simple.
When entering into a relationship, we make one huge mistake. We often forget about our partner’s feelings and focus on our own. Most of the time, it’s not purposeful hurtful actions. It’s important, however, to not only recognize feelings but understand the needs your partner may have. This helps you see them as a separate human being which must be respected. As you probably know, the lack of respect has ended many marriages or relationships, and by understanding needs, we will be able to have more respect and know how to deal with differences.
Calling names is never good in a relationship unless it’s for fun. In many cases, fights between partners will turn ugly. They will resort to bringing up the past, name-calling, yelling, or other derogatory weapons of warfare. This only makes things worse and often hurts feelings. Sometimes things done during fights can leave deep scars and eventually end the relationship. When fighting, try to focus on the problem at hand and talk calmly no matter how angry you become.
Keep promises or don’t make them
If you feel like you cannot keep a promise, then don’t make one. Couples should strive to never break promises. The thing is, they tend to make them too quickly. Before promising anything to your partner, think long and hard about the topic. Although promising may make your partner happy for the time being, there is a chance that promise will be broken. The more likely it will be broken, the less reason to make the promise. It’s usually better to just say that you will try to do something.
Keep a sense of humor
Laughter really is the best medicine, and it can help you during some of the most horrible circumstances in your relationship. Sometimes just laughing about a bad situation will give you time to breathe, step back, and approach the issue in a new way. A good sense of humor will also keep you connected to your loved one and help you create an even stronger bond after problems arise.
Sexual relations or intimacy are not everything in a relationship, but they are important. Attractiveness is often underrated because people want to make sure they focus on the personality of their partner. It is best, however, that you choose someone that you’re attracted to. This helps so much to keep intimacy alive. Always be willing to spend that sort of quality time together no matter what life throws at you.
Loyalty loyalty loyalty
There are many different types of relationships and it’s important to understand the standards that you’ve set in the beginning. If you’ve agreed to have a monogamous relationship, then you should be loyal to that form. If not, then you must adhere to the loyalty agreed upon when you entered into a union. Loyalty, truth be told, is a state of mind. If you haven’t made your motivations and standards clear, then that’s something you need to do before marriage.
Apologies and forgiveness
Never be too prideful to apologize in your part of an argument, fight, or problem. If you’re not sure which one of you is to blame, then both of you should apologize. Saying you’re sorry doesn’t mean you are weak or less of a human. It just means you care more about the relationship than whether or not you’re the winner of the disagreement. Also, be quick to forgive as well. Apologies and forgiveness are key aspects of a healthy relationship.
Whether your partner gave you an expensive bracelet or one wildflower, treat this gesture the same way. Always say thank you and show how much you appreciate the fact that your partner was thinking about you. Being and feeling wanted and appreciated is so powerful and one way to seal the deal on happiness.
The 60/40 rule
I was having a bit of trouble with this one lately. I am always afraid that I will either take too much from my partner or he will do that to me and take advantage. To solve that problem, I’ve learned, I should use the 60/40 rule, and you should too. In other words, I should give a bit more than I take, and hope that my partner will act in the same way. Trying to hit it 50/50 on the mark all the time will leave you stressed and always keeping score. That’s no relationship.
Relationship rules really help
Before you get married, make a list of what you want from the union. Encourage your partner to do the same. Use these relationship rules to guide you through the process. You will learn about your compatibility and how to fight fair when things go wrong. Most importantly, take your time to learn about each other. It’s better not to rush into something so serious and permanent.
I hope this has helped you and your partner understand the basics of these relationship rules and marriage. Good luck and I wish you happiness!
By Sherrie H.