I am not a perfect woman, and far from it. But in case you’re looking for her, society has a distinct blueprint.

I’m going to try not to get too emotional while writing this, as I am not the ideal mother or the perfect woman.

I am deeply flawed and far from the female, bragged about in Proverbs 31 (It’s a book in the Christian Bible which explains what the perfect woman should be). Yeah, this is not me!

Society has placed pressures on women. They must be great mothers, excellent workers, if they decide to work, which is not preferred by society, to be honest, and sexy as well. Yes, I said the “s” word, because I need you to understand how important society thinks it is to do the impossible and look good in the process!

When it all hit home!

I was talking to my boyfriend. I told him that one reason why women were so competitive is because of society’s expectations.

And I was distraught, finally falling apart from the fatigue of trying to be a perfect female. I know he means well, but the look on his face told me that he was overwhelmed and really didn’t understand. So, who will hear us?

What you must do to be the perfect woman

Okay, so I cried, let it all out and then moved on. Basically, I didn’t want to feel “not good enough” anymore. So, that’s why I’m standing my ground. I’m going to fight back against these expectations. I have prepared a list of “perfect woman” qualities so that you can see what a woman is supposed to be according to society.

If you’re looking for the perfect female, here’s your sign!

She must be pretty/beautiful/sexy/hot

Let me get this one out of the way because it is the worst! Society says, as women, we should look good. That’s fine, I get it, it’s good to be attractive, but what is beauty?

Who sets the standards for what beautiful should be? Did you know that there are different ideas of beauty from around the world? What is seen as beautiful in the United States may not be attractive in Europe or Asia. Actually, it’s quite different for sure.

Regardless, it goes deeper than that. There is three times more emphasis placed on women to look “pretty”, just take a look at the cosmetic industry, clothing and shoes!

Yes, men’s apparel is gaining a wider variety, but it has nothing on what’s targeted at the female customer. Let’s just be honest, the body shaming, the harassment, and competition – it’s getting out of hand with this stuff, wouldn’t you think?

Society says that the perfect woman is beautiful, put together and sexy. Her looks are the first thing that men or other women notice. The mind of the woman is noticed much later, sometimes as long as after marriage even.



There are unreal expectations for women to constantly adjust their physical appearance, and it is damaging to their mental health.

She shouldn’t work

This may not be a universal preference, but it is a common one. Many men or other members of society prefer that women not enter the workforce.

Most of these beliefs come from old-fashioned standards or religious views. Speaking of religion, did you know that in some beliefs, women cannot be pastors, preachers or teachers according to the scriptures? It’s true, but hey, I don’t listen to that.

Society has created an image of women that does not include work tools or equipment. The perfect woman is seen with homemaker tools instead, which show you just how thinking is still so primitive.

Most women resent this preference, as well, and still strive to break this stereotypical view of women. I congratulate every single woman who fights this ideal. Thank you!

She should go get a job

Kind of on the flip side lies the idea that any work done at home is not work at all. I am a writer, I write almost every day, in some form or for some client. I spend more time working on my writing sometimes than an individual working an outside job, but to others, I still need to “go get a job”.



Sometimes, I even forget to eat because of pressing deadlines. I would call this work because it is! They would not call this work and so I need to dress up, go out, and drop physical applications.

The problem with society is that work from home is never seen as important. They may claim that you have a job, but deep down, they really don’t believe it.

I have had so many people comment on how easy it must be to work in my pajamas and take breaks whenever I want. There is truth in that statement, but the statement only covers a small percentage of what working from home entails.

Not only do women have to complete their work-at-home assignments, as with freelancers, they also have to make sure the homemaker duties are completed as well, especially if no one else in the household will help them. Sorry, my “personal vendetta against shallow judgment” is showing again. Forgive me….

She must be able to cook, clean and cater to the man

I honestly believe there are more male chefs than female, but I could be wrong. Society believes, however, that every single woman should have the inborn talent to create an edible masterpiece.

I remember a statement from my childhood when my father reprimanded me for playing outside instead of helping my mother in the kitchen.

“No man will ever marry you if you cannot cook or clean.”

That’s really sexist, isn’t it? Well, my father was serious, and in the early 80s, my mother was still doing all these things without my father’s help. In fact, she worked a full-time job, cooked two meals a day and cleaned/washed and dusted at every other moment in-between. Her life was a testament to that Proverbs 31 woman I mentioned before.

This is what society says: Every woman must be a role model for little girls. They must have a talent for basic cooking, at least. They must keep their homes clean, dishes and clothes washed and their husbands happy. I feel nauseated, how perfectly hateful and outdated.

She must be “ladylike”

Now this one is interesting, and I also fail miserably in this arena. To society, women must be well-mannered, calm and classy. They should know what to wear, at what time, and for whatever function. They must not be rude, burp, fart or laugh too loud. This is the model of a perfect woman, and all of us females should follow the blueprint…not.

I was a tomboy when younger, and still am. When my father told me that no man would marry me, I wiped my muddy hands on my torn dress and laughed at him.

If memory serves me right, I ran into the woods and hid from him. After he called to me a few times, he shook his head and gave up. I was not that classy girl, and he knew it.

I’m still not that girl. I don’t really care for pleasantries such as knowing which side of my plate to put the salad fork or crossing my legs. Know what? Sometimes I even eat with my hands because, in part of my culture, eating with my hands is acceptable.

I also don’t like wearing dresses all the time or tight formal shoes. I do say, ma’am, although, and I teach my children to do the same. Anyway, I’m not that perfect woman, so move along. When nobody’s looking, most of us aren’t.

She’s a great mother

Maybe, in the beginning, with my first child, I was a doting protective mother. I watched my son while he slept and I probably attended all the parent/teacher meetings. I remember making hundreds of pictures and hosting expensive birthday parties as well.

I have three children now and one stepdaughter. For birthdays, we eat a meal at a nice restaurant, I buy a gift or two and bake a cake. Other than that, the day passes and I move on.

The thing is, I love my children, but I have learned that to be a good mother doesn’t mean you have to give them everything all the time. But society says, the perfect woman, is also the perfect mother, one who sacrifices everything for the good of her children.

Now, let’s think about this for a moment – is it right to sacrifice everything for your child? Most people would say yes, but then most people aren’t going to analyze that question for their own good, but I will.

If I am not happy, then how is this a good thing for my children. If I am spending every waking moment spoiling them, gifting them and paying empty compliments, then I have no energy to do things for myself. My children need to know what it means to have healthy self-love as well. But, I guess society didn’t think about that!

Now that I have filled your head with information, what really is the perfect woman?

The perfect woman does not exist. Many women may strive to fit the mold of the Proverbs 31 chick, but let’s face it, we can never live up to this symbolic image.

I think, as women, we should strive to do as our conscious tells us, not as society governs. In time, maybe society will understand and appreciate women for who they really are.

Imperfect and absolutely beautiful!


Copyright © 2014-2022 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Gabriel Vee

    We are only perfect when we are true self. As intended. Much love

    1. Sherrie H.

      Gabriel,

      I agree! Thank you for reading!

  2. mary

    So true! Didn’t know how to put it into words, but you summed it up perfectly! I’m not at the giving birh age, but the body image one truly does impact mental health! Loved it!

  3. Holmes

    I can agree to a point. The “perfect” woman does not exist! However, with that being said, all this justification to “you do you” bullshit and don’t forget all the “confidence and self esteem” really made our society better???? Granted, I remember one of the very few times going to church (I think I covered every kind, catholic, synagogue, Baptist, Protestant, etc) This neighbor was “taking” us all to church in this old Chevy van truck thing. This vehicle had a column shift (3speed) and as they were back then, all the linkage was wore out. I remember very clearly hearing what I believed at the time, her covering every curse work in the book (not sure what book, but there were many) on our trek, as to the fact she was constantly hitting reverse or what ever gear it decided to go into. But none of us repeated one of the booked words! Now, look at today, these females look and act like sluts/whores, cheats, rejects from a Barnum Baily circus. Lets take a look, tattoos (NO they are not “sexy” or “cute”)(and whatever “meaning” they have, nobody really gives a flying shit), piercings(what asshole decided to start punching holes in one’s self), purple, orange, blue, green, plaid, etc hair(WTF), the whole no-makeup-face thing, oh and one of my favorites OBESITY(and these lard asses have to wear spandex?????), smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction, multiple babies w/multiple babydaddies, cheats, slobs, liers, poor hygiene, piss poor health, piss poor dental hygiene, laziness, narcissism, addicted to social media, addicted to their phone, selfie addiction, absolutely no sense of femininity, feminism, those ugly ballet shoe things with their toes all squishing out the sides, another favorite “the bare leg movement” (I happen to be a ‘legman” and this sad bullshit really SUCKS!!! Your not eighteen with perfect legs) These morons all complain “they make you sweat, they’re too tight, restrictive, outdated, don’t last, etc” and one of my favorites “they cause yeast infections”. now I will address this one! IT IS NOT A FUCKING YEAST INFECTION, it IS actually an allergic reaction to yeast!!!!! So stockings don’t cause dietary issues, assholes stuffing their faces with shit they shouldn’t be eating in the first place do!!!! Generally areas with mucus, excrete unwanted elements from your body! And all the other “issues” related to the bare leg movement are ALL just piss poor choices. Just like most things, piss poor choices! “I can’t find a decent guy”, well there sweetheart, look at the above mentioned list(as well as a mirror) and you WILL find a direct coloration to the REASONS you “can’t find a decent guy”! Your a tub of crap? Why would anyone want that? You have earings hanging out of your nose and genitals? You look like an old navy fleet hag with smeared blotchy smeared ink all over your body parts (looks great with sagging tits), brain fried from drugs and alcohol? Count me in! The washed out no-makeup-face look? Yeah real effort put in there! Your living quarters look like a pig wouldn’t be caught dead in it? Very attractive! Can’t keep the penis train at the red light? Maybe that’s why you don’t get the call/phone number? But “I” have a degree! That and a BJ will get you a halfassed job somewhere! Perfume? Oh every guy wants to be with some skank that smells like she belongs on a shelf at Cinnabon, then finds out she has a “yeast infection”! YOU GO GIRL!!!! So now all the “COWS” can have a “confidence” and “self esteem” boost! Just like who wants some loser eating “hot wings” with their hat on backwards, drinking beer watching sports, smelling like an old sweat suit, then jumping on their horrible Davidson with no helmet, but “loud pipes save lives” driving like a complete asshole! Agenda-21 why not welcome it! So my question is. . . . . . . .where are these “women” trying hard to fit the Proverbs 31???????? Not that I am “perfect” BUT, I never owned and will never own a horrible davidson, put my hat on backwards, drink beer, watch sports (I’d rather have my eyes gouged out)eat “hot wings”. Now, I have NEVER, cheated, hit, abused any of the females I’ve been with! I work a lot, for the most part have all my teeth, hair(a lot of it and still blonde) don’t live with my parents, have my own car, still have musclemass (could stand to lose a few pounds but not FAT) I try to eat decent food, , try to stimulate my grey matter, never did drugs, body modifications, drink occasionally, never smoked, not on any meds, (not even Viagra with the right female) So to sum this up, these females today NEED a complete “makeover”!!!!! They are as a whole disgusting pigs! Don’t believe me???? Do a search on “why men don’t want women/ western women”!!!! And look at ALL the statistics, divorce over 82%(over 85% initiated by the female), marriage rate below 49%, father’s suicide rate, destitute fathers after divorce, Men Going Their Own Way, No wife-happy life, Better abroad, and countless others. TV shows= man is an idiot, so to fix this You-Go-Girl bullshit is going to take generations, if at all! So keep feeding the feminist hog and just keep all the YOU-GO-GIRL!!!!
    Peace-out!

Leave a Reply