If you are not happy in a relationship, there might be lots of reasons for that. However, the point is to know whether your relationship is failing.
Romantic relationships can be frustrating, complicated and demanding. At the same time, they can be fulfilling, empowering and exhilarating. Healthy relationships involve commitment, effort, and compromise. Relationships are worth the work because there are immense benefits to being in a committed relationship. However, when you are not happy in a relationship, it’s a different story.
Did you know a healthy relationship reduces the risk of a heart attack for both men and women? Now you know!
The benefits of being in a healthy relationship
There is nothing like being in a romantic relationship: If it is good, it is really good. If it is bad, it is really bad!
- A relationship provides you with the opportunity to be part of something bigger than yourself.
We all have an innate need to feel a sense of belonging. When this need is met, you gain a sense of wellbeing.
- Reduced stress and anxiety
This is especially true for men, who are likely to have only a few people that they can turn to for emotional support. Emotional support has a positive impact on psychological health. People in committed relationships feel listened to and cared for.
- Improved emotional health
Research by the University of Chicago revealed that married couples or those in committed relationships have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. The result is reduced anxiety and stress levels. Indeed, couples have been found to have less risk of mental illness as compared to people who are single.
- Shared memories
When you are on your own even the most exciting things seem bland don’t they? Well, when you are in a relationship, the most insignificant things become memorable just by sharing them with a significant other.
- A relationship gives you a sense of attachment security.
The bond with a long-term partner offers you a sense of security that affords partners a safe space to try new things. If what they try does not work out, the partners have a ‘soft place’ to fall back on.
- Relationships make people happy. Pretty obvious, isn’t it?
Other interesting benefits to being in a relationship include:
- It can help you live longer
- It helps you age more gracefully
- It helps you heal faster
- It helps you sleep better
- It can help you feel less pain
When You Are Not Happy in a Relationship Which Is Anything but Healthy
Relationships, marriages are ruined where one person continues to learn, develop and grow and the other person stands still.
~ Catherine Pulsifer
What if you are not happy in a relationship and it makes you miserable? No relationship is perfect. Two people will always have issues to iron out. Still, those differences shouldn’t be so serious that the emotional health of the partners is at risk.
Some of the effects of staying in an unhealthy relationship are long-term: an erosion of your self-worth, stress, depression, anxiety, fear, and even medical problems. A study revealed that people in unhealthy relationships were at a higher risk of developing heart problems.
A healthy relationship may be the single most important thing in your life, but when it becomes unhealthy, it can do untold damage. The longer you hold on to an unhappy relationship, the more difficult it becomes to end it.
Here is a checklist to determine whether your relationship is terminal.
Research shows that 60 percent of people report that they are not happy in a relationship. While once in a while you will find that your relationship is not where you want it to be, there is a point in a relationship where the only option you have is to bury the relationship.
Giving up doesn’t mean that you are weak, sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.
Loss of emotional connection
Does your heart sink when your partner calls unexpectedly during the day? Do you experience any negative reactions when their name pops up on your phone? If you start experiencing immediate aversion to hearing your partner’s voice, it means there is probably no love or affection left for him.
There is tension when you and your partner are in the same space.
Feelings of unhappiness are hard to admit between couples because doing so means they will have to confront some difficult issues. This avoidance is manifested through negative behavior like nagging, criticisms, nitpicking, anger, and crankiness. Or your partner has become a ‘short fuse.’
He no longer has any patience, and you walk on eggshells around him because it feels like he could explode at any time. When your partner leaves, you to feel relieved. This is one of the most significant red flags. You should miss your partner when they are away; not celebrate their absence.
You feel put down.
When you are not happy in a relationship, it often entails a lot of negativity and takes a lot from you. It will regularly make you feel down about yourself and your relationship. Also, you may find yourself getting emotional around family and friends. This is a clear indication that something is wrong and you are just waiting for the right safe person to vent about it.
Your fights have become mean and ugly.
Every couple needs to argue now and then just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys. Nicholas Sparks
Every couple fights; so the fact that you are arguing is not in itself of major concern. However, how you fight matters a lot. For instance, a partner who often acts destructively or is emotionally or physically abusive probably does not have very much respect and love for the relationship.
Also, if you have stopped fighting but feel further apart than ever, it is a sign that you have reached crossroads.
You fantasize about life without your partner.
If you have lately been imagining a happy (happy being the key word here) life without your partner, this is a massive indicator that things are not right. Such thoughts portray an emotional detachment process, during which you are already trying out a new life in your mind. Thoughts of a possible life without your partner could be an indication that you have fallen out of love.
Your time, energy and resources are limited. When you are not happy in a relationship and spend time on quarrels and negative feelings, you have less time to build the kind of life you want for yourself. Ending an unhealthy relationship or implementing changes to make it healthy may not be easy, but with willingness and commitment, and help from friends and professionals, it is possible.
Author Bio: Christopher runs the blog https://redesigningthemind.com/ which is about your clarifying and improving the relationship with your brain. He has an advanced diploma in social science and a graduate diploma in technology education. When he’s not learning, he’s teaching at a local high school, enjoying time with his young family or if he’s really lucky, he’s in the garden.